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Thread: Bad mother for choosing C Section

  1. #19

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    I think that you just need to do what will work out best for you and bub. If they have offered you a c/s then they must think it would be beneficial for you to have it, over a vaginal birth.

    The people that will criticise you the most are probably the ones who havent been in your situation.


  2. #20

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    I think every woman is entitled to their own decision and shouldn't be made to feel bad for making the decision they make, as others have said providing its their own decision. Just as one woman shouldn't be made to feel bad for chosing a c/s another shouldn't be made to feel bad for choosing a vbac. You need to do whats right for you, and how your child is born does not determine what kind of mother you are, its how you treat your child that makes a difference. I say poo poo to anyone who says that kind of rubbish!

    *hugs*
    Cailin

  3. #21

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    I had a normal straight forward natural delvery with my first son. I fully expected to have another natural delivery with my 2nd but due to GD (gestational diabetes) we were told the baby was quite large and I would need a c/s. I kept saying I didn't want one how could I avoid it ect ect.. My waters broke at 37 weeks ( 2 hours before my ant app to discuss birthing choices) I was given the option then to deliver naturally or go and have a c/s. After weighing up the risks of going for a natural we chose a c/s. 2 hours later son numer 2 was here and healthy. That didn't last though, 12 hours after Isaac was born he started having breathing issues and seizures. Finally after 16 long stressful days we got to bring him home... Thankfully he is now a healthy 3 year old with no on going issues.. When we became pregnant with son number 3 there was no question. I was not going to risk anything. I even had to have a mini spit with a midwife about my choice but I knew what was best... If we had gone for a natural with Isaac he may not be here and I wasn't going to risk anything just to have a natural delivery. Everything went fine for the 2nd c/s and apart from Jacob having low blood sugars from me having GD he was healthy. He came home on day 4

    Good luck and go with what your heart is saying.. listen to intuition. oh and I recovered so much fatser from my 2nd c/s then the first. I recovered very well from the first but I knew what to expect 2nd time round

  4. #22

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    Well, If I am a bad mother for having an elective C Section with NO medical reason.....Then so be it!!!!
    I wouldnt change my decision for the world....I am a healthy happy mum who has a very healthy happy baby. I had a very straight foreward smooth, pleasant birth experience, and I am so glad I didnt have to suffer .....It doesnt matter how you "birth" your baby....Its the end result that matters....I say do what you want, its your body, your decision...If anyone has to negatively comment about it, then obviously they are jealous, and need to get a grip on modern technology; why suffer if you dont have to? Would you let a dog suffer in pain? NO!
    Good luck with it all...All the best xxx

  5. #23

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    Rachel

    I have had 3 c/s. With DD#1 it was an emergency c/s due to PE and GD. With DD#2, myself, DH and OB discussed it and it was decided that bubs would be a little on the large side so it would be safer to have another c/s, she was only 7lb 5ozs but almost 3w early. I changed OBs for DD#3 and he asked me early on how I would like to have this baby. I chose c/s, mainly for my own benefit, as I like having things planned and having other kids to look after I needed to know when I would have my baby. Things didnt go to plan though, I went into premature labour, my waters broke and a c/s was the best for me. Despite all the dramas that went with it, I never once regretted my decision and if I had the chance all over again, c/s is my choice.

    I dont care that people think its the wrong way, I am a bad mother etc...I know that my decision is the best for me and my baby. A happy Mum = a happy baby!

    Never feel like you are a bad Mum for your choices. You do whatever you want!

  6. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by EllyBoo72 View Post
    why suffer if you dont have to? Would you let a dog suffer in pain? NO!
    That's why there are many options for pain relief for women who have a vaginal birth - a VB does not necessarily mean heaps of pain and suffering. Just wanted to add that - not having a go or anything.

  7. #25

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    need to get a grip on modern technology
    I wonder if people who drank radium water for their health all those years ago told everyone to get a grip on their modern science breakthroughs?

    why suffer if you dont have to?
    c/s aren't always smooth sailing tho. There can be terrible complications with any kind of surgery. I personally trust the ancient art of letting my body give birth, and certainly embrace modern medical intervention if/when complications arise. I'm not inclined to put both mine and my baby's life in the hands of a doctor unless it becomes necessary.

    I'm afraid I'm one of those that would feel terribly cheated of a vaginal birth if it came to a c/s. When told bub was breech, I was devestated that at my next visit we were to discuss a c/s. Thankfully he turned, and we had a vaginal delivery.

    That's just how I feel tho A client of mine had 3 elective c/s, coz as she said "I was too chicken to go through labour". I personally believe she is braver than I would ever be.. I'm terrified of c/s! LOL.

  8. #26

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    Girls, I was just stating my opinion and support to Rachelmason....I wasnt after advice about MY thoughts and opinions or to feel the need to justify them, otherwise I would have started my own thread and I totally respect YOUR decisions for a Natural Childbirth....Each to their own.
    Last edited by EllyBoo72; October 16th, 2006 at 02:42 PM.

  9. #27

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    Aww c'mon Ally.. no fisty cuffs? It's funny tho, the way you feel about vaginal birth (why suffer if you don't have to) is exactly how I feel about c/s. hehe.

    I don't doubt that everyone makes the decision that's right for them. But as was said earlier, it needs to be an informed one. Electing abdominal surgery is a big decision. Wouldn't like to see people electing it thinking it's a way of getting around the 'suffering', coz it doesn't always work out that way. Just the same as some people pop out babies naturally without a worry, while others have complications.

  10. #28

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    Exactly LIz, I totally agree.....Honestly, my decision was not made lightly at all, I even spent years deciding, before i even fell pregnant....There are many reasons why pple elect for cs, and I can guarantee, medical or not, they arent taken lightly!!

  11. #29

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    Hi Rachel,

    I think if you're asking to know 'what people really think', you often will get answers that both support and contradict your decision. But whether or not you feel these opinions affect your confidence in your decision is the real issue.

    Many of the decisions I have made while pg, during childbirth or in raising my son have been criticised, questioned and frowned upon. But I hold no guilt, I withstand any pressure, and I know I do what is right for me and my son, because I make infomed decisions. If you are confident in your decision, whatever it is, that's all there is to it. No one else's opinions should matter.

  12. #30

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    The risk of miscarriage from an amnio is higher than a uterine rupture from VBAC which I think is important to point out. There are also LESS risks in regards to the anaesthetics and surgery involved including infection, staph etc. Even a first time mum can rupture as a result of an induction or a caesarean - having a c/s doesnt mean you escape the risk of rupture altogether. There is more risk in the more caesars alone you have that you will more likely have a hysterectomy, hemorrhage etc - the figures jump significantly every time. I am not debating but pointing out a few things which are not going to be considered especially in studies like above which dont include other things like hysterectomy etc in future pregs.

    I do think that people will give their opinon to you on all maters, birth and parenting which aren't always what you want to hear, I copped lots for my choices even from family, but its just what you choose to do with that information. You can choose to be angry about it or just accept that is their view based on their experiences and ignore it. We choose how we feel about it. We could reduce so much 'mother guilt' if we chose different ways to deal with things and swept comments like that under the carpet. If we believe its the best choice for us why worry?
    Kelly xx

    Creator of BellyBelly.com.au, doula, writer and mother of three amazing children
    Author of Want To Be A Doula? Everything You Need To Know
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    Forever grateful to my incredible Mod Team and many wonderful members who have been so supportive since 2003.

  13. #31

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    Ally I totally respect your birth choice, I just wanted to make the point that VB can be pain-free too

    I am also one of those women that find the idea of a c/s a bit scary, but I would never question anyone else's choices. I am a big believer in informed choice when it comes to pregnancy, birth and everything after!

  14. #32

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    All is good Bon! I am interested in discussing Pain releif etc...but I thought it might take over this thread a bit..... I really do want to hear about those good stories....I might start another thread

  15. #33

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    Wow, thank you all so much for your thoughts. I never expected to get such a response! I find it really interesting to read peoples opinions on here as they are so much more informed than people who decide to spontaniously give you unwanted advice (even from people with no children). I do have a question though, somebody said "I'm not inclined to put both mine and my baby's life in the hands of a doctor unless it becomes necessary." I thought that a C Section was more of a risk for the mother but actually the safer option for the baby - is that not right? FYI...I am doing further research on this but its good to get answers in "laymens" terms on here.

  16. #34

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    Well, it does depend on the circumstances on why the c/s is being done too. I do know that the process of a vaginal birth prepares the baby's lungs better by squeezing the muck out of them.

    There are people wiser than me that can answer that question for you better though.

  17. #35

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    In this article on the main site, it lists some risks of c/s for baby http://www.bellybelly.com.au/article...tually-happens

  18. #36

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    I thought a straightforward vaginal birth was the safest for both mother and baby. When I say straightforward I mean one without complications. I am sure I read that somewhere...but then I don't know for sure.

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