Caesarean ~ How did you make it an empowering experience?

[*Beema*]

I feel that it is best that I look at this possiblity now, and get my head around the prospect that this baby may not turn, I have a septum in the middle of my uterus, and placenta is in the right horn and goes over the septum and babies head in the left horn, my amniotic fluid levels are on the low side and the only way we can get baby to turn is to do a somersault either facing my spine or belly button. My OB said yesterday that this baby has to turn by itself, an ECV is not an option as the rotation needs to have turning to the left or right in a clockwise fashion, but with the septum and placenta in the way it isn't possible. DD was able to turn as I had Polyhydrominous (excess amniotic fluid) so she had a massive pool of water to turn in and it also helped push the septum further out of the way and the placenta wasn't implanted in one of the horns.

I am doing inversions and spending a lot of time on my hands and knees, sitting backwards on chairs to try and get bubs to turn and am considering going back to do Moxa and Accupuncture to try and get bubs to turn. But we are running out of time as the longer we go the harder it is as baby will get stuck, and my OB said yesterday that we really need to get this baby turning sooner rather then later.

So while I am hopeful that we still have time for bubs to turn, I want to prepare myself for the possibility of a C-Section, which the thought of is already dissappointing as I achieved a VB with DD. And I am pretty scared about it TBH, for so many reasons, my platelets are dropping and they may impact the opportunity of a Epi or Spinal, if they get too low it isn't an option and the C-Sec would be done under GA, which I don't want to consider atm

And the impact it will have on my daily life, not driving for 6 weeks (I do all the driving in our family), relying on others, and this will likely be coupled with trying to get in and out of hospital each day until bubs can come home. DH is only taking off a day or two when bubs is born and the rest when we bring bubs home.

But if we have to go down this path I want to make it an empowering birth, I want to feel like I have still birthed my child, I read a story on the maternal assisted CS and was truely amazed by it, but while that is unlikely I want to make it a positive experience and hopefully not a rushed Emergency CS.

So I guess my quesitons are:

How did you make your CS empowering?
What things did you do to bond with your baby (hoping that bub can stay with us for a bit rather than off to NICU or SCBU )?
Did you achieve skin on skin or BF?
Were you able to take bub with you to recovery?
Any other suggestions or good books or birth stories to read?

I am hopefull that we can still achieve a VB, but if a CS ends up being the way we need to birth then I want to prepare for it mentally and emotionally now, rather than just being thrown into it.....

[mykids]

Hi Beema,

I wouldn't say I achieved an empowered caesarean (I have had 3 now) but I must say a few things that I did with my third that I believed helped me to bond a little better where;

* I was the first to touch my baby without gloves and before he was cleaned so we was still gooey
* My DP got to cut the cord....well not from my belly but once the baby was taken by the paed to the table to be checked they let him cut some of the cord that was still attached to the baby
* Due to lack of staff he was not in recovery with me but they brought him to me right away when I got back to the ward and I put him on the breast to feed straight away

I had no issues with breast feeding but from what I have heard from other woman it seems to be luck with supply and good attachment of the baby because I have had more friends not be able to breastfeed who have had VB than caesreans. You mentioned you BF DD so I dont think you should have any problems if you were to have a caesarean.

A couple of tips if you do have a c/s, TAKE the camera, we were allowed to take heaps of photos of the birth.
Also, if have some time in your hospital room before the c/s make sure you unpack everything and keep things above waist height so you dont need to bend and keep things you think you will need in the first 24hrs in easy reach from the hospital bed because they wont let you stand for a good 24hrs (depends on the hospital but I have been to 2 different hospitals and both were about 24hrs)

Good luck , I think getting your head around possibly having a c/s now is a big step towards dealing with it if it happens.
Stay positive it sounds like you are doing everything possible to get that little bubba to turn and I hope it does.

[surprised]

Hi Beema,

Hugs and turning vibes being sent your way.

I had an emergency caesar in March. I had desperately hoped to have a drug free, active natural birth. But I ended up being induced at 13 days over, and eventually had an epi, which necessitated the c-section. In some ways I've struggled to come to terms with it all, but for what it's worth here are my reflections 4 months on:

- They showed me the baby the second he was out (held him over the blue sheet). I will always remember that moment!
- They then checked him, wrapped him, and my DH held him next to my head while they kept going (no idea what they were doing at that point LOL)
- I couldn't have him in recovery, but DH went with him and after the nurse bathed him, he did the skin-to-skin contact with him
- I got him back as soon as I went up to the ward
- I kept thinking that if we had been in a third-world country (or hundreds of years ago), we both could easily have died in labour. So that made me very thankful for surgery!
- In terms of the actual surgery, I think the thought of it is worse than the actuality of it. Yes I was sore for a while afterwards, but the thought of being cut open had me really freaked out. But once it had all happened, I was fine.
- TBH, I think that too much gets made of birth sometimes. Yes, it is incredible and all that, and we have in our heads the way we want it (for me it was natural and blissful etc), but that can lead to huge disappointment if it doesn't go quite according to plan.
- Again, while birth is a huge deal, it is only one moment in a baby's life. If for some reason they don't get skin on skin etc etc then while that's not ideal, if they are brought up in a loving and secure home, then it just won't be an issue in their life. I wouldn't have a clue what happened when I was born - and given the times back then it was probably quite 'clinical', but I turned out ok!
- The way in which your baby enters the world has no bearing on your worth as a mother!

On the practical side of things:
- don't forget your grandma undies (all the ones I had taken to hospital had the elastic right over where my cut was) and a really soft tracksuit
- don't be afraid to ask the staff for help with bubs (especially that first night)
- get up and about when you can, but don't overdo it
- be strict with yourself about not lifting anything heavier than your baby
- get some frozen meals in the freezer now so that you don't have to cook
- take some metamucil to hospital!!!!
- I believe (but could well be wrong) they give you antibiotics through your IV to prevent infection - you might want some inner health plus with you
- find out every time you have pain relief what time you can have more, and ask for it if they don't come at that time
- morphine can make you vomit so be careful what you eat post-surgery (I was allowed to eat straight away as I had only had the epi, but let's just say I regretted it later - vomiting was very painful)
- remember, you're going to have a wonderful, beautiful baby!
- my back was very sore for the first 3 weeks after birth. Getting down on the floor lying on my back really helped, but there is an art to getting on and off the floor after c-section. Maybe research this before you go into hospital?

HTH

I hope I'm not coming across as unsympathetic, because this really is an issue that I have been struggling with, but I just wanted to share some of my thoughts 4 months down the track. I hope everything goes really well for you, c-section or otherwise!

[Arimeh]

I wouldn't call either of mine empowering, so I can't comment on that, but just wanted to say the "no driving for 6 weeks" isn't standard, and check with your insurance company first before assuming its so. My insurance company (AAMI) had nothing in their product disclosure statement (and I rang them to confirm) about any time period after a c-section. So I drove basically straight away. I was in hospital for 5 days for both of mine, and I know for sure I drove that week after being discharged. AAMI were fine with this, as long as I had checked with my doc and gotten permission, which I did the day I checked out. My OB said it was fine for me to drive.

So just wanted to mention that, incase it was a big issue for you

[~*Kat*~]

My first was a emergency c-sect and wasn't empowering at all but this time I have spoken to my nurse and doctor and told them if it comes to another c-sect I want bubs put straight on me and not to be taken away from me unless absolutely nessisary and they r fine with what I want and r willing to help me out as best as they can. All I can reccomend is talking to ur birth team (midwives OB, doctors everyone) and make sure they know and can support what u want. Generally I think u will find they will do everything u want provided its safe

[~Kim~]

I had my second c-sec at a little country hospital, so even though I asked about maternally assisted or parts thereof they were horrified and ruled it out.
After that I knew that there was nothing more to be done about it and how I reacted was my own choice.
I chose to be grateful that my baby was being assisted on his journey. I chose that I wasn't going to feel negative about his birth experience as it wasn't his fault and he didn't get to pick either. I didn't want any negative feelings surrounding what was one of the greatest days of my life - so I didn't let them.
I really try hard to live simply and happily and so this was a continuation of that for me. I know it's not always as easy as it sounds, and I truely wish you well on this journey Beema. I hope she turns for you.