Wow, here i am coming in at the end....well maybe it's not the real end, but so far, it's the end

Keira, i think now it's become obvious why people have opinions and there are as many reasons as there are opinions. Some have chosen c-section and regretted it, some have had a necessary c-section, some an (in retrospect) unnecessary c-section. Some have had problems, some have avoided problems. Some, especially here on BB, have done an awful lot of research and reading of medical journal articles, WHO reports and other research in this area and are extremely well-informed, and possibly feel they should share that knowledge to give others the benefits of it. This is a forum for discussion, discussion without opinion is statement of fact. Opinions, here, are what makes BB an enlightening, supportive, caring, educational place.

I'm sorry you've felt you can't share why you need a c-section, but we are none of us psychic. Those who have had terrible c-section experiences and want to spare another going through it aren't trying to hurt you, they're trying to help you. If this whole thread was a result of a comment made by someone in those circumstances, perhaps it would have been more enlightening for you both to PM that person about it. My opinion of c-section, and why i have an opinion of c-section, is not going to clarify that situation for you. I have to admit that i wonder if your reluctance to share is because you will be told what you don't want to hear, that you don't NEED to have a c-section. If you WANT to have a c-section your needs are irrelevant, why does it matter what others opinions of c-section are if you WANT one?

My own personal opinions....

My good friend texted me a year and a half ago to tell me "it's begun!" She was 10 weeks more pregnant than me, and we were both excited that her baby was about to put in his appearance. It was her second kid, she was 38+3 pregnant. She was booked into her local hospital which doesn't have Obs, only midwives as their Ob centre had been moved to another city. Everything had been fine. I heard nothing more and i left her to it as her 1st labour had been long and "is he here yet?" isn't what you want to hear in labour! 3 days later her husband texted to say her son was born by emergency c-section at 4am and they were both fine. I gasped in horror. Why? Because i've known my friend since we were 10 and 11, she has already had a natural birth and BFed that baby for 2 years, i *know* her, so i knew it must have been bad for her to have surgery and i was really extremely worried about my poor friend having to have major abdonimal surgery at some ungodly hour in a strange city. I called and got the details. After 36 hours of labour she was dilated to 6cm and her midwife realised she could see a bum, he'd turned breech in early labour and was now tucked tightly down and unable to turn back. They transferred her to the ob centre and she opted to labour on and deliver vaginally (something which many obs don't "allow"). After 72 hours of labour, stalled for 5 hours at 7cm, having had no sleep and unable to have an epidural as the Ob needed her to deliver on her knees for him to do the vaginal breech catch, she was so exhausted she consented to a c-section. When they took him out it was clear her son was wedged in an odd position, with one thigh "locking" the other and hindering his descent (like a lotus position almost). Obviously her c-section was for the best, but without all the details i was really frightened for her. She is done having babies now but if she had another one and had an elective c-section i wouldn't gasp, she's experienced both births, both recoveries, hers would be an informed decision not based on fear or ignorance or misinformation.

I had a homebirth. I was told REPEATEDLY that they would kill my baby, there would be no equipment, i was irresponsible, i was stupid, i was (said smarmily) "brave" - a favourite with condescending doctors and midwives who preferred the hospital setting! I was in short treated like an hyterical, uneducated, hippyish idiot. I too did my research. There's more than one way to skin a cat, and there's more than one place to birth a baby! Those who choose c-sections aren't alone in being bashed for their choices. At least (in aus) your choices are funded!

Berry,
obstetricians have to be an advocate for baby's safety and unfortunately sometimes this involves overriding the requests of an emotional mother.
does this mean if i am an Ob and i can't be bothered having someone fetch you water i can say you are over-emotional and don't NEED a drink? Are Obs super-beings who are never tired, never hungry, never wanting to stay away from work over the weekend? Are they all without exceptions wonderful people who act only in the interests of the baby and the mother and never in their own interests? Do Obs never make mistakes? Who has to LIVE with those mistakes - the mother and the baby, NOT the Ob. The issue as has been said again and again is NOT women who have informed c-sections, that 2% is perfectly entitled to their birth choices. What about the 25% who have c-section forced on them? Are they all just being emotional? Why does THEIR pain and desire to birth vaginally not have a right to be addressed, defended? You obviously know what is involved with a c-section and the recovery etc. and it is very likely that you will have no regrets from going your chosen path - the c-section crisis isn't happening to women in your situation. You KNOW the risks, you CHOOSE your birth. All power to you and the best of luck on the day and a happy babymoon.

It is not difficult to state a disinterest in opinion contrary to one's own - in posting for others experiences with MMR i stated that i had done my agonising and just wanted my question addressed, not the topic. I ONLY recieved what i asked for. No, not all stories were of no-worries vaccinations, but forewarned is forearmed. No-one questioned my decision and i have seen in other threads that some of those who advised are against vaxing for ther own reasons. They didn't push it on me.

If we state our needs they can be met. If we state our boundaries they can be respected. If we are clear and kind, we will be met with clarity and kindness. There may be people on here who do not UNDERSTAND why you want a c-section, but there is no-one who wishes to hurt you. All those who question do so in the belief that they will be saving you suffering.

If we do not question we cannot learn.

Bec