Mel, I just want to remind you of how hard you tried with both of your girls. You gave bfing a 'good shot' with both of them and did what you could. Bfing is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and it did not come naturally at all with either of my babies. Both times my nipples bled and chafed and the first 6ish weeks with both of them was horrible. With Lily especially. Like you I did everything I could to help us, but it just didn't work 100%. She had slight jaundice and was just a lazy sucker, plus the trauma of birth did absolutely nothing to help us as I was so sick afterwards and we were both doped up on pethdine. I let the nurses give her a bottle and it just seems that it all made such a big difference, I think so anyway. If you remember I combine fed her. It was all just so stressful and horrible for those first 12ish weeks. I put too much pressure on myself and felt so guilty. But I saw the LC's, expressed, took drugs tot ry to help, fed round the clock....but it just wasnt' to be. Now I look back and see how hard I really did try and how difficult it all was.

The things I did differently with Liam was that I was more relaxed about it. His birth was wonderful. No drugs, not as much blood loss from me (so I was alot stronger). I had decided If I had have had to give him a bottle I would and do it without guilt, stress or worry. It ended up being that he was a champion feeder though. We did a bit of a breast crawl at birth he suckled for ages then. And I co slept from birth. Literally. The midwives would come in and say 'You shouldn't be sleeping with him...' I would say 'I'm feeding him and then I will put him to bed'. But I never did. In those early days this made a huge difference. He fed every 2-3 hours, so I just slept with him. I got more rest (not necessarily sleep, but I didn't sit up and try to keep my eyes open all that time like I did with Lily). He suckled for as long as he wanted at night and it really helped. After the first 3ish months, it was so nice to bf. I saw an LC a few times with him too. She helped with a few attachment issues which helped with the nipple pains. I also fed him when he wanted where ever he wanted, to hell with anyone who had issues. With Lil I was realy shy and gave her bottles when I knew we were going out or to places I might 'offend' people.
Good luck babe. We are all here to try to help. No matter how you do it, remember you're a great mummy to your little ladies and I have no doubt you will put your heart and soul into doing whats best for you all when baby comes.