My Caesarean Scar says...

**Purple Penguin** · July 28th, 2011, 01:52 PM

Thank you JM

**Jakabella** · July 28th, 2011, 02:14 PM

My c-sect scar says " you have a wonderfully happy, healthy and beautiful Daughter"
Just as my 3rd degree VB tear says " you have a wonderfully happy, healthy and hansom Son"

**Miss E** · July 28th, 2011, 02:26 PM

I actually quite like my scar these days. Yes, in the early days it said 'your body let you down'...

But these days it says 'you've got a beautiful, happy, healthy little boy and you're here to enjoy him because of this scar'.

**Me+him+bub** · July 28th, 2011, 07:36 PM

mine currently says " I will remain only a scar and not become another incision in 14 weeks time"

**Nai** · July 28th, 2011, 07:56 PM

to all of you who need them when thinking about your scar.

My c/s scar says "hello" every morning and is like a little smile on my belly - saying this belly grew 2 gorgeous girls and they needed to come out here to grow up in the world.

**Charlotte91** · July 29th, 2011, 06:53 AM

Thinking of it looking like a smile.....

I got out of the shower one day and DP looks at me and stares. So I asked 'what'. And he goes ... ." You look like a face!" "What?"

And he says .... "Your boobs are the eyes, your belly button is the nose and your c/s scar is the mouth!!"

And then adds while laughing uncontrollably "Your pubes are the goatie!!!"

**LysnDan** · February 6th, 2013, 05:02 PM

I know you probably meant well Blondie but this is a very emotive topic. I don't think that Lenny was attacking you but moreso talking about how your post made her feel. I think that's ok yanno? Especially given this is a section for those who have experienced c/s. Again I have to say I agree with Lenny in that what YOU feel isn't what someone else feels, or what I feel. And telling us that Life doesn't sometimes go how its planned often feels like "Just get over it you've got a healthy baby." It hurts. And it invalidates the disempowerment felt.

Exactly that!

**RainbowBrite** · February 6th, 2013, 07:30 PM

I have had 5 natural, drug free births and then had to have 2 emergency c-sections, one classical which meant that I could never have a vaginal birth again.
When I fell pregnant with my 8th bub I was very disappointed that I would have to have another c-section, it was hard to accept.
But unfortunately my baby passed at 17w2d and they allowed him to vaginally...which I was grateful for.
My views have changed a little and if things could be different I would take that chance at the c-section with hands open if I could have him in my arms.
This is no disrespect to anyone, I know how emotive this topic is, this is just my experiences.
Birth disappointment is a type of grief, you grieve for what the dreams and hopes you had.
Hopefully Charlotte your grief has eased with time.

**Astrid** · February 6th, 2013, 08:00 PM

I can't look at mine, nor can I think directly about it. I can talk about me c-sections, the scar itself is another matter.

**kateo** · February 6th, 2013, 08:12 PM

I have scars from the births of both my precious children.
My DD was born sleeping at 41 weeks and I carry a scar on my heart for failing her so terribly and not noticing in time that she'd stopped moving.Her's was a VB but was induced.
My DS left a scar on my belly by his arrival proving I am a failure at live VB. His scar is the one other people might see, yet the scar left by my DD death is deeper. I let him down by not being actually able to speak and demand skin to skin immediately. I let him down because I was so terrified of the c/s I literally could not speak. ( I am highly allergic to aneasthetic(sp)) I let him down because he did not enter the world in his own time as I wanted him induced so he wouldn't die like his sister.
My scars prove I do not make good choices about birth. I was offered induction with DD and held off. I rushed into induction with DS and ended up with another (slightly less traumatic) scar.
Typing this brings tears to my eyes.
I try not to look at the scar I can see but I do look at the many stretch marks on my body as beautiful brush strokes left by my children while they were safe inside me.

**LysnDan** · February 7th, 2013, 03:04 AM

Well I have more time to reply now, so here goes. And this is just my experience and my feelings towards my scar. In no way am I telling other people how to feel or judging anyone, cos that's not how I roll...

Anyway, I am very grateful that DD is alive and now well after a very full on year between intensive care and other medical specialists as well as therapies, and it's still not over!

When I look at my scar, I feel like a failure. MY body failed her. I had a whole birth plan typed out, even printed and with my hospital records. I wanted a vaginal birth with as little intervention as possible. Instead, I got the whole ctg, bedrest, no induction, wheeled straight into theatre for am emergency c section... I had to fight to have a epi/spinal put in instead of a general. I was by myself. It was a very scary time of my life, and we didn't know if our baby would make it through the trauma of a Caesarian, let alone the night. So I can not look at my scar without feeling guilt, resentment (about my.birth plans not even being considered) and pain, fear, hurt, upset and a whole lot of other emotions.

Bringing a child into this world is supposed to be a happy time. Not guilty, fearful, unknown...

So, yeah. That's why I can't even bare to look at mine. I got feeling back in it about a month ago, and even the feel when rubbing vitamin E cream into it triggers the emotions. :-(

**Patti** · February 7th, 2013, 04:52 AM

It makes me sad to read that, like me, so many women feel like they/their body failed them. I really try not to feel like this as it adds to my poor self image, when rationally no one but me really cares how I birthed my babes. The scar in itself doesn't make me feel this way. in fact my second scar (on top of the first) makes me wonder if I could have vaginally birthed my DS without trauma as it was extended mid operation due to shoulder dystocia. Gosh, if his shoulders couldn't come out the c/s incision, could I have ever VB him???? Who knows. The cord was also tightly wrapped around his neck twice.... I wonder how that would have impacted labour? Maybe my body didn't fail, but somehow by NOT going into labour protected my baby? These are things I think about when I'm telling myself I didn't fail. I was well informed and desperate not to have a c/s, I tried everything to turn my breech bub and then everything again to naturally induce labour when I was 12 days over trying for a VBAC. I consented to all interventions, my experiences were not traumatic or rushed. I was as prepared as i could be and feel I made the 'right' choice for my babies, but some days I still ache for the lost opportunity to have a VB.

**LimeSlice** · February 7th, 2013, 07:37 AM

My Caesarean scar says...

...That I had a caesarean.

I don't assign emotions to it, I can't see it most of the time anyway and really have to look for it to see it. But it is just a scar. It doesn't define me, or how I view my birth. Even when I struggled with the whole idea that I had had a caesarean, the scar itself was never a trigger, nor anything that stirred emotion.

I have many scars and they all have stories, and most of them inflicted pain when I did them, but I don't invest emotions into them.

**ElleJay** · February 9th, 2013, 10:59 PM

My c-section scar says I had two beautiful kids the only way I can, and that they are earthside and happy.

Then again, my scar is pretty faded.

**No.5** · February 10th, 2013, 06:56 AM

My scar says different things depending on the day. Most days it just reminds me that DD is here alive and healthy!

We're currently not talking.

**Phteven** · February 10th, 2013, 07:15 PM

Mine is pretty much invisible - you have to look for it to see it and most of the time I don't notice it or think about it.
So it doesn't say anything much. I didn't fail. The system didn't fail. My gorgeous baby was born safely without serious injury to himself or to me.