Preparing myself for bfing.... tips

[mummy of 3 boys]

i would also like to thankyou for starting this thread too as i only got to BF my DS for 2weeks and then i gave up and went to bottle feeding as the midwife's really werent there to help me at all and i being a first time mum had NO IDEA how to attach even though i had read ALOT of bf before i had him but it still was over powering to me

I guess it didnt help i lived with my mum and she naged and nagged to feed him which wasnt helping when i had a trauma of a birth and didnt get my milk for 3 days and he didnt want to attach properly or even suck long enough to drain me

This time im staying positive, im in a different program with the same midwife through my pregnancy & birth and im hoping we too can have a successful BF story at the end of it even if i only last 6 months i'd still be really happy with those results!

Goodluck and i look forward to followin your journey

[Gigi]

here's some brainstorming (most likely will include thigns already mentioning in previous posts)

- join local ABA group whilst pregnant (go along to meetings, you'll learn heaps just by being there)

- take out subscription to ABA and buy their calendar (the wonderful photos were like a personal cheer squad to me, looking at me on the kitchen wall). The wonderful magazine ESSENCE arrives in your letterbox every two months, i read it cover to cover, so helpful.

- do the ABA couples course (three hour seminar when you're in third trimester)

- buy lanolin from health food shop or chemist. after shower, when your body is warm from the hot water and you're relaxed, use a pea sized bit on lanolin and massage your nipples with the lanolin, it felt like massaging scone dough to me LOL.

- have a few pair of supportive maternity bras

- get some breastfeeding tops e.g nuvo maternity, so feeding around others is easy, it relaxed me, knowing my tum was covered, instead of struggling with normal tshirts

- be really firm with whoever is birthing you, that you want the birth crawl.

- you might want to minimise visitors in first month, so you can have lots of naked skin to skin with your bub, getting your bf-ing established without interruptions from visitors.

- get automatic orders/home delivery of basic food goods - or standard orders which someone you know will go pick up - so you spend less time on errands - no doubt with two other kids, there will be things you can' avoid, but anything you CAN avoid, try to automate it. To optimise the amount of low stress time you get with nb, to get feeding happening.

- find and bookmark helpful websites like bb, la leche league, kellymom and aba

- discover who are the private lactation consulants in your area. Ring up and ask your questions, e.g if bulk billing is crucial, find out which ones do this. Program the numbers into your phone or print them up for a sheet on the fridge.

- get a really comfy supportive chair to breastfeed in. get a bag of spuds that weighs 5kg. have that in your arms as you sit in that chair. I had incredible back strain from bf-ing, i wish i had a supportive chair to feed in. tried a rocking chair but that was not helpful.

- have a travel mug (thermal). like you have in a car. so you can have a hot drink while you bresatfeed, without the worry of spilling the hot drink on your baby.

- remember that in hospital, every shift, you will get a different midwife, telling you a different way to breastfeed. i found this very confusing and unhelpful. i found ONE constant person advising me, was MUCH better (the midwife i saw thru my pregnancy and for the six weeks post birth).

- when you need help with bf-ing, you need it FAST. So be pro=active, rather than reactive with any issues. Don't wait for stuff to go wrong. Make contact and get help immed. Even if all the LC does is watch you and do a thumbs up - the money is worth it. Especially cos you have tried twice already, i would imagine you need all the postive encouragement you can get. So i would encourage you to see the LC as soon as possible, after the birth. Hell, even BEFORE the birth, to talk you through what to do with the FIRST feed.

- get your partner to make boxes of snacks to leave for you in the fridge. Stuff you can either grab the box, and breastfeed, using one hand to grab mouthfuls from the box.

- have a box that you sit down next to, to breastfeed. Have everything in that box, so that instead of having to get up when phone rings, when you need a tissue etc, you'll have what you need at your arm's reach.
for example
tissues
phone
lip balm
toys/books for your other two
snacks for you
snacks for them
mop up cloth e.g nappy
breastpads
spare wrap for baby
spare top for you
facewasher, hand towel (you can roll it up, to prop up baby to get their mouth at the right height for your nipple)
tv remote
baby wipes



getting the LC to help you with the positioning of the baby, to get the latch happening - all stuff that is best learn "in situ"

Seeing and making contact with the LC while you're pregnant, will mean you will get to know her, she will already know what you've been through (if you fill her in on your previous experiences beforehand), then in teh whirly burly of having a nb, you won't have to regurgitate all that history to her (when you may not be in a fit state to remember and re-tell your first two bf-ing experiences). Being aware of your first two experiences, she can talk you thru tongue tie concerns (what happened last time, what might be done this time instead) and be an advocate for you, if needed.

LC will help you anytime. the local hospital Lactation Centre near me, only helps mums from birth to when baby is ten weeks old. My friend had her baby experience bf-ing issues when baby was 12 weeks old - so Lactation centre woudln't help them.

i needed LC help when my child got quite a few teeth - she was much older than 10 weeks old. I needed to be taught how to position baby (in my arms), what direction to have her head in, all the stuff about the back palette (in her MOuth) that i had been taught at the ABA 3rd trimester seminar - but there was such a long time gap between when i learnt it, and when i needed it - i had forgotten! needed to be taught again. You need info at different times.

it took me and my nb four months to "get the hang of it", for ages, my only commitment was "i can only say i'm doing this for the next 24 hours" - cos i coudln't see myself doing it any longer than that. but somehow we got past that.

LC's have lots of ideas. there are multiple ways to bf. i have met mums who have exclusively expressed, cos the latch didn't happen, but their bub still received their breastmilk.

to me it was the biggest lucky dip. LIke you, i went into it positively, tried to prepare, but really, until it all happened, i had no idea if my body would produce milk, whether my bub would be a good little sucker etc - i consider us very lucky that we got it to work - although it took four months to feel easier to do. My bub is now self weaning (she'll be four in Nov), and to think i never thought we would even get to four weeks! The health benefits to her have been enormous, i have seen plenty of evidence of the wonderful things it has done for her immune system.

no ideas about feeding #3 when you have two other little darlings who need you simulataneously. all i can think of is - automate bills and food shopping. Maybe ask LC how to manage the other two, whilst tryign to establish bf-ing. At first, most nbs feed often as their bladders are so tiny, so you need to be available often, for baby to feed.

Maybe a baby carrier, to wear your baby, so you can feed whilst upright when you need/choose to?

Breastfed bubs put on weight at a different rate to formula fed bubs, so don't worry what the MCH nurses say, at first few weigh ins. Your bub will catch up and it's entirely normal.

when people say "what can i do to help" - really take them up on that.
e.g
well, it would really help me out/i would love if you would
"bring me one casserole a week for the freezer"
"walk the dog once a week"
"pick up my fruit and veg order once a week"
"clean the bathroom"
"take the kids to kindy/childcare/school for the first week/fortnight/month"
- or some people would rather give you a voucher to pay for a cleaner
(these practical things will help you establish bf-ing more than another teddy bear or onesie suit).

You are already being very pro-active, by asking for tips now, you're giving yourself the best chance by doing that, being positive.

Whether you feed your baby for three minutes or three years, it's still breastfeeding.
Whether you feed your baby with a pipette (the colostrum), a bottle or your nipple, it's still your milk.
(I want you to think about MANY ways to achieve your goal, there is not ONLY one way - i hope that frees you hon).

i wish you all the best.

[LimeSlice]

The attachment they tell you in hospital is "correct" and THE way they should look/feel/sit while attached for us was totally incorrect.

What I mean is, Charlotte didn't like it, it was hideously uncomfortable, was not effective, led to huge nipple issue for me and caused her to take forever to feed and be iritable.

So we worked with the basics (understanding the mechanics and anatomy of HOW they feed, so where the nipple needs to end up in their mouth), what they showed us, and adapted it to suit how she was comfortable and clearly feeding well. Which as I said, turned out to be in such a way I was told it was "incorrect".
My nipples cleared up straight away, she was fuss free feeder, fed easily, quickly and we went on to feed using "incorrect attachment" for over 2 years and seven months.

My point is, be prepared that the correct way may not be the correct way for you. Make sure you watch your bub and follow her lead - breastfeeding shouldnt't hurt or be uncomfortable (the first few times it is lol but every feed, after the first few days should not) so if it is, play around until you are both comfy. Don't be scared you are going to get bubs into "bad habits" or "confuse" them, honestly, you will find a rhythm that works for both of you within days if you are both comfy.

Try different holds, with and without pillows and different ways to get bubs to attach until you find a system that works for you both, and keep in mind that that may change as she gets older, develops further and you both get more comfortable and used to the whole process.

Hope that makes sense, if it doesn't now, that 3rd day in hospital when you feel you just aren;t getting it, cos it doesn't look how they tell you it should, it will! lol
Good luck with everything!!

[minimatron]

Thank you thank you thank you for all the wonderful tips. I will take them on board and lets see how I go. I do feel quite positive

[minimatron]

Just an update... I am meeting with a lactation consultant today to do a birth plan Thanks Belfie for the info, I am using someone a bit closer to home. Looking forwad to it though

[belfie]

Just an update... I am meeting with a lactation consultant today to do a birth plan Thanks Belfie for the info, I am using someone a bit closer to home. Looking forwad to it though

That's great Melissa! Having someone convenient does help - especially afterwards when you're trying to time it with feeds. All the best, I look forward to seeing the updates

[Kazbah]

And I joined up to ABA yesterday

[HotI]

Best wishes!