mumof2boys how are you going? Did your night get any easier? I don't really have any answer as i'm looking for some myself and your post could have been written by myself in many ways also.

I too have a beautful little lady after two gorgeous boys DS1 i got into the perfect routine for us of feed/play/sleep, slept through from 4ish months and i breastfed him up until 13 months. DS2 was a little different. He was more so fed to sleep and was having night feeds up until 15 months of age. We stopped as i fell pregnant, my milk changed, he started biting and attachment made me chringe. I was just not enjoying it anymore. DD has been similar to DS2 in many ways, i can't do much on my own in fear of her waking and not settling for anyone else. Not wanting to put her or anyone else in that situation. DH, similar to yours hasn't the patience and just does not seem to have 'that' effect over her to be able to settle. Probably our own fault but i'm the one home with the kids and have to be able to deal with everything.

I logged on today thinking about asking for some advice also. DD has been pretty good, she had reflux in the early months, cried a lot and fed every couple of hours we have improved but i can't go anywhere or do anything without her. The days are getting easier but the nights are not. She's waking 3-4 times a night and i feed her as it's the easiest thing to do. I have not had the hours at a time inbetween feeds and sleep like you and i really feel for you there. I am at the stage where i want things to change but i want to keep feeding her. Tonigth we have a party to go to and i think we are taking her with us... it's just the easiest thing to do.

You'd think after our 2 one more wouldn't do this to us??!! DD is in a zip up sleeping bag which has been great but i have to figure out how to get her out of it and i need to stop this feeding to sleep also. For us feeding to sleep has worked because she is a cat napper and very easily distracted so when she wakes she is not hungry and i don't know how else to get her to concentrate and have her feeds. I need to make some changes but i just have to figure out what and how.

I know all this is kind of irrelevant to your actual question and i see over the time of you posting this you are still really struggling. Something needs to give for your own sanity. Like i know i need to do, can you think about things in priorty of what you would like to change and how to do it? You dont' want it to cause too much distress so it may be very gradual. It may be that when feeding to sleep as soon as you know she is just comfort feeding take her off, and hold her, hopefuly she may stay asleep. If not put her back on to calm her again and then try it again. Idealy eventualy to have her asleep in your arms would be great and then try the whole transistion to the bed process. It may take some time but hopfuly it will get quicker and easier. I'm not sure if this is what would be reccommended by professionals but to me it seems gentle. The other option is to express and get DH to feed her... Something i could try myself... we'v just never had much luck with the bottle.

With me feeding to sleep i have always tried to not let DD comfort feed too much, once i knew she'd had her feed i took her off. For the most past she has happily gone to bed after this. So while that is what has worked for me up until now i am the point where i'd like to make some changes. So i'm thinking and not really doing just yet but i want to be able to have a night out and know she'll be ok. I'd like to be getting a little more sleep at night. So i might go and take some of my own advice and see if i have any sucess.

Good luck, i'm sure things will get better with some gentle changes. And i also hope that knowing there are others out there with the same challenges right now, tonight and tomorrow, can bring even the slighest bit of comfort. We get there eventually