Hi all. I am due ti have dd3 any time form now and am looking for some tips to prepare myself for bf. Here is a bit of background....
DD1... toungue tied... snipped on day 3.... poor attachment, even poor with nipple shield. Didnt gain much weight, very bad nappy rash. Decided it wasnt working after 6 weeks. Changed to ff, nappy rash cleared in 24 hours.
DD2.... loads of milk, poor attacher both with and without shield. Lost lots of weight so ebm and tried to continue bfing. She also had bad nappy rah with my milk too (both little bums bled). Only stuck it out 3 weeks with her as dd1 was 19 months old and mentally I wasnt coping with 2 kids and having to bf, express, etc....
Now dd3 is due and I really would like to give it a good shot. I was wondering if there was anything I could do to prepare my boobs before birth and any other tips you may have for me. I am going to try a breast crawl at birth this time and loads of skin to skin and self attatching, especially while I am at hospital.
I really hope I can do it this time, but I am also aware of my mental health and having 2 other children to look after.
A great start is remembering that every child is different, stay calm and remember to ask for professional help.
Wanting skin to skin contact is a great start, i didn't get this with DD1 and had all sorts of troubles with her attaching and feeding, DD2 was still difficult but i think that skin to skin with her made a HUGE difference.
Remember to try different feeding positions, whatever is most comfortable for you.
I am sure other BB ladies will come in and give you better advice but well done for making the effort... it's not an easy journey.. hopefully you get the chance to enjoy it for as long as possible.
Thanks... I forgot to add that with both I went to lactation day stay.... didnt really help much. I am thinking maybe getting someone to come out and watch me. I dont care ow much it cost, just hope it is successful this time around!
in hosp with both girls i had to ask, ask, ask and ask again until we found our groove, find a good nipple cream, shields JIC. speak to your local MCHN and ask for any info or local consultants they can recommend.. maybe get an ABA membership if you don't already?
An LC is a great idea, especially one who comes to you and Im sure there are ladies on here who can recommend some for you. Try to remember that both you and bub are learning together on how to feed. Bubs mouths are usually so tiny that a little tweak in attachment can make a huge difference. I remember someone recommending a rolled up towel under my ginormous bbs and it made a big difference. Also for me just moving bubs head slightly so their nose was pointed a bit differently changed feed time from painful to normal for me. Program the ABA number to your phone, ask for help, you have BB and many wonderful almost LC's on here to assist as well - I really hope you have a great feeding experience this time around! xoxo
DS was born by c/s as was DD but with him we just lay him on my chest and he sniffed his way around cuddling for about 30 mins and then with a wee bit of assistance as I was still flat on my back he attached and we didn't look back for 17 mths! It was just lovely, we had a few issues along the way but again with ABA and BB support we made it through. Good luck!
Also Id say get educated on it as much as you possibly can. Education is the key. As we tend to trust those who 'should' know 'better'. Being told they're 'hungry' etc is usually what they like to say, and in many cases its just not true but we trust the CHN etc as we dont know any better
If we educate ourselves on things like breastfeeding we'll be more successful with it
ZF- Is right in saying every baby is different so go into it with a clean slate!
Hi
Are you a member of the ABA? If not, I'd advise joining and getting along to some of your local meetings if you can. It's a great way to get advice and support from teh counsellors and other mums in your area. they also have breastfeedign classes that you might find helpful. The other thing you can do with an ABA counsellor or LC is to debreif your previous experiences - it might be really helpful to talk it through and have a think about different ways to handle problems if they arise again.
Definitely line up an LC in your area who can come to your home. Barb Glare may be able to recomend someone for you in you PM her. Otherwise the ABA can often recommend some too.
Good luck to you! Remember to come back here also if you need any support
Mel, I just want to remind you of how hard you tried with both of your girls. You gave bfing a 'good shot' with both of them and did what you could. Bfing is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and it did not come naturally at all with either of my babies. Both times my nipples bled and chafed and the first 6ish weeks with both of them was horrible. With Lily especially. Like you I did everything I could to help us, but it just didn't work 100%. She had slight jaundice and was just a lazy sucker, plus the trauma of birth did absolutely nothing to help us as I was so sick afterwards and we were both doped up on pethdine. I let the nurses give her a bottle and it just seems that it all made such a big difference, I think so anyway. If you remember I combine fed her. It was all just so stressful and horrible for those first 12ish weeks. I put too much pressure on myself and felt so guilty. But I saw the LC's, expressed, took drugs tot ry to help, fed round the clock....but it just wasnt' to be. Now I look back and see how hard I really did try and how difficult it all was.
The things I did differently with Liam was that I was more relaxed about it. His birth was wonderful. No drugs, not as much blood loss from me (so I was alot stronger). I had decided If I had have had to give him a bottle I would and do it without guilt, stress or worry. It ended up being that he was a champion feeder though. We did a bit of a breast crawl at birth he suckled for ages then. And I co slept from birth. Literally. The midwives would come in and say 'You shouldn't be sleeping with him...' I would say 'I'm feeding him and then I will put him to bed'. But I never did. In those early days this made a huge difference. He fed every 2-3 hours, so I just slept with him. I got more rest (not necessarily sleep, but I didn't sit up and try to keep my eyes open all that time like I did with Lily). He suckled for as long as he wanted at night and it really helped. After the first 3ish months, it was so nice to bf. I saw an LC a few times with him too. She helped with a few attachment issues which helped with the nipple pains. I also fed him when he wanted where ever he wanted, to hell with anyone who had issues. With Lil I was realy shy and gave her bottles when I knew we were going out or to places I might 'offend' people.
Good luck babe. We are all here to try to help. No matter how you do it, remember you're a great mummy to your little ladies and I have no doubt you will put your heart and soul into doing whats best for you all when baby comes.
The posts above have given great advice. I wish someone had told me though about preparing my nipples before DD was born. We struggled at the beginning in hospital, I was cracked and bleeding and in pain. But the nurse suggested using Lansinol Nipple Cream and within a day of me starting that, things turned around. You can use it before you give birth and I really wish I had've known it. Made life so much easier and comfortable for both DD and I!!
Thanks girls i really appreciate feedback/info to help me out. I will be going to the ABA drop in sessions next week and having a chat with them. I like the idea of loads of skin to skin contact and letting bub find her own way to my breast. My MCHN suggested that I strengthen my nipples by I dont know how to explain butkind of like milking them from about 37 weeks.... then I got conflicting advice from the mids at the birth centre.... so not too sure on that one! I might do it anyway as it wont do too much harm. Going to get some Lansinol cream too. I might email the LC in my area because I am wondering when is the best time after birth to get her to comeover. I dont want to wait until it becomes a major problem and my head is in the wrong space. I need to be positive about it and quickly!!!
I'll let you know how I go!
You don't need to toughen your nipples up Speak to the ABA or the LC about that sort of thing if you're not sure.
I hope your local ABA group is good and you get lots of support there. Figuring things out with the LC in advance is an excellent idea too
My biggest tip would be to make sure you ask for help whenever you need it!! I absolutely hounded the MW's while I was in hospital with DD to make sure we got attachment right. Definitely look into an LC and have their number on hand just in case you need them, the ABA is always there and so are all these gorgeous BB women as well! I hope it is all smooth sailing for you this time
Minimatron - good on you for getting organised beforehand! I recently did the same thing in terms of trying to prepare for success, and I actually engaged the LC PRIOR to birth (there's a long thread about it here). I'm more than happy to PM you details of my LC if you'd like - I'm not sure if she does your area but you could always ask. Also, we did a breastfeeding plan prior to birth also (another link here), at my LC's suggestion, and it really helped me to focus on the concrete things we wanted to do.
Prior to doing the plan, I jotted down all my thoughts about BF'ing and what did/didn't work for us first time around (and what I'd learnt from reading here)... plus we went to an ABA BF'ing class at Dandenong which I thought was great. In our particular session there were 4 mums-to-be, 3 of whom had already tried BF'ing... so lots of discussion about what to do differently this time. I also took DH with me, and we both were surprised at what we learnt. I must admit that initially I think I'd thought that breast crawling & skin-to-skin would be the secrets to our success, but in the end they weren't what got us there. I will say having an LC from before birth who was on board immediately was a MASSIVE help. I had forgotten how much contradictory information you receive in hospital, including helpful gems such as "you'll never feed with those nipples" and "oh that's not enough colostrum, you'll need to give her formula". I could not have done it without my LC, and I am very very proud to be able to say that we're now BF'ing exclusively (with a nipple shield), so with good prep, you can give yourself the best possible chance! I'm sending you good vibes for a great breastfeeding relationship this time around!!!
i would also like to thankyou for starting this thread too as i only got to BF my DS for 2weeks and then i gave up and went to bottle feeding as the midwife's really werent there to help me at all and i being a first time mum had NO IDEA how to attach even though i had read ALOT of bf before i had him but it still was over powering to me
I guess it didnt help i lived with my mum and she naged and nagged to feed him which wasnt helping when i had a trauma of a birth and didnt get my milk for 3 days and he didnt want to attach properly or even suck long enough to drain me
This time im staying positive, im in a different program with the same midwife through my pregnancy & birth and im hoping we too can have a successful BF story at the end of it even if i only last 6 months i'd still be really happy with those results!
Goodluck and i look forward to followin your journey
BellyBelly Life Member - Love all your MCN friends
Jun 2004
The Festival State
3,008
here's some brainstorming (most likely will include thigns already mentioning in previous posts)
- join local ABA group whilst pregnant (go along to meetings, you'll learn heaps just by being there)
- take out subscription to ABA and buy their calendar (the wonderful photos were like a personal cheer squad to me, looking at me on the kitchen wall). The wonderful magazine ESSENCE arrives in your letterbox every two months, i read it cover to cover, so helpful.
- do the ABA couples course (three hour seminar when you're in third trimester)
- buy lanolin from health food shop or chemist. after shower, when your body is warm from the hot water and you're relaxed, use a pea sized bit on lanolin and massage your nipples with the lanolin, it felt like massaging scone dough to me LOL.
- have a few pair of supportive maternity bras
- get some breastfeeding tops e.g nuvo maternity, so feeding around others is easy, it relaxed me, knowing my tum was covered, instead of struggling with normal tshirts
- be really firm with whoever is birthing you, that you want the birth crawl.
- you might want to minimise visitors in first month, so you can have lots of naked skin to skin with your bub, getting your bf-ing established without interruptions from visitors.
- get automatic orders/home delivery of basic food goods - or standard orders which someone you know will go pick up - so you spend less time on errands - no doubt with two other kids, there will be things you can' avoid, but anything you CAN avoid, try to automate it. To optimise the amount of low stress time you get with nb, to get feeding happening.
- find and bookmark helpful websites like bb, la leche league, kellymom and aba
- discover who are the private lactation consulants in your area. Ring up and ask your questions, e.g if bulk billing is crucial, find out which ones do this. Program the numbers into your phone or print them up for a sheet on the fridge.
- get a really comfy supportive chair to breastfeed in. get a bag of spuds that weighs 5kg. have that in your arms as you sit in that chair. I had incredible back strain from bf-ing, i wish i had a supportive chair to feed in. tried a rocking chair but that was not helpful.
- have a travel mug (thermal). like you have in a car. so you can have a hot drink while you bresatfeed, without the worry of spilling the hot drink on your baby.
- remember that in hospital, every shift, you will get a different midwife, telling you a different way to breastfeed. i found this very confusing and unhelpful. i found ONE constant person advising me, was MUCH better (the midwife i saw thru my pregnancy and for the six weeks post birth).
- when you need help with bf-ing, you need it FAST. So be pro=active, rather than reactive with any issues. Don't wait for stuff to go wrong. Make contact and get help immed. Even if all the LC does is watch you and do a thumbs up - the money is worth it. Especially cos you have tried twice already, i would imagine you need all the postive encouragement you can get. So i would encourage you to see the LC as soon as possible, after the birth. Hell, even BEFORE the birth, to talk you through what to do with the FIRST feed.
- get your partner to make boxes of snacks to leave for you in the fridge. Stuff you can either grab the box, and breastfeed, using one hand to grab mouthfuls from the box.
- have a box that you sit down next to, to breastfeed. Have everything in that box, so that instead of having to get up when phone rings, when you need a tissue etc, you'll have what you need at your arm's reach.
for example
tissues
phone
lip balm
toys/books for your other two
snacks for you
snacks for them
mop up cloth e.g nappy
breastpads
spare wrap for baby
spare top for you
facewasher, hand towel (you can roll it up, to prop up baby to get their mouth at the right height for your nipple)
tv remote
baby wipes
getting the LC to help you with the positioning of the baby, to get the latch happening - all stuff that is best learn "in situ"
Seeing and making contact with the LC while you're pregnant, will mean you will get to know her, she will already know what you've been through (if you fill her in on your previous experiences beforehand), then in teh whirly burly of having a nb, you won't have to regurgitate all that history to her (when you may not be in a fit state to remember and re-tell your first two bf-ing experiences). Being aware of your first two experiences, she can talk you thru tongue tie concerns (what happened last time, what might be done this time instead) and be an advocate for you, if needed.
LC will help you anytime. the local hospital Lactation Centre near me, only helps mums from birth to when baby is ten weeks old. My friend had her baby experience bf-ing issues when baby was 12 weeks old - so Lactation centre woudln't help them.
i needed LC help when my child got quite a few teeth - she was much older than 10 weeks old. I needed to be taught how to position baby (in my arms), what direction to have her head in, all the stuff about the back palette (in her MOuth) that i had been taught at the ABA 3rd trimester seminar - but there was such a long time gap between when i learnt it, and when i needed it - i had forgotten! needed to be taught again. You need info at different times.
it took me and my nb four months to "get the hang of it", for ages, my only commitment was "i can only say i'm doing this for the next 24 hours" - cos i coudln't see myself doing it any longer than that. but somehow we got past that.
LC's have lots of ideas. there are multiple ways to bf. i have met mums who have exclusively expressed, cos the latch didn't happen, but their bub still received their breastmilk.
to me it was the biggest lucky dip. LIke you, i went into it positively, tried to prepare, but really, until it all happened, i had no idea if my body would produce milk, whether my bub would be a good little sucker etc - i consider us very lucky that we got it to work - although it took four months to feel easier to do. My bub is now self weaning (she'll be four in Nov), and to think i never thought we would even get to four weeks! The health benefits to her have been enormous, i have seen plenty of evidence of the wonderful things it has done for her immune system.
no ideas about feeding #3 when you have two other little darlings who need you simulataneously. all i can think of is - automate bills and food shopping. Maybe ask LC how to manage the other two, whilst tryign to establish bf-ing. At first, most nbs feed often as their bladders are so tiny, so you need to be available often, for baby to feed.
Maybe a baby carrier, to wear your baby, so you can feed whilst upright when you need/choose to?
Breastfed bubs put on weight at a different rate to formula fed bubs, so don't worry what the MCH nurses say, at first few weigh ins. Your bub will catch up and it's entirely normal.
when people say "what can i do to help" - really take them up on that.
e.g
well, it would really help me out/i would love if you would
"bring me one casserole a week for the freezer"
"walk the dog once a week"
"pick up my fruit and veg order once a week"
"clean the bathroom"
"take the kids to kindy/childcare/school for the first week/fortnight/month"
- or some people would rather give you a voucher to pay for a cleaner
(these practical things will help you establish bf-ing more than another teddy bear or onesie suit).
You are already being very pro-active, by asking for tips now, you're giving yourself the best chance by doing that, being positive.
Whether you feed your baby for three minutes or three years, it's still breastfeeding.
Whether you feed your baby with a pipette (the colostrum), a bottle or your nipple, it's still your milk.
(I want you to think about MANY ways to achieve your goal, there is not ONLY one way - i hope that frees you hon).
The attachment they tell you in hospital is "correct" and THE way they should look/feel/sit while attached for us was totally incorrect.
What I mean is, Charlotte didn't like it, it was hideously uncomfortable, was not effective, led to huge nipple issue for me and caused her to take forever to feed and be iritable.
So we worked with the basics (understanding the mechanics and anatomy of HOW they feed, so where the nipple needs to end up in their mouth), what they showed us, and adapted it to suit how she was comfortable and clearly feeding well. Which as I said, turned out to be in such a way I was told it was "incorrect".
My nipples cleared up straight away, she was fuss free feeder, fed easily, quickly and we went on to feed using "incorrect attachment" for over 2 years and seven months.
My point is, be prepared that the correct way may not be the correct way for you. Make sure you watch your bub and follow her lead - breastfeeding shouldnt't hurt or be uncomfortable (the first few times it is lol but every feed, after the first few days should not) so if it is, play around until you are both comfy. Don't be scared you are going to get bubs into "bad habits" or "confuse" them, honestly, you will find a rhythm that works for both of you within days if you are both comfy.
Try different holds, with and without pillows and different ways to get bubs to attach until you find a system that works for you both, and keep in mind that that may change as she gets older, develops further and you both get more comfortable and used to the whole process.
Hope that makes sense, if it doesn't now, that 3rd day in hospital when you feel you just aren;t getting it, cos it doesn't look how they tell you it should, it will! lol
Good luck with everything!!
Last edited by LimeSlice; September 30th, 2010 at 12:49 PM.
: *missing word = pointless sentence! lol
Preparing myself for bfing.... tips
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