Hi Beema,

Hugs and turning vibes being sent your way.

I had an emergency caesar in March. I had desperately hoped to have a drug free, active natural birth. But I ended up being induced at 13 days over, and eventually had an epi, which necessitated the c-section. In some ways I've struggled to come to terms with it all, but for what it's worth here are my reflections 4 months on:

- They showed me the baby the second he was out (held him over the blue sheet). I will always remember that moment!
- They then checked him, wrapped him, and my DH held him next to my head while they kept going (no idea what they were doing at that point LOL)
- I couldn't have him in recovery, but DH went with him and after the nurse bathed him, he did the skin-to-skin contact with him
- I got him back as soon as I went up to the ward
- I kept thinking that if we had been in a third-world country (or hundreds of years ago), we both could easily have died in labour. So that made me very thankful for surgery!
- In terms of the actual surgery, I think the thought of it is worse than the actuality of it. Yes I was sore for a while afterwards, but the thought of being cut open had me really freaked out. But once it had all happened, I was fine.
- TBH, I think that too much gets made of birth sometimes. Yes, it is incredible and all that, and we have in our heads the way we want it (for me it was natural and blissful etc), but that can lead to huge disappointment if it doesn't go quite according to plan.
- Again, while birth is a huge deal, it is only one moment in a baby's life. If for some reason they don't get skin on skin etc etc then while that's not ideal, if they are brought up in a loving and secure home, then it just won't be an issue in their life. I wouldn't have a clue what happened when I was born - and given the times back then it was probably quite 'clinical', but I turned out ok!
- The way in which your baby enters the world has no bearing on your worth as a mother!

On the practical side of things:
- don't forget your grandma undies (all the ones I had taken to hospital had the elastic right over where my cut was) and a really soft tracksuit
- don't be afraid to ask the staff for help with bubs (especially that first night)
- get up and about when you can, but don't overdo it
- be strict with yourself about not lifting anything heavier than your baby
- get some frozen meals in the freezer now so that you don't have to cook
- take some metamucil to hospital!!!!
- I believe (but could well be wrong) they give you antibiotics through your IV to prevent infection - you might want some inner health plus with you
- find out every time you have pain relief what time you can have more, and ask for it if they don't come at that time
- morphine can make you vomit so be careful what you eat post-surgery (I was allowed to eat straight away as I had only had the epi, but let's just say I regretted it later - vomiting was very painful)
- remember, you're going to have a wonderful, beautiful baby!
- my back was very sore for the first 3 weeks after birth. Getting down on the floor lying on my back really helped, but there is an art to getting on and off the floor after c-section. Maybe research this before you go into hospital?

HTH

I hope I'm not coming across as unsympathetic, because this really is an issue that I have been struggling with, but I just wanted to share some of my thoughts 4 months down the track. I hope everything goes really well for you, c-section or otherwise!