Why didn't it work?

[Heaven]

I still don't understand?? I'm ok with the fact that I had a c-section but I'm just wondering about next time and if I should even bother trying for a VBAC because there seems to be no reason as to why I couldn't get DD out! Everything was perfect but it just didn't happen. I haven't written my birth story yet, but here's a quick overview.

- I went through a birth centre with amazing midwives!
- DD never fully engaged.
- I was 12 days post dates by the time she arrived.
- I went into labour on the friday afternoon and went into hospital about 11pm friday night with strong contractions 2-3mins apart.
- Contractions stayed 2-3mins apart pretty much the whole time except for a couple of hrs where I had a bath suggested by the midwife to give me a break. They just kept getting stronger.
- I was very active the whole way through my labour. I used the fitball, leaned over the bed, and stood in the shower.
- Sat morning I had an internal and was only 1-2cm dilated but fully effaced. M/w said that the cervix has to thin and then dilated so now it should dilate quicker, don't worry. I knew it didn't mean anything I could dilate quickly from now on so I just got on with it.
- Sat afternoon another internal to check where I was at, only 4cms Asked permission to break my waters to possibly help speed things because I was getting pretty tired and I agreed.
- Contractions got worse and I tried the Gas for a while.
- Sat evening another internal and basically no progress still so we had to talk about what to do. M/w suggested the drip to try and help me dilate and I knew she wouldn't suggest this if she didn't think it was necessary, she was committed to me having a natural birth too.
- I was really exhausted by this time and scared of the drip making it more painful so I talked to DH and told him I wanted an epidural, we thought about it for a while and I still wanted it I was too tired and I couldn't handle it getting worse. So I asked m.w for epidural. She suggested pethidine instead but I thought it prob wouldn't do much and I'd end up with the epidural anyway so I should go straight to the epidural b/c I didn't want my baby getting any more drugs than she had to.
- Epidural in but it didn't work very much but at least made the contractions bearable. I then got an overwhelming urge to push. Internal and only 7-8cms Told not to push, yeah right. I could not stop pushing, it was the worst pain of the whole thing, pushing but not being allowed to and being scared that I was going to hurt myself, I just wanted to push so much. They had to come back and take the epi out and do it again bc it wasn't working and that finally took the pushing urge and pain away.
-Then they turned the drip up more to try and speed things up and I tried to rest a bit. Another internal and they said I was fully dilated and they would give it another hr so the contractions would hopefully push baby down further and the epi would wear off so I could push.
- 1 hr later I'm allowed to push for an hr but nothing happens After consultation with lots of ppl they decide actually no I'm not fully dilated still Baby is not in distress or anything but it's just not happening and they ask me what I want to do. The OB who was super nice comes to talk to me and says that he knows this is not what I wanted but he recommends c-section. He says that everything seems perfect, DD is in the perfect position, she is just not moving down enough to put enough pressure on my cervix. He says that normally he would vacuum anything, lol, but he is worried it would be too dangerous bc there must be a reason she is not coming down and she might get stuck if he forces her. He tells me it's my decision and I can go on for longer if I want. I ask lots of q's and finally decide I will have the c/s. The OB was great and he checked again twice before starting the surgery to make sure there was still no progress and the c/s was absolutely neccessary. After she's born and he talks to me he tells me he was right and when he got her out she was in the perfect position for birth so it wasn't bc of positioning and sometimes they can't figure out why this happens, it could have been that she was just a bit big and there's no reason I can't try for a VBAC next time.
- DD was finally born at 2.30am on Sunday morning after going into labour friday afternoon.
- DD was 8lbs 10oz. I am small and petite and DH is tall, lol, I blame him for his genes!
- My mum had 4 c/s because with me she went into labour but a similar thing happened and she was told her pelvis was too small. I'm a bit bigger than her though and I don't actually think they did any tests or anything to come to this conclusion.

LOL, ok so that wasn't a quick overview was it.

So, why did this happen?? There seems to be no reason. I was in labour for 33hrs and never got fully dilated and DD didn't even ever fully engage!!!! The midwives told me they didn't know why either. And one time during my labour I remember hearing them talking in the corner saying 'It doesn't make sense her contractions have been close together the whole time and they have been strong contractions'. Was my pelvis really just too small?? And if it was then does that mean I will never have a natural birth? Or should I just pray for a small baby? lol.

[Jaycee]

Sweet, I have no answers for you but just wanted to offer you a big hug!
My SIL was the same, she is a very petitie girl and didn't dilate enough so had to have a c/s, she didn't try for a vbac for her next, but that was 8 years ago and I don't think she was educated enough on this topic.
There is no reason why you can't go for a vbac next time, FWIW I am tiny myself but birthed my bub!
Take care
xx

[smiles4u]

No answers here either ... but your DD sounds like she was having herself a really nice time being in her beautiful Mummy's belly that she just didn't want to come out yet

... My DD was the opposite she arrived 39mins after going into hospital ...somehow i think my DD was over being inside & the party was boring ... Your DD must have been at one FUN party, LOL

CONGRATS on all your efforts at the birth ... something to always be soooo proud of !!!!

[Heaven]

Thankyou for your support girls It's so frustrating that no one could tell me why!

[Oorki Galoorki]

i will try and show some outsider insight..

I went through a birth centre with amazing midwives!
- DD never fully engaged.
- I was 12 days post dates by the time she arrived.
- I went into labour on the friday afternoon and went into hospital about 11pm friday night with strong contractions 2-3mins apart.
- Contractions stayed 2-3mins apart pretty much the whole time except for a couple of hrs where I had a bath suggested by the midwife to give me a break. They just kept getting stronger.
- I was very active the whole way through my labour. I used the fitball, leaned over the bed, and stood in the shower.
- Sat morning I had an internal and was only 1-2cm dilated but fully effaced. M/w said that the cervix has to thin and then dilated so now it should dilate quicker, don't worry. I knew it didn't mean anything I could dilate quickly from now on so I just got on with it.
- Sat afternoon another internal to check where I was at, only 4cms Asked permission to break my waters to possibly help speed things because I was getting pretty tired and I agreed.at this point is when most women do the labour math..20hrs to 4cms thats another 30hrs until im fully dialated this can do your head in
- Contractions got worse and I tried the Gas for a while.contractions got worse as now you were in active labour(your not concideredin labour until the 4cm mark)
- Sat evening another internal and basically no progress still so we had to talk about what to do. M/w suggested the drip to try and help me dilate and I knew she wouldn't suggest this if she didn't think it was necessary, she was committed to me having a natural birth too.your m/w still has to operate under hospital guildlines which means once your waters are broken or you have presented to them you have to have had the baby in a certain amount of time...i dont believe she was as commited as you think she was
- I was really exhausted by this time and scared of the drip making it more painful so I talked to DH and told him I wanted an epidural, we thought about it for a while and I still wanted it I was too tired and I couldn't handle it getting worse. So I asked m.w for epidural. She suggested pethidine instead but I thought it prob wouldn't do much and I'd end up with the epidural anyway so I should go straight to the epidural b/c I didn't want my baby getting any more drugs than she had to.having the epidural was maybe what made it even harder for bubs to come down... for what ever reason she was staying up would most likely have been movable if your were able to stay active.lying on your back wouldnt have helped
- Epidural in but it didn't work very much but at least made the contractions bearable. I then got an overwhelming urge to push. Internal and only 7-8cms Told not to push, yeah right. I could not stop pushing, it was the worst pain of the whole thing, pushing but not being allowed to and being scared that I was going to hurt myself, I just wanted to push so much. They had to come back and take the epi out and do it again bc it wasn't working and that finally took the pushing urge and pain away.Being told to not push when your body is pushing is the worst thing to be told. i know that it makes you think your body doesnt know what it is doing
-Then they turned the drip up more to try and speed things up and I tried to rest a bit. Another internal and they said I was fully dilated and they would give it another hr so the contractions would hopefully push baby down further and the epi would wear off so I could push.
- 1 hr later I'm allowed to push for an hr but nothing happens After consultation with lots of ppl they decide actually no I'm not fully dilated still Baby is not in distress or anything but it's just not happening and they ask me what I want to do. The OB who was super nice comes to talk to me and says that he knows this is not what I wanted but he recommends c-section. He says that everything seems perfect, DD is in the perfect position, she is just not moving down enough to put enough pressure on my cervix. He says that normally he would vacuum anything, lol, but he is worried it would be too dangerous bc there must be a reason she is not coming down and she might get stuck if he forces her. He tells me it's my decision and I can go on for longer if I want. I ask lots of q's and finally decide I will have the c/s. The OB was great and he checked again twice before starting the surgery to make sure there was still no progress and the c/s was absolutely neccessary. After she's born and he talks to me he tells me he was right and when he got her out she was in the perfect position for birth so it wasn't bc of positioning and sometimes they can't figure out why this happens, it could have been that she was just a bit big and there's no reason I can't try for a VBAC next time.Now your OB presented it to you like your only option was to have a c/s when patience would have done the trick your baby was OK she was happy kicking back making her way.(yes slowly but none the less moving in the right direction) OBs are known for giving the women the hurry along when if you let bubs and body do what they need to it will happen!
- DD was finally born at 2.30am on Sunday morning after going into labour friday afternoon.
- DD was 8lbs 10oz. I am small and petite and DH is tall, lol, I blame him for his genes!
- My mum had 4 c/s because with me she went into labour but a similar thing happened and she was told her pelvis was too small. I'm a bit bigger than her though and I don't actually think they did any tests or anything to come to this conclusion.
your body will make a baby right for you.. your mothers history is not yours! this is the classical cascade of intervention...
Next time have the vbac, realise that the nurses and doctors dont work for you they work for the hospital.. get another support person in your room as most DH dont like seeing their partners in pain and will think gee if the m/w is suggesting it it must mean she needs it as they do this every day..

You Gave birth to your baby! it might not have been how you wanted it to go but you have learnt from it and next time will change it to get what you want!

TRUST YOUR BODY AND YOUR BABY!!!

[Heaven]

Thankyou for taking the time to respond to all that dou dou!!

at this point is when most women do the labour math..20hrs to 4cms thats another 30hrs until im fully dialated this can do your head in

Oh true, I was thinking wtf, this is never going to end!!

your m/w still has to operate under hospital guildlines which means once your waters are broken or you have presented to them you have to have had the baby in a certain amount of time...i dont believe she was as commited as you think she was

I really do think she was committed. I went through a midwifery program like a birth centre type thing and they had different guidelines to the normal hospital. I checked before I went there. I was allowed to not have time limits etc which is why they let me go for so long in the first place and I wouldn't have been allowed to if I just went through the normal hospital.

having the epidural was maybe what made it even harder for bubs to come down... for what ever reason she was staying up would most likely have been movable if your were able to stay active.lying on your back wouldnt have helped

I agree, but I really needed the epidural, I was so tired and in so much pain, I couldn't do it any more. But then I was active for the whole time before that and I didn't have the epi to near the end and still she was never engaged and I don't know why, she should have at least been engaged you would think as most babies do this before labour starts!!

Being told to not push when your body is pushing is the worst thing to be told. i know that it makes you think your body doesnt know what it is doing
This was so horrible!! That's exactly what I was thinking, wtf is this happening if it's not meant to be? What are you supposed to do when that happens?? Why does it happen??

Now your OB presented it to you like your only option was to have a c/s when patience would have done the trick your baby was OK she was happy kicking back making her way.(yes slowly but none the less moving in the right direction) OBs are known for giving the women the hurry along when if you let bubs and body do what they need to it will happen!
He was pretty good and told me I could go on if I wanted but I decided to have the c/s because that was what he was suggesting and I was scared. Scared coz no one seemed to know what was happening or why it was taking so long Maybe if they had been more supportive and positive instead of looking like something was wrong and telling me we were going to have to decide what to do about things.




You Gave birth to your baby! it might not have been how you wanted it to go but you have learnt from it and next time will change it to get what you want!

TRUST YOUR BODY AND YOUR BABY!!
thankyou very much. I'm scared about next time now. If it takes that long again I don't know how I will do it anyway, I was so exhausted after being awake for 3 days and being so tired the pain was just too much for me

[Liz]

LOL, ok so that wasn't a quick overview was it.

haha.. well.. at least your birth story is pretty much done!

I wasn't as active as I should have been with DD, for some reason I don't have the inclination to get up and moving when I'm labouring.. I perch myself on the side of the bed and stay there LOL. So I'm guessing this is why I didn't fully dilate this time. I was pushing & dilating at the same time at about 8cm too.. but I was told to just go with the pushing. Yes, it hurts to push when you're not fully dilated, but I can't even imagine going against the urge to push! They did an internal coz it didn't look like I was progressing, and I was dilating to about 8cm with the contractions, but then it would shrink back to 6cm. anyway, eventually I had my OB's hand up there helping get her out of the cervix during the contractions.. yes... ouch! and once he got the cervix over her head she pretty much crowned and slipped on out! She came out all swollen & blue LOL, which they said was because that last part of the birth was very quick.

I too think that the epidural could well have slowed things up even more for you, this could possibly be why they wanted you to try the peth first? But after labouring for so long, it's no wonder you were exhausted and needed some relief.

I don't think it would have anything to do with your pelvis, its not like your bub was stuck at all, she was just taking her sweet time. I think a VBAC could well be an option for you to consider next time.

*hugs* Enjoy your little bundle