Spoke to my hospital yesterday and was told under no circustances would they allow baby and mother to stay in recovery together. Their reason was that there were no midwives on the recovery ward. I was told "it's ONLY 30 - 45 minutes" - if that amount of time is SO insignificant to them and SO SO SO Significant to me why can't they give me a midwife to accompany me to the recovery ward for 30 - 45 minutes? Like someone else said earlier - if this was a natural birth I would be taking up several hours worth of midwife time.

I can't stop crying - I was awake at 4am again this morning unable to sleep because of my anxiety over this. I'm ringing other hospitals to find out their procedures, but the one that tries to keep mum and bub together would mean a change of obstetrician. I feel like no one cares about what I want or need. I feel like I'm being treated like an incubator that they can just tell me what is going to happen, cut out my baby and send he or she away without any regard for how I feel about it. The worst part is I'm starting to have some feelings of not caring and thinking that maybe I won't be able to bond with the baby. I'm not looking forward to the birth like I was and I'm really scared that this is the beginning of some sort of depression. I feel like I can't breathe at times and I feel trapped.

I really don't know what to do.