Hey there,

I can so relate to much of what you have written. I am going through attachment issues myself at the moment. It can be very demoralising that your breast can't make your baby content. Try to hold onto the fact that you are producing the milk with love (although it is frustrating) and it's your milk in the bottle that makes her content.

I found a website called Kellymom which talks about breast refusal and one point it made was that it isn't because they don't want to feed, or prefer the bottle it's simply they can't at this point. This made a difference to how I see DS. I was also having some negative thoughts about my bub until I read more about breast refusal.

I completely understand the feed cycle that you are on as it is identical to mine. It's hard to juggle everything and it's time consuming. If you look up one of my threads where I posted today I have written my new approach to the cycle which is a bit time saving.

I so understand the frustration of the pump. I feel shackled down by it and has impacted on my enjoyment of life which is normally to be out and about. A few weeks ago I actually threw the pump funnel and bottles across the floor and just cried. Somehow I have come to a place where I accept my current lot (although this might change). For me working out how to do the cycle hands free, double pumping and learning to bottle feed all at t he same time has really made a difference to how I feel.

I'm glad you have an appointment to get your bub looked at and I hope that this will produce improvement for you. Try to keep your chin up you are doing a fabulous job and many would have understandably moved on from trying to BF at this point.