Thank you everyone for your support ...was feeling pretty low when I posted that.
I am finding it hard to open up it is not something I am use to and soooooo appreciate any of you that gives me the time of day...its nice to have people to talk to about stuff you think you cant tell the people around you and its nice to tell people who know how you feel.

I am a little suprised about my feelings towards my births because I have been through much worse situations than this before. I guess the other situations I am referring too were mostly out of my control but with this it is the overwhelming dissapointment in myself that I am struggling the most with...I guess I just need to wait it out

My sister had her scan today and she is 6wks and hasnt changed her mind about terminating. I dont know how to be supportive I feel so sad about it.

thanks again I appreciate your support so very much and I particularly enjoy the hugs