Oh sweetie, its hard when it doesnt go to plan, isnt it? FWIW my DD had absolutely no idea how to breastfeed and whilst I did expect their to be hurdles never did I dream she would have no idea what a boob was
Ok, you are definately NOT failing, you are feeding your special girl and you are providing her with so much by doing that! Your determination is inspiring, hun and having that determination and dedication is what is going to get you through this awful time. Perhaps, and I know its not a long term solution but if you are really struggling with the pain then you could express and give it to her in a cup or bottle for a day or so. That might allow you the space to get back on track, gosh I know how awful it can be
Dont be angry at yourself, you introduced a formula feed to keep you sane, hun. That you can eliminate down the track when things settle and she get the hang of it or you find the cause. You have to do what you need to so that long term you can achieve the goal you set out to do
I know right now it all seems unbearable and hard and like the whole world is on your shoulders but you will succeed at this, if you stick it out (like you are). It took us a good 5 months to get DD to feed well, prior to that she would often try to attach to my arm, leg, belly, you get my point. In a few months you will look back and be so thankful that you kept it up. You really are doing awesome! 2 whole months, you should be proud