How did you feel about having a c/s?

[Macca79]

I had an emergency c section with DS and now I am pregnant again I am doing what I can for a VBAC but due to the previous size of DS I might be facing a repeat c section for this one. Part of my coming to terms with DS's birth and in preparing for this one I got hold of a copy of the book 'Birthing From Within' (Great read I have to say). The author encourages woman who have had c sections to actually call the 'cesarean births'. Many of her clients have found this helps them to claim their experiences as 'birth' after all we did go through a fair bit to bring our special bubs into this world. Major surgery is not a thing to treat lightly.

I found that by admitting I wasn't happy about my experience and be letting others know that just having a 'healthy baby' wasn't enough for me. My son was fine but for a long time I wasn't. I developed post traumatic stress as a result and had problems with bonding, successful breastfeeding and PND. All the things they don't tell you you are at an increased risk of when you undergo a c section.

Give your self time and refer to your experience as exactly what it was, a birth. It might take a while till it feel comfortable but give it a go. You don't have to feel 'greatfull' for the experience and you don't have to like it either. Talk about it, debrief it it until the cows come home. Someone have no problems in how they relate to a c section, others suffer much before they can claim it, others never do. We are all different in this way. Just don't ever feel you have to like what you went through or feel hapy about it if you don't. Give yourself time to heal emotionally.

[jackrose]

I had an emergency c section with DS and now I am pregnant again I am doing what I can for a VBAC but due to the previous size of DS I might be facing a repeat c section for this one. Part of my coming to terms with DS's birth and in preparing for this one I got hold of a copy of the book 'Birthing From Within' (Great read I have to say). The author encourages woman who have had c sections to actually call the 'cesarean births'. Many of her clients have found this helps them to claim their experiences as 'birth' after all we did go through a fair bit to bring our special bubs into this world. Major surgery is not a thing to treat lightly.

Yay on the pregnancy, on going for a VBAC and for 'Birthing From Within'! I loved this book to and found myself furiously scribbling notes as I read it to remind myself later. That book and Ina May Gaskin's two books changed my whole attitude to childbirth - in a very positive way!

I am sorry you had such a terrible time with your birth Macca79 and I agree wholeheartedly with your advice of time, talk and debrief. Even though I feel pretty good about my c/s birth I still 15months later find myself talking and debriefing about it. Heaven, reading your story was a real Dejavu except for the time you got to have with your DD after the birth. That is the one thing that still really irks me about my experience... so much time until I got to skin-to-skin' with my girl and so many attachment issues which seemed to stem from the c/s implications. ...See, still debriefing .

It is really great to read all of these different experiences, I am so happy for those of you like Ellie where the experience was such a positive one. Fantastic.

[sazzafrazz]

My CC was a real emergency due to major foetal distress. I think part of the reason I feel so let down and sad about having had a cc was the fear and drama involved as we could have very easily delivered a dead baby.

I am in two minds really about how I feel. I know I did all that I could to bring on a natural labour before my induction and I spent probably 16hours of my labour time walking and standing and rocking, trying to progress. My dr let me dictate to a degree how fast he was allowed to intervene with his methods of induction and he allowed me 28hours before the CC. I think he would have allowed me to go much longer had DD not deteriorated so rapidly.

I felt really comfortable with the surgical team as I knew 6 of the 9 attendants in there due to being a small town. I held DD after her 5min apgar test when she got a 9 (only a 6 at birth) but didnt get any skin time till in recovery when we bf. I was ok with that at the time anyhow as I found it so difficult to hold her while lying like that and my arms were so tired that I had to ask DH to take her.

I know that if I hadnt had the CC I would definately not have delivered a live baby. Her cord had perished since the 37week scan and she had hardly grown due to starving. Her heart rate had dropped to barely 60bpm and was getting worse with each contraction. She just wouldnt have had the energy to birth.

I think I mostly feel bad as she took 10years to conceive using IVF and I just wanted to do the birthing for myself, not surgically. I also had trouble bf as she was so tired and small and wouldnt attach so again I felt I couldnt do anything right myself although we did get that working after a few horror weeks. Another thing that really hurt me was having a woman from my antenatal class labouring in the room connected to mine by bathroom. I could hear her for hours on my day 3 which did not help my coming to accept our birth.

I guess I wonder if I will ever be pg again and if I will ever get to try VB? This may have been my only chance and that is perhaps what I grieve most over, not that I had a surgical birth to save my dd life.

[Peg]

I have read that when a woman gives birth vaginally, the process of the birth releases hormones and these hormones contribute to the feeling of attachment to the bub

I wonder how much of these hormones are released when labor is interrupt or when there is no labor as in the case of a planned c-section?

[Sterla]

I have read that when a woman gives birth vaginally, the process of the birth releases hormones and these hormones contribute to the feeling of attachment to the bub

I wonder how much of these hormones are released when labor is interrupt or when there is no labor as in the case of a planned c-section?

I'm curious about this too. I have always loved my DS, but didn't feel overwhelmingly attached to him in the beginning. Bonding properly took a while.

[Heaven]

Same with me I think Selina. I loved DD as soon as I saw her and cried when she came out but I still wasn't really attached to her for the first couple of weeks. I don't know if it's the same for everyone but for me I think it was because I just felt so crappy. My experience of her was pretty much just pain, lol. Pain from the labour, pain from the c-section, and we had BF problems so pain from that. I was just sore all over and that stopped me from enjoying her I kept on thinking I should be feeling differently.

[Sterla]

SJ - I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling that way. It's something that is hard to be honest about. There should really be more talk about it.

[STARRYSKY]

was the same with me, I was lucky enough to get ds to take with me to recovery, bf while in there, but there was no "bond".
I pretty much forced myself to attach to him, I was very stubborn with the mws and nurses, lifting him up myself and trying to keep him with me as much as possible, even though i was told that i would suffocate him
3 days in at around 4 am i looked at my baby and SAW my baby iykwim. cue lots of mummy guilt and tears (how on earth could i doubt my love for this creature???)
Even through all the pain i was in, i tried to do all i could for him myself, otherwise i dont think I would have believed he was mine. the whole experience was surreal enough as it was.

I never once even entertained the thought that i may end up having a cesarean birth ()
so having one was a huge shock for me, I could have quite easily slipped into depression if not for the wonderful support on here leading me to reach out to others in RL who have had the same thing.
I still feel like not many understand how I feel or why I feel this way, I am now scared that if i get pg again i may have to go thru all that again, its not what i want, but a huge part of me is scared silly about giving birth vaginally now, is that normal?
so 6 months on I think i am getting better, physically i am healed but emotionally and mentally, well, im not quite there yet.

[Sterla]

I still feel like not many understand how I feel or why I feel this way, I am now scared that if i get pg again i may have to go thru all that again, its not what i want, but a huge part of me is scared silly about giving birth vaginally now, is that normal?

I feel exactly the same way. I'm definitely having more kids, and I really want to have a natural birth. On one side I'm worried and scared that I won't be able to have a VBAC, but on the other side I'm pretty scared of having a vaginal birth. I think I now doubt my body's ability to give birth, because I never got a proper chance to try before I was rushed to the ER for the emergency c/s.

[Bridg]

With my first pregnancy being a twin one, I knew there was a high chance I would end up having a c/s. I went into labour at 34w5d. When I got to Melbourne (was air lifted), the Dr did an u/s, and could see where the 1st baby was, but the 2nd baby was hiding. He said he wanted to do a c/s because they were in the one sac, and he was worried they would get tangled up. I agreed, because I knew he was thinking of my babies' health.

As it turned out, the 2 umbilical cords were tied in a true knot, and if I had of had a VB, all 3 of us would have died.

This time, I am aiming for a VBAC.