The most important thing in my mind is this:

You are not a failed woman or mummy for going c/s the second time.

I imagine a lollipop land where I could VBAC and everything would be beautiful but I already instinctually know it won't happen.

For my first, I was a birth centre patient, perfect pregnancy, healthy, head in the right place (mine and his)... but no... failed to progress 25 hours later.

Now, the boy was 10lbs 8oz -- yes, good odds of having another massive kid if i go down that road again. Would I VBAC... no, not safe in my eyes.

Some people I know VBAC'd beautifully at home, others had the same roaring vaginal birth disaster ending in em-c.

I know for me I felt ripped off the first time, but I would feel WORSE if my pelvis wasn't right for the baby's head this time too.

This is a long post, huh?

Main thing - go with your instincts, because they are right.