Oh teeki, lots of hugs. DS1 didn't have tt but we had issues with attachment that led to the same pain your describing. I remember hating bf time, and tensing up at the thought. I'd curl up my toes attaching him and often swear. I didn't do anything though until I was at the point of saying "I can't do this anymore". And DH wanted me to stop because he couldn't stand watching me in pain. Mine were bad, I couldn't even touch them at all, and a towel was like sandpaper. Once we got attachment correct it all improved extremely quickly. I had to position nipple into his soft pallet as he wasn't attaching totally correctly, though it looked correct from my pov.

I did the milk, air, sunlight and lanolin. I found these pads that had a type of healing gel on them that really helped to soothe and heal my nipples. Will try to find the name of them.