I wouldn't say I achieved an empowered caesarean (I have had 3 now) but I must say a few things that I did with my third that I believed helped me to bond a little better where;
* I was the first to touch my baby without gloves and before he was cleaned so we was still gooey
* My DP got to cut the cord....well not from my belly but once the baby was taken by the paed to the table to be checked they let him cut some of the cord that was still attached to the baby
* Due to lack of staff he was not in recovery with me but they brought him to me right away when I got back to the ward and I put him on the breast to feed straight away
I had no issues with breast feeding but from what I have heard from other woman it seems to be luck with supply and good attachment of the baby because I have had more friends not be able to breastfeed who have had VB than caesreans. You mentioned you BF DD so I dont think you should have any problems if you were to have a caesarean.
A couple of tips if you do have a c/s, TAKE the camera, we were allowed to take heaps of photos of the birth.
Also, if have some time in your hospital room before the c/s make sure you unpack everything and keep things above waist height so you dont need to bend and keep things you think you will need in the first 24hrs in easy reach from the hospital bed because they wont let you stand for a good 24hrs (depends on the hospital but I have been to 2 different hospitals and both were about 24hrs)
Good luck , I think getting your head around possibly having a c/s now is a big step towards dealing with it if it happens.
Stay positive it sounds like you are doing everything possible to get that little bubba to turn and I hope it does.
I had an emergency caesar in March. I had desperately hoped to have a drug free, active natural birth. But I ended up being induced at 13 days over, and eventually had an epi, which necessitated the c-section. In some ways I've struggled to come to terms with it all, but for what it's worth here are my reflections 4 months on:
- They showed me the baby the second he was out (held him over the blue sheet). I will always remember that moment!
- They then checked him, wrapped him, and my DH held him next to my head while they kept going (no idea what they were doing at that point LOL)
- I couldn't have him in recovery, but DH went with him and after the nurse bathed him, he did the skin-to-skin contact with him
- I got him back as soon as I went up to the ward
- I kept thinking that if we had been in a third-world country (or hundreds of years ago), we both could easily have died in labour. So that made me very thankful for surgery!
- In terms of the actual surgery, I think the thought of it is worse than the actuality of it. Yes I was sore for a while afterwards, but the thought of being cut open had me really freaked out. But once it had all happened, I was fine.
- TBH, I think that too much gets made of birth sometimes. Yes, it is incredible and all that, and we have in our heads the way we want it (for me it was natural and blissful etc), but that can lead to huge disappointment if it doesn't go quite according to plan.
- Again, while birth is a huge deal, it is only one moment in a baby's life. If for some reason they don't get skin on skin etc etc then while that's not ideal, if they are brought up in a loving and secure home, then it just won't be an issue in their life. I wouldn't have a clue what happened when I was born - and given the times back then it was probably quite 'clinical', but I turned out ok!
- The way in which your baby enters the world has no bearing on your worth as a mother!
On the practical side of things:
- don't forget your grandma undies (all the ones I had taken to hospital had the elastic right over where my cut was) and a really soft tracksuit
- don't be afraid to ask the staff for help with bubs (especially that first night)
- get up and about when you can, but don't overdo it
- be strict with yourself about not lifting anything heavier than your baby
- get some frozen meals in the freezer now so that you don't have to cook
- take some metamucil to hospital!!!!
- I believe (but could well be wrong) they give you antibiotics through your IV to prevent infection - you might want some inner health plus with you
- find out every time you have pain relief what time you can have more, and ask for it if they don't come at that time
- morphine can make you vomit so be careful what you eat post-surgery (I was allowed to eat straight away as I had only had the epi, but let's just say I regretted it later - vomiting was very painful)
- remember, you're going to have a wonderful, beautiful baby!
- my back was very sore for the first 3 weeks after birth. Getting down on the floor lying on my back really helped, but there is an art to getting on and off the floor after c-section. Maybe research this before you go into hospital?
HTH
I hope I'm not coming across as unsympathetic, because this really is an issue that I have been struggling with, but I just wanted to share some of my thoughts 4 months down the track. I hope everything goes really well for you, c-section or otherwise!
I wouldn't call either of mine empowering, so I can't comment on that, but just wanted to say the "no driving for 6 weeks" isn't standard, and check with your insurance company first before assuming its so. My insurance company (AAMI) had nothing in their product disclosure statement (and I rang them to confirm) about any time period after a c-section. So I drove basically straight away. I was in hospital for 5 days for both of mine, and I know for sure I drove that week after being discharged. AAMI were fine with this, as long as I had checked with my doc and gotten permission, which I did the day I checked out. My OB said it was fine for me to drive.
So just wanted to mention that, incase it was a big issue for you
My first was a emergency c-sect and wasn't empowering at all but this time I have spoken to my nurse and doctor and told them if it comes to another c-sect I want bubs put straight on me and not to be taken away from me unless absolutely nessisary and they r fine with what I want and r willing to help me out as best as they can. All I can reccomend is talking to ur birth team (midwives OB, doctors everyone) and make sure they know and can support what u want. Generally I think u will find they will do everything u want provided its safe
I had my second c-sec at a little country hospital, so even though I asked about maternally assisted or parts thereof they were horrified and ruled it out.
After that I knew that there was nothing more to be done about it and how I reacted was my own choice.
I chose to be grateful that my baby was being assisted on his journey. I chose that I wasn't going to feel negative about his birth experience as it wasn't his fault and he didn't get to pick either. I didn't want any negative feelings surrounding what was one of the greatest days of my life - so I didn't let them.
I really try hard to live simply and happily and so this was a continuation of that for me. I know it's not always as easy as it sounds, and I truely wish you well on this journey Beema. I hope she turns for you.
I found that when I had DS I was in more control as I had had a c/s and I knew what to expect etc. I found that in itself empowering.
I also was the first to hold DS without gloves;
I got my skin to skin contact straight away;
And DS came into recovery with me - and he's been with me ever since :-)
Geez, I was even cracking jokes on the table during the c/s ;-)
Practically, it really depends on how you heal after the c/s as to how you'll be impacted in day to day life.
I kept moving, albeit slowly which I found assisted the healing process, but not everyone is as lucky. Though there are a few things you could in preparation like freezing meals; having a busy box to occupy Miss N; I'm sure you can order shopping online to assist in that dept.
As for books - I bought the Sarah Murdoch and Juju Sundin book Birth Skills a pretty good read. (I would lend it to you but I leant it to a friend and I don't want her to get sus on me just yet!). If she brings it over next weekend when I'm due to see her next at DS' b'day I'll let you know :-)
Someone on BB has in there signature 'babies don't care how they got here, they are just happy to be here' or something along those lines. With a 3rd c-section and this time an elective one in Sept this year....those words have helped me over the past week or so look at my past c-sections with pride and as a positive experience. I have also put them on my FB page as a constant reminder.
My OBGYN also said some magic words for my last one after I FTP...'be proud of yourself, you did a wonderful job but it just wasn't to be'. After that, the sun shone for me and I fell in love with my youngest son.
This is my last baby, I can not mentally or emotionally afford to allow it to be anything but a positive experience! That works for me.......
Beema, my CS was both empowering and also deeply healing for me. This is in the context of having asked for a CS for DD2 after a deeply traumatic first VB experience with DD1.
Some of the the things that made a difference to me:
I had a birth plan in place for my C/S - kept it brief & quick to read on a single page. Handed it around and the staff paid me the respect of reading it and also placing a copy in the very front of my file.
In my birth plan I stated my intent to heal my previous traumatic experience. I think the staff responded to that.
It was important to me for DH to not see my insides. This felt like reclaiming some respect & dignity. While it meant they kept the drape up after DD was first born, they were quick to get her to us.
I asked - religiously every time I went to the hospital - if I could breastfeed & have skin to skin contact in theatre. I received every answer under the sun from yes, no, it depends, I don't know - but on the day my intent shone thru and while i didn't get to breastfeed her in theatre we had skin on skin contact and she stayed with me the whole time except for about 10 mins when we were in transit to recovery. The theatre midwife knew how badly I wanted to offer that first feed AND the hospital had the BFing best practice guidelines of offering a feed as close to birth as possible, so she hung around longer in recovery so I could feed DD, even though they were paging her to get a move on LOL.
I asked to see and touch my placenta, as this was something I missed during my first birth. They were unable to do this in theatre because of everything else that was going on, but the same theatre midwife kept it for me in a bucket and brought it up to me (in her own time) at the end of her shift. What a darling.
I was really worried about being left alone with my baby and unable to cope (after experiences with DD1 when I needed help in the middle of the night and couldn't find anyone for several hours) - so I asked for DH to be allowed to stay for the first night or so. In the end they allocated me a single room (even though I would normally have shared) so DH was able to stay the entire time. This helped enormously as I felt like I had support and assistance, unlike with DD1 when DH wasn't allowed *any* time off work (yup, only legal to deprive someone of parental leave if they work in defence).
Ok so a lot of these things won't necessarily apply in your situation, but the important thing is to think about the birth you want and really distill it down to the things that are most important to you, get that into your birth plan and let the staff know WHY you want it that way. I was also quite vocal about needing reassurance on the day because I was terrified (for a number of reasons), and I don't know if they're like this for everyone, but they really did go that extra step to care for my wellbeing, rather than just getting the procedure done.
And the best thing? My little darling was born with none of the distress and pain that DD1 had, she was calm and fat and rosy, and now as a 2 yr old, she has a much greater tolerance for pain than DD1 had at the same age, which I think is a reflection on the calm way she entered the world.
Last edited by AnyDream; July 28th, 2010 at 10:06 PM.
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I hope she turns for you.
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