I want an elective c section... and don't want to be bullied!

[Tanya]

Your baby will benefit from as much womb time as possible. Although 38 weeks is considered full term, all babies develop differently. So maybe consider having your c/s closer to 39 weeks??? Your baby might naturally come at 41 weeks, so delivering him at 38 would be 3 weeks before he is ready. I know you have been told he is big, but big doesn't neccesarily mean fully developed. And I'm sure you know how inaccurate these guesstimations can be.
Sa?a

I agree 1000% There are so many studies that show the benefits of longer gestation with elective c/s, even that extra week is a benefit (39 weeks as apposed to 38). In fact waiting until labour begins is the best for your bub. Labour really does do wonders for an unborn bub it is stimulated by the readiness of baby's lungs and releases lost of good hormones for you both.... just a suggestion.

[Arimeh]

I think DS was taken out at 39 + 1 - but my sister's OB took her last one out at 37 weeks.

All the very best
xx

[OceanPrincess]

Puppies - just wanted to weigh in with a "good on ya" for coming to this decision. It is obviously right for you as you feel at peace and settled.

Hope it all goes well with your Obs on Thurs.

[Salsa]

I had been told that DS would be taken out at 38 wks. So we were expecting that and then they started to say that they were concerned about his amount of fluid and that he was a bit on the big size.... well then I saw a different Ob, who said he was not concerned about the size and thought it much better to let ds have another week. He said there was no reason for him to come out any sooner. Well I was devastated at first because I had been hoping and planning to see my baby a week earlier. I was really upset with this Dr!
But he wouldnt budge on letting me have him at 38 weeks, he said it would be much more beneficial for baby to have that extra week inside.

So he still gave us a few days to choose around 38.6 - 39.4 weeks. We selected a date and I`m pleased that we let DS have that extra week.
Btw - he was a littlie - wasnt very tall or heavy, so to the ones who were telling us he was potentially in trouble because he was too big!

[puppies]

Thanks OP, I am looking forward to having the discussion with our Obs on Thursday and yes it is right me us, DH and I both feel incredible peace about it. We even started talking about names again last night which we had completely forgotten about because we were both so pre-occupied with the birth. It made us realise that we were both feeling overwhelmed by the pressure of feeling like we had to go through with a vaginal birth that we both started to think, what were we thinking. Now we are thinking and talking about how much we are looking forward to bump arriving safely and getting our heads back into the right place where we are enjoying it again.

[puppies]

Salsa, I am certainly not going to be disappointed if Dr says nope lets keep him in there a week or so longer. I/we certainly did not make this decision based on a time frame, we came to this decision because we feel that its best for us and our baby. So if he comes a week later than so be it as long as he has the BEST chance he has got to be delivered safely and with as little distress as possible than that is all that matters to me.

But there is also nothing wrong with having a preference if everything is ok. I will be asking Dr for another growth scan anyway. The last report was good as they measured his head, abdo and length of his legs. They also measure the amount of amniotic fluid he has and all in all at that stage he was growing very, very well. Other than slightly enlarged kidneys he is perfect! I know these reports are a guess but they are an educated guess. I am certainly not relying on them and we are only using them to be informed. After all nothing in this world is certain and we are not silly enough to think that having a baby is a certain science. Its all in the hands of God and we can try and guess as much as we want in the end though its his miracle.

[sangie]

Puppies just wanted to wish you all the best. Well done on making the decision that is right for you and I'll look forward to hearing the birth announcement! Take care xxxx

[Arcadia]

Wow, I had no idea women who elected for a c-section were bullied by other women, (especially since cs are increasingly common).

I am at the other end of the scale (wanting a home birth) so I have some idea of the types of stuff 'concerned' people carry on with (such as "do you know anything about birth?" which one MAN said to me!)

As many other wise BBers have posted - you can only do what is right for you - and vital to that decision is both research and instinct (and you seem to be using both!)

I have also been following some of your posts, so my only advice would be to confront some of those fears you were having about a vaginal birth (I don't mean so you can have one), but rather, fears often help us see something we didn't know about ourselves...perhaps you need some re-assurance about the capabilities of your body, or some positive affirmations about what you can achieve.

I agree you shouldn't try for a vaginal birth to prove something, (or out of pride), but you deserve to feel good about your body and its amazing ability to perform miracles (hello, you're growing a baby!)

Go for your CS, and feel empowered in doing so, just don't ignore any underlying anxieties...they always seem to come back again....and again...and again!

[puppies]

Anna,
Fears, yes they are something that I need to face but I will not use the birth of my precious son as a way of facing them. I am just not willing to take the risk. Bringing him safely into this world peacefully and without distress is far more important to me than anything. I am not scared of pain, I am not scared of labour. I am scared of hurting him or causing him harm and that is the main reason for my decision. I am sure that as the years go by I will be forced to face my fears which are "My darling son getting hurt in anyway" but that will happen I am sure and I don't look forward to that at all.
If the only reason I would attempt to have a vaginal birth was to face my fears then I believe that I would be selfish. I would end up emotionally distraught if my instincts turned out right and we only ended up in theatre with a distressed baby. Knowing that if I had just followed my instincts and did the elective then non of this distress would have happened. Then I would feel guilt and disappointment in myself that I made the wrong decision. I guess it could also go the other way to but in my heart I don't feel that. After all your instincts as a mother kick in and if I start ignoring them now then what hope have I got for being a good mother.

[Arcadia]

Puppies, I agree a VB is not the place for you to face these fears. Indeed that's exactly what I was saying. I think a CS is the best option for you if thats what you want.

I was more concerned that you have anxiety at all. I know how debilitating it is. That's all I was getting at...

[puppies]

Yes, I have been to see a phycologist before (was referred by my GP) and I will probably go back to her again once bump is born to help me face my fears of loosing the ones I love or them getting hurt. I am even terrified that my puppy will get hurt, hence why I stupidly through myself between her and another doggy as they looked like they were going to have a disagreement. I ended up tears saying what kind of mother and I going to be when I put my own child in danger to protect my puppy. To which she probably could do a much better job of protecting herself than I could!

I don't yet know where my fears come from but I do need to address them and I will in time. Just want to make sure that bump arrives safely then I can start working on fighting that battle. After all we all have our battles that we must face.

[Arcadia]

Oh hun...big hugs to you.

You sound like you're doing all the right things to help yourself.

I wish you all the best for your baby and birth. Its your body, and your decision and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

[puppies]

Thanks Anna your well wishes are really appreciate and I would like to return the favour by wishing you and your family best of luck with your approaching home birth. Your going to awesome and I don't know about you but I am very much looking forward to the two of us soon becoming 3 of us!

[Arcadia]

Absolutely! Not too long now!!! Hooray!

[Danielle]

I say good on you! You sound like your in the same position as me when i had my 1st bub well and 2nd they were both big bubs we didnt know how big but they were showing very big on scans and even give or take the half a kilo they say they were always goin to go big... the same thing scared me trying to push a 10 pound 2 baby out with a 40 cm head and ending up distressed and in emergency theartre, so when I weighed my options up with what was put infront of me I know I made the right choice for myself and my babies both times around. C section is not pleasant to go through nor is it easy to recover from it took me 12 months with my 1st and quicker with my 2nd, but at the end of the day you will do whatever is safest for you and your baby. Good luck and ceasarian or natural birth you always forget about the discomfort and pain after you're holding your bundle of joy, although you have the after pain for months and months after having a c section but everyones different and by gosh is it worth it!

Good luck Im sure you made the right decision, I got bullied too but you know within yourlsef what is right for you!

[beau_9]

hi puppies, i too have leaned towards a c-section for our first precious bubba. i have some issues with my pelvis that have been brought up to me and my mum and sis have both ended up with emergency c-sections to deliver with the same shaped pelvis, and i have chosen not to go through however many hours of labour and put my child in harms way to be rushed into emergency to deliver via ceasar.
but like you i have to keep defending myself because even though i have some medical proof about my pelvis it is still classified as an elective ceasar. my ob wasn't overly supportive however he did say it's totally my choice given my family history, that there's a good chance i'll end up in emergency.
the midwife i talked to when i was sick in hospital just immediately shut me down and said you'll be fine to deliver vaginally, and since then it's taken me a long time to accept that it's fine for me to choose a c-section. like you said i feel that i'm not letting myself down for my choice in delivery, cause after years of ttc, all i care for is having a beautiful, healthy baby.
my family and friends are very supportive and encouraging me to go with my instincts, but i feel it's others who have extremely strong opinions on birthing vaginally, and think that i'm choosing this cause i am 5ft3 and only 55kgs pregnant, but i am totally aware that you can birth vaginally at this small with no probs, i just can't ignore family history and my pelvis shape.
oh it felt good to also vent that out, it's been playing on my mind since i got the positive blue line...ha ha
good luck puppies.

[NaeNae]

Hi Puppies,

People will always express opinions about what is the "best thing for you" just remember that that is all it is - their opinion. They cannot affect the choice you have made, or the outcome a bundle of joy in your arms.

I am pro choice for other women

- but for myself I never ever want to experience another C-Sec, my recovery was aweful and I hate the sight of my scar the feel of the extra buldge it has produced BUT then the reason I had the C-Sec is a painful memory also and I am sure on some level it feeds feelings.

Each woman has the right to choose - you don't owe anyone an explanation if people ask why your going these lines you don't need to justify your decision a simple "its the best option I feel we have for our baby" then a subtle change in converstaion should suffice.

Best of luck hun, hope your little one stays put until your surgery date

Nae x x

[luey]

Hi hon

you need to do what is in your family's best interests everyone elses opinion does not matter.

When you get a date don't advertise it. You want to have time to bond as a new family before you have lots of visitors. Tell a select few by all means but it also means it is a 'surprise' for everyone else.

I totally understand what you mean if you went through labour when you are not wanting to and feeling like a failure. I had to have an emergency c-sec, DS was posterior, cord around his neck, failure to progress and foetal distress. After being in labour for 18 hours when they said I had a to have a section I had a few tears. I did feel a bit like a failure and most of all that my DH would think I hadn't tried enough. We all know that is rubbish but these thoughts can be residual. Mine were fleeting, though I do sometimes have a 'what if I had done ...' . I have come to understand that I did my best and I have my beautiful son. All in all it was still a positive experience. I recovered quickly and very well too. much better than I imagined. As to what I will do next time, I don't know. both have their attractions. It is a while off.

MAy you have the birth you wish, enjoy the rest of your pregnancy