Could you give her EBM? That way she will continue to get 'the good stuff' from you and also will not get use to the FF taste and consistancy.
also you need to figure out what helps you let down quickly? i know if i am worried about somehing i will have a slower let down... in your case, worring about a slow let down may make it slower so its a bit of a catch 22.

Sorry i cant be of more help
hope things improve for you both