:hugs: Lynn if positive thought and support mean anything this time you will win. We can't change the past and make it better but we can make next time different...

As Kelly said I believe that obs do do what they think is best at the time most of the time. Sometimes though some care providers (midwives are not exempt here!) find it difficult to hear women. Our "system" is not set up so that a woman and her care provider know each other. When we have midwifery one on one care or an obstetrician that is willing to sit and listen and talk. We talk of our fears and our joys. It sets up a support system. This can be difficult with an obstetrician. Simply the time restraints and the manner of what the care is. Obstetric care is medical care. Now some of us need that for some births. What a blessing we have access to it. But we shouldn't take what we are given if we are not happy. This person is going to share the most intimate moments of our life. We hve to like them, feel safe with them, have a belief that their opinions and options are congruent with ours. There is no point liking someone if we want to have a breech vaginal birth and our obs says no way! Or if we want a water birth and our obs says no way! We need to treat finding a careprovider as we would any service. We dont' and we shouldn't settle. Sometimes we have to make some allowances, some room to move and change... That's flexibility and it's important in all human relationships.

I think everyone wants the outcome of a healthy live child at the end of the birthing process. Emergency c/sections are an absolute blessing when they are needed and warranted. Some women have c/sections for reasons that they believe are not warranted.

For me the process of labour and birth is sacred. I believe there is an importance to that process, that the labour gives birth not just to a child but to a mother. No matter how many times a woman has become a mother each time is different and I believe important. I know when I birthed my tiny still baby - I felt I had given him the passage. I can't explain why or how. It somehow felt complete. Devastatingly complete but complete.

Now, if I need to have a c/section because my body can't get this baby in my belly out. Then I will thank the Universe for the scalpel. But my obs knows this is my last resort. That FOR ME FOR THIS BIrth I want to heal. I want to give life through my vagina. I want to touch that head as it crowns and hold that little person like I will never let go... That's what I need for me. I have chosen a woman care provider/obs who respects my choices and I respect her. I am growing to trust her and I certainly respect and am in awe of her support of women and their birthing choices. This is what I need... The road to finding her was treachourous! I interviewed lots before I could sigh and say... I am good!

For a woman who has said goodbye before she has said hello sometimes the fear is too great. The pain and memory is too great. How beautiful that we have choice. We have support and kindness and understanding. We have access to information and knowledge.

You will birth *Hope* Lynn in the best way for you and you will be fully supported and helped through that process...