Aw WW massive to you.

Firstly - breastfeeding can be so so hard. I really struggled at first. I remember each time DS would attach I would grab onto DH and literally scream. It was agony. I'm sure you have tried nipple shields as it sounds like you have tried everything.

Breastfeeding is important and great if you can do it but it will never be worth it if it destroys your joy for your child, your body or your sanity. Your child will get more out of a happy, relaxed and healthy mum than she will from the breastmilk. So please, if you make the decision that breastfeeding is not right for you, you mustn't beat yourself up over it.

To be honest with you it sounds like you have well and trulygone beyond the call and noone would blame you if you made the decision to discontinue breastfeeding. Quite simply, your health is suffering and for most women it is not the case.

As for the PND, man I know where you're coming from. I was so miserable and I feel I missed out on a lot of joy for myself. I'm glad you are seeing someone about it.

Also realise that (someone said this to me in relation to PND) the LTTTC journey tends to set mums up with huge expectations of motherhood, and it's a massive crash when it doesn't go to plan. Be gentle to yourself and give yourself credit for all that you've achieved to date.

Much love to you darl, hang in there you are doing an amazing job xx