I want an elective c section... and don't want to be bullied!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Puppies, congratulations on making a decision and being at peace with it. No-one should be forced into doing what they don't want - be that vaginal birth or a section. You'll probably get on better in hospital; no-one bullies you into trying without drugs or trying to have a vaginal birth there! You probably wouldn't cope with trying for a vaginal birth in hospital from what I've read of you and your worries and nerves. It would be a nightmare!

Forget other people. You have researched your decision and that's the important thing. And no-one cares how you gave birth when the baby is here. If you do want to tell them then you're ignored because "it's only one day" and "the baby's here now". Having a NYE baby sounds great; recovery public holiday is such a good plan!

Best of luck to you when you talk to your Obs.

[puppies]

Hoobley,
I understand where you are coming from and yep I can see where that conclusion came from based on my other threads. When we first decided to TTC I honestly wanted a c section. Then as time went on I felt that I should at least try for a vaginal birth based on everyone's opinions. Although from the very beginning even before we had out growth scan at 28 weeks we had asked the Obs that we would like our options open to us and made sure he was able to offer us our options.

As the pregnancy has progressed my anxiety has increased and that stupid midwife most certainly impacted on that. But she certainly can't take responsibility for the final decision. In a way I am glad I was able to finally make my mind up and I am very confident with my/our choice. I slept so well last night, in fact better than I have in months and I think it has to do with the fact that this decision fits better with me and accepting that has bought me peace. I would have only tried a vaginal birth simply because I thought I had to as a women and Im glad that I have finally been able to be honest with myself and strong enough to take a stand and choose what is actually right for me/us instead of just going with what everyone else thinks is right.

In my 'bones' this does feel right to me and to be honest I am now looking forward to it and am feeling invigorated knowing that I can have the birth that I want not just what I should do and I am not ashamed of that.

[LG]

I have to admit that after having 2 normal births I would love for everyone to experience what i did! And I am sad that a lot of c-sections are elected due to a social fear of birth and misinformation. Having said that, you sound like you have done your research and if you are aware of the risks associated with c-section and you believe that is the right choice for your family then you are making an informed educated decision that is YOURS to make, and no one else need impact on that, unless you invite them to.
Really, at the end of the day, no one MAKES us feel guilty, the feeling has to already be there.
Since you are making an educated and informed decision, this gives you a wonderful opportunity to lessen some of the possible negative impacts, and provides you the time to talk to your carers about breastfeeding, bonding, and recovery etc.
All the best to you - i hope making your own educated birthing choices allows you to feel empowered!

[puppies]

LG,
Guilt has never entered my mind with decided on a c section but it has been very much a huge impact when I was considering a vaginal birth however. In my heart I felt guilty if I attempted a vaginal birth for reasons of pride or because it was the preferred choice by so many others and something went a miss and my baby went into distress and we only ended up in theatre anyway and he might have been traumatised by the experience. That is the guilt I was very much feeling! NO DOUBT! It was a very real feeling and it was starting to take a hold of my joy. Since decided on a elective c section that guilt has gone and I feel liberated and empowered that I know in my heart that I/we have made the right choice for us. I have no self doubt with this decision but I did when I was considering a vaginal birth and it was driving me insane.

Does that make any sense at all? I am just saying what is truly in my heart.

[Arimeh]

I think DS was taken out at 39 + 1 - but my sister's OB took her last one out at 37 weeks.

All the very best
xx

[OceanPrincess]

Puppies - just wanted to weigh in with a "good on ya" for coming to this decision. It is obviously right for you as you feel at peace and settled.

Hope it all goes well with your Obs on Thurs.

[puppies]

Thanks OP, I am looking forward to having the discussion with our Obs on Thursday and yes it is right me us, DH and I both feel incredible peace about it. We even started talking about names again last night which we had completely forgotten about because we were both so pre-occupied with the birth. It made us realise that we were both feeling overwhelmed by the pressure of feeling like we had to go through with a vaginal birth that we both started to think, what were we thinking. Now we are thinking and talking about how much we are looking forward to bump arriving safely and getting our heads back into the right place where we are enjoying it again.

[Salsa]

I had been told that DS would be taken out at 38 wks. So we were expecting that and then they started to say that they were concerned about his amount of fluid and that he was a bit on the big size.... well then I saw a different Ob, who said he was not concerned about the size and thought it much better to let ds have another week. He said there was no reason for him to come out any sooner. Well I was devastated at first because I had been hoping and planning to see my baby a week earlier. I was really upset with this Dr!
But he wouldnt budge on letting me have him at 38 weeks, he said it would be much more beneficial for baby to have that extra week inside.

So he still gave us a few days to choose around 38.6 - 39.4 weeks. We selected a date and I`m pleased that we let DS have that extra week.
Btw - he was a littlie - wasnt very tall or heavy, so to the ones who were telling us he was potentially in trouble because he was too big!

[sunshine_sieben]

Puppies, I do understand your reasons for choosing NYE as the birth date for your baby. I just wanted to throw in a couple of other thoughts into the mix, I hope you don't mind:

Your baby will benefit from as much womb time as possible. Although 38 weeks is considered full term, all babies develop differently. So maybe consider having your c/s closer to 39 weeks??? Your baby might naturally come at 41 weeks, so delivering him at 38 would be 3 weeks before he is ready. I know you have been told he is big, but big doesn't neccesarily mean fully developed. And I'm sure you know how inaccurate these guesstimations can be.

Also, I know people who are born on big days like Christmas or New Year, and most of them actually don't like it as they can never have a party for just their birthday, IYKWIM.
I'm not saying it's a choice you shouldn't make, I'm just putting those thoughts out there.


ETA: I just read your last post regarding guilt and your reasons for considering a vaginal birth.
You really should feel no guilt whichever path you choose. I find it very confusing though that you say that originally you had only considered a vag birth for reasons of pride and because it's what other people said was the preferred way. I agree, these reasons are the wrong reasons. People should choose a vag birth because it's the natural and safest way to birth most babies. I understand that your case is different and your feelings could make a vaginal birth much more difficult than it would usually be.

ETA again: I jsut read my last post and realised it sounded wrong: I didn't mean that people should choose a vag birth. I meant that if they chose it, it should be for the above mentioned reasons, not because they want to proof something...

Saša

[Shanti]

Puppies - all the best with your upcoming birth. I think as long as you are aware of the risks involved with elective c/sections as opposed to vaginal births and you sound like you have really educated yourself, then you are doing the right thing by you and your child and noone can argue that.
Just keep in mind, that like vaginal births, c/sections (elective or emergency) can be just as traumatic for a newborn. Birth in general CAN be traumatic for babies.

I wish you all the very best with it all hun. I truly think you are very brave opting for a c/section actually!!! I would rather avoid it!

[puppies]

Yep all this will be discussed when we see Dr on Thursday. I have got 2 pages so far of questions for him. I hope he is not busy cause I am not leaving his office until I get all the answers.

If Dr says that he see's no problem with bump being delivered at 38 weeks I will be happy with that. If he wants to wait more, than I will trust him on that also. But I have to say if the baby is seen to be well developed and he see's that it wont be a problem then I am keen for that to happen. We will just have to see what happens. All that matters to me is what is best for my baby boy! I am only a little person and yes I am getting pretty uncomfortable but if keeping him in their is better for him than I am happy to live with the discomfort. As far as I am concerned I only care about him. At the moment I have already had 3 dislocated ribs because he has taken up so much room that my ribs had to shift to give way for him so I do get a bit concerned about that a bit.

Will have to see what Dr says. I pray that he will be ok to come out then though. I am looking forward to cuddling him!

[Tanya]

Your baby will benefit from as much womb time as possible. Although 38 weeks is considered full term, all babies develop differently. So maybe consider having your c/s closer to 39 weeks??? Your baby might naturally come at 41 weeks, so delivering him at 38 would be 3 weeks before he is ready. I know you have been told he is big, but big doesn't neccesarily mean fully developed. And I'm sure you know how inaccurate these guesstimations can be.
Sa?a

I agree 1000% There are so many studies that show the benefits of longer gestation with elective c/s, even that extra week is a benefit (39 weeks as apposed to 38). In fact waiting until labour begins is the best for your bub. Labour really does do wonders for an unborn bub it is stimulated by the readiness of baby's lungs and releases lost of good hormones for you both.... just a suggestion.

[maz]

Your baby will benefit from as much womb time as possible. Although 38 weeks is considered full term, all babies develop differently. So maybe consider having your c/s closer to 39 weeks??? Your baby might naturally come at 41 weeks, so delivering him at 38 would be 3 weeks before he is ready. I know you have been told he is big, but big doesn't neccesarily mean fully developed. And I'm sure you know how inaccurate these guesstimations can be.

Sadly not in my case if my c/s would have been tthe week earlier (when I told the doc's somethign was wrong) then my little man might have had a better chanch of not getting blood clots due to the cord being wrapped around his neck 3 times and his placenta calcifying. We was born at 38 week gest and my pead said if he went any further he may not of survived at all.

Puppies honey...I wish you all the best for tomorrow honey...I remember my last nights with all my bumps and jed and I did exactly what you and DH have been doing tonight...it is a little sad as you get so attached but think of the gorgeous little man that you'll be holding tomorrow.

Here's to a quick recovery for you babe...remember to hold your tummy when you try getting up afterwards and especially if you need to sneeze or cough..otherwise it hurts.

I look forward to reading all about tomorrow in the near future

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Thinking of you Puppies - it's half three in the afternoon here so chances are you'll be getting up to go to hospital soon.

Hope everything goes well and your little laddie is everything perfect for you.

Hugs.

[sunshine_sieben]

Hey puppies, any chance we could have an update? I know, you must be very busy, but we're all dying to know how it went.
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!
Saša