It is a huge effort.
SOme things that may make it a weeny bit easier:
*don't sterilise after every feed, just once a day is enough unless your baby has a dodgy immune system or is very preemy
*after each pump put the pump parts, milk drips and all, in a zip-bag in the fridge until next time - no need to wash them except for once a day

Have you tried hand-expressing to make sure that the let down is there and she doesn't have to mangle you to get it to happen? Even take her off the boob, hand squirt until it comes again, and put her back on?

big hugs
Kate

Just thinking a bit more - to survive the next couple of weeks I think in your position I would only try attaching a couple of times a day. That way you hurt less! And save some time.
And in the slightly longer term I would take the "do what I have to to maintain some sort of supply while bub gets her act together" approach - express as much as I can stand to, attach a couple of times a day, and FF as needed to top up.
Then when she does work out attaching, or you work out what the issue is, it is possible to move to full time BF.