I'm still feeling pretty crummy, but there has been improvement over the week, talking things through a bit more with my counsellor and DH, and going through your comments. Thanks.

Today I'm seeing my ob, and I'll be asking her about a date for the c-section, when she thinks I should start mat leave, and then DH and I can start to plan a little more deliberately ...

Hopefully that will all make me calm down, and feel better about the birth, and get some strategies in place for coping with being back in hospital ...

Thanks again for your care and concern, ladies