oh Danni *hugs* its really hard. I think finding a way to debrief would be fantastic. In Brisbane there is a session called birthtalk and it helps women express what happened to them & there are doulas and midwives there to help explain things. I think looking into something like that where you are might be helpful. You may be able to find out by phoning a doula in your area. *hugs* its so hard to process all that goes on especially when it seems as though choices are thrown out the window.