Danni hun it's far from being your fault. What else could you have done in the situtation? Pull the screen down yourself, jumped off the table & grabbed Mason for a cuddle.

You did nothing wrong.

I hate that when births don't go as we planned we feel the need to blame ourselves. I know exactly what you mean about knowing there was nothing else you could have done. I spent a good year going over all the things I could have done differently. In the end though talking about it with Cailin, both in person & on MSN over a few months was what made me realise I did all I could. You need to talk it through to get past it.

Maybe there is some hospital policy that says the things you requested are not the *norm* for caesarean births & that's why you got the stream of no answers. I have noticed a lot of stories on BB saying that when you have a c/s or a VBAC you generally have to fight hard for what you want. Maybe if you had that appointment & Mason didn't arrive earlier you could have fought for what you wanted. But he didn't & you didn't get that opportunity.

For sure though, without a doubt I say you did the best you could given the circumstances. There was no way that you were going to change their minds whilst lying on a table waiting for surgery. You were there ready to go, what would happen if they said no, it's not like you were going to say "sorry not good enough I'm going to another hospital" IYKWIM.

*hugs*