Registered User
to me, my scar is a battlewound and that DS came into the world via the sunroof... it also leaves me doubting another pregnancy and birth.... wondering if it means I will end up with another scar or not.
Registered User
I am proud of my scar, it tells the world that I am a mother, that I have carried and birthed a child. I often admire my scar in the mirror and remember that amazing moment. I am blessed to have no negative feelings towards my c/s but my heart aches for those who do. I hope one day you will feel more at peace with it.
Administrator
My scar says "I don't really need to be here." And it didn't.
It also says "But you were able to show them I didn't need to be here."
My scar is a reminder of a time when I was uninformed, it also is a reminder that hospital care doesn't always mean the outcome will be best for your and baby. Am I discrediting necessary c/s? Absolutely not. Mine however was not necessary, and was an act of convenience by the drs and midwives whilst I was in their care, and not an act of emergency. Did I fail? Absolutely not. But I was failed by the system. It is also a reminder, that even though we had a rocky beginning I can look at my daughter and love our relationship, regardless of how she was born and the emotional struggles as well as physical that followed it did not break us. We were stronger, and the second time around when faced with new challenges I proved to myself that I was failed. Given the opportunity I would have birthed vaginally quite fine.
I am however deeply proud of my scar, as ironic as that is, as like others have mentioned it is (like my stretch marks) a way for me constantly remember that my tummy smile lead to my firstborn being here, and without that c/s I would not have gone on to learn about birth, the capabilities of the female body and now I hope that one day I will be able to pass on the knowledge to my daughter and daughter in law (if I have one). That birth need not be traumatic and can be an absolutely exceptional experience.
So I am very very grateful for my scar.
2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
Mine says 'this is the end result of a lack of support and a cascade of interventions.' It represents all the pain and suffering I endured to bring my boy into the world safely. I am however grateful that I was able to try, and that I laboured with all my strength. On and off for 7days, 4days of broken waters and 12hrs of established, induced labour. Still it wasn't enough. When c/s was dangled in front of me, in my most vulnerable state- I caved and agreed immediately. I didn't even fight. My scar reminds me every day that I didn't really give birth. That opportunity was stolen from me.
Registered User
For me: I am proud of my scar - it represents life to me. My DD's and mine. Without my CS my DD and I would most likely not be here. It was not the birth that I planned, but it was the most perfect and beautiful day of my life because we are both here.
Janie xxx
BellyBelly Member
Mine says that I am a failure. That somehow I should have fought harder to birth my breech baby naturally. I was so close but it didn't happen. My second c/section scar says that I should have fought harder, stood up for myself and said no because I never believed he was too big to birth naturally.
My scar also reminds me that I was unable to hold or feed my babies properly for about the first day after their birth. They were in special care and I couldn't get out of bed to go and see them. I had to wait for them to be brought down to me. For this reason, I also missed the moment when they first met their siblings. Other people got to witness that moment and I missed out. I don't even have photos.
My scar is also a constant reminder to me of our very flawed health care system because no-one has been able to explain to me why either of my scars were necessary. The staff just weren't trained to do it any other way.
I don't like my scar. I don't believe it should be on my body or if it should be, I wish people would explain to me why it was so necessary.
Registered User
My scar says I am a Mum and reminds me of the day 2 little boys came into this world too soon, but they changed my life forever.
Registered User
"I am here to show you that I would do anything for you, because I love you"
Registered User
My scar says "you had a decision to make and you had to be happy with it" and i am. It also says "you had fair warning this little miss was stubborn and will be doing things her way"!!!!!
Registered User
Mine is mostly positive and pretty much that I was in control and made the decision jointly with my DH to bring DD into the world this way. Not my plan but I have no regrets.
The negative is whether or not this is the reason now my body fails to fall pg and stay pg
Moderator
Do you know one thing that really peeves me?? When words and statements like "failure", "unnatural" and "didn't give birth" find their way into discussions about caesarean births. I mean, in my opinion, having had a CS either by choice or unwanted intervention cannot in any way be related to those statements. We did give birth. Many of us are lucky enough to have healthy children as a result. It may have been exactly what we chose, or it may have been our worst nightmare but it doesn't take away the fact that WE BIRTHED. We conceived and grew a child. We endured what we had to to bring that child earthside. We should be proud. To be anything else is, in my opinion, doing all of us a disservice.
Registered User
My first one says:
"You were too afraid to give it a go"
My second one says:
"You ate too much chocolate and made too good a home for her and she didn't want to leave it"
Registered User
My feeling of failure was not the c/s it was that I could not give my babies my warm safe womb to grow big and strong...instead they had the harsh reality of being born to soon.
BellyBelly Member
Don't feel like you have to justify yourself or your feelings to anyone. How you feel is how you feel. Part of healing is being able to own those feelings and work through themMy feeling of failure was not the c/s it was that I could not give my babies my warm safe womb to grow big and strong...instead they had the harsh reality of being born to soon.
Everyone is on a different stage of their journey and it is great for people who feel have come to a place where they are happy and proud of what they have accomplished. For others of us, we are still at a place of disappointment. I am not going to apologise for saying that I feel like a failure. It is where I am at. I have learned through many lessons in life, nothing is achieved by pretending to feel otherwise. In time I may feel differently, in time I may not. My feelings are about my experience and my experience alone. They do not reflect anyone else's experience. They are about me and only me.
I shared something very personal and very painful in this thread - something I don't get the opportunity to talk about a whole lot. I was trying to be honest and say how I felt.
BellyBelly Member
That's what this thread is about, honey. I'm so glad you shared your feeling with me.Don't feel like you have to justify yourself or your feelings to anyone. How you feel is how you feel. Part of healing is being able to own those feelings and work through them
Everyone is on a different stage of their journey and it is great for people who feel have come to a place where they are happy and proud of what they have accomplished. For others of us, we are still at a place of disappointment. I am not going to apologise for saying that I feel like a failure. It is where I am at. I have learned through many lessons in life, nothing is achieved by pretending to feel otherwise. In time I may feel differently, in time I may not. My feelings are about my experience and my experience alone. They do not reflect anyone else's experience. They are about me and only me.
I shared something very personal and very painful in this thread - something I don't get the opportunity to talk about a whole lot. I was trying to be honest and say how I felt.
RB, I know how you feel. Although DD wasn't born near as early as your tiny prems, I was meant to protect her. My placenta failed. I failed.
Thanks so much ladies, I still want to hear your feelings about your scar.
You don't have to justify yourself to anyone.
Moderator
My point exactly.
Registered User
I am saddened by all the people who feel like they failed their birth
For those who feel like they failed... I say you didnt. Your baby is here. You still birthed, although maybe not perfectly in your eyes, or your heart, but perfect none the less because your baby is here.
For those like me whose baby isn't here (even after an emergency c section due to placental abruption) we didnt fail either. Life just really sux sometimes. But there is no pass or fail, just the journey to how we get where we are going
Sorry if I have offended anyone, I have wanted to say something sicne this thread started, but I just wasnt sure how.
Registered User
Mine says to me 'Even though you tried to birth naturally, you got your son out the safest possible way for the horrible situation you were in'
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