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Thread: Why didn't it work?

  1. #1

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    Default Why didn't it work?

    I still don't understand?? I'm ok with the fact that I had a c-section but I'm just wondering about next time and if I should even bother trying for a VBAC because there seems to be no reason as to why I couldn't get DD out! Everything was perfect but it just didn't happen. I haven't written my birth story yet, but here's a quick overview.

    - I went through a birth centre with amazing midwives!
    - DD never fully engaged.
    - I was 12 days post dates by the time she arrived.
    - I went into labour on the friday afternoon and went into hospital about 11pm friday night with strong contractions 2-3mins apart.
    - Contractions stayed 2-3mins apart pretty much the whole time except for a couple of hrs where I had a bath suggested by the midwife to give me a break. They just kept getting stronger.
    - I was very active the whole way through my labour. I used the fitball, leaned over the bed, and stood in the shower.
    - Sat morning I had an internal and was only 1-2cm dilated but fully effaced. M/w said that the cervix has to thin and then dilated so now it should dilate quicker, don't worry. I knew it didn't mean anything I could dilate quickly from now on so I just got on with it.
    - Sat afternoon another internal to check where I was at, only 4cms Asked permission to break my waters to possibly help speed things because I was getting pretty tired and I agreed.
    - Contractions got worse and I tried the Gas for a while.
    - Sat evening another internal and basically no progress still so we had to talk about what to do. M/w suggested the drip to try and help me dilate and I knew she wouldn't suggest this if she didn't think it was necessary, she was committed to me having a natural birth too.
    - I was really exhausted by this time and scared of the drip making it more painful so I talked to DH and told him I wanted an epidural, we thought about it for a while and I still wanted it I was too tired and I couldn't handle it getting worse. So I asked m.w for epidural. She suggested pethidine instead but I thought it prob wouldn't do much and I'd end up with the epidural anyway so I should go straight to the epidural b/c I didn't want my baby getting any more drugs than she had to.
    - Epidural in but it didn't work very much but at least made the contractions bearable. I then got an overwhelming urge to push. Internal and only 7-8cms Told not to push, yeah right. I could not stop pushing, it was the worst pain of the whole thing, pushing but not being allowed to and being scared that I was going to hurt myself, I just wanted to push so much. They had to come back and take the epi out and do it again bc it wasn't working and that finally took the pushing urge and pain away.
    -Then they turned the drip up more to try and speed things up and I tried to rest a bit. Another internal and they said I was fully dilated and they would give it another hr so the contractions would hopefully push baby down further and the epi would wear off so I could push.
    - 1 hr later I'm allowed to push for an hr but nothing happens After consultation with lots of ppl they decide actually no I'm not fully dilated still Baby is not in distress or anything but it's just not happening and they ask me what I want to do. The OB who was super nice comes to talk to me and says that he knows this is not what I wanted but he recommends c-section. He says that everything seems perfect, DD is in the perfect position, she is just not moving down enough to put enough pressure on my cervix. He says that normally he would vacuum anything, lol, but he is worried it would be too dangerous bc there must be a reason she is not coming down and she might get stuck if he forces her. He tells me it's my decision and I can go on for longer if I want. I ask lots of q's and finally decide I will have the c/s. The OB was great and he checked again twice before starting the surgery to make sure there was still no progress and the c/s was absolutely neccessary. After she's born and he talks to me he tells me he was right and when he got her out she was in the perfect position for birth so it wasn't bc of positioning and sometimes they can't figure out why this happens, it could have been that she was just a bit big and there's no reason I can't try for a VBAC next time.
    - DD was finally born at 2.30am on Sunday morning after going into labour friday afternoon.
    - DD was 8lbs 10oz. I am small and petite and DH is tall, lol, I blame him for his genes!
    - My mum had 4 c/s because with me she went into labour but a similar thing happened and she was told her pelvis was too small. I'm a bit bigger than her though and I don't actually think they did any tests or anything to come to this conclusion.

    LOL, ok so that wasn't a quick overview was it.



    So, why did this happen?? There seems to be no reason. I was in labour for 33hrs and never got fully dilated and DD didn't even ever fully engage!!!! The midwives told me they didn't know why either. And one time during my labour I remember hearing them talking in the corner saying 'It doesn't make sense her contractions have been close together the whole time and they have been strong contractions'. Was my pelvis really just too small?? And if it was then does that mean I will never have a natural birth? Or should I just pray for a small baby? lol.
    Last edited by Heaven; April 7th, 2009 at 08:44 AM.

  2. #2

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    Sweet, I have no answers for you but just wanted to offer you a big hug!
    My SIL was the same, she is a very petitie girl and didn't dilate enough so had to have a c/s, she didn't try for a vbac for her next, but that was 8 years ago and I don't think she was educated enough on this topic.
    There is no reason why you can't go for a vbac next time, FWIW I am tiny myself but birthed my bub!
    Take care
    xx

  3. #3
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    No answers here either ... but your DD sounds like she was having herself a really nice time being in her beautiful Mummy's belly that she just didn't want to come out yet

    ... My DD was the opposite she arrived 39mins after going into hospital ...somehow i think my DD was over being inside & the party was boring ... Your DD must have been at one FUN party, LOL

    CONGRATS on all your efforts at the birth ... something to always be soooo proud of !!!!

  4. #4

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    Thankyou for your support girls It's so frustrating that no one could tell me why!

  5. #5

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    i will try and show some outsider insight..

    I went through a birth centre with amazing midwives!
    - DD never fully engaged.
    - I was 12 days post dates by the time she arrived.
    - I went into labour on the friday afternoon and went into hospital about 11pm friday night with strong contractions 2-3mins apart.
    - Contractions stayed 2-3mins apart pretty much the whole time except for a couple of hrs where I had a bath suggested by the midwife to give me a break. They just kept getting stronger.
    - I was very active the whole way through my labour. I used the fitball, leaned over the bed, and stood in the shower.
    - Sat morning I had an internal and was only 1-2cm dilated but fully effaced. M/w said that the cervix has to thin and then dilated so now it should dilate quicker, don't worry. I knew it didn't mean anything I could dilate quickly from now on so I just got on with it.
    - Sat afternoon another internal to check where I was at, only 4cms Asked permission to break my waters to possibly help speed things because I was getting pretty tired and I agreed.at this point is when most women do the labour math..20hrs to 4cms thats another 30hrs until im fully dialated this can do your head in
    - Contractions got worse and I tried the Gas for a while.contractions got worse as now you were in active labour(your not concideredin labour until the 4cm mark)
    - Sat evening another internal and basically no progress still so we had to talk about what to do. M/w suggested the drip to try and help me dilate and I knew she wouldn't suggest this if she didn't think it was necessary, she was committed to me having a natural birth too.your m/w still has to operate under hospital guildlines which means once your waters are broken or you have presented to them you have to have had the baby in a certain amount of time...i dont believe she was as commited as you think she was
    - I was really exhausted by this time and scared of the drip making it more painful so I talked to DH and told him I wanted an epidural, we thought about it for a while and I still wanted it I was too tired and I couldn't handle it getting worse. So I asked m.w for epidural. She suggested pethidine instead but I thought it prob wouldn't do much and I'd end up with the epidural anyway so I should go straight to the epidural b/c I didn't want my baby getting any more drugs than she had to.having the epidural was maybe what made it even harder for bubs to come down... for what ever reason she was staying up would most likely have been movable if your were able to stay active.lying on your back wouldnt have helped
    - Epidural in but it didn't work very much but at least made the contractions bearable. I then got an overwhelming urge to push. Internal and only 7-8cms Told not to push, yeah right. I could not stop pushing, it was the worst pain of the whole thing, pushing but not being allowed to and being scared that I was going to hurt myself, I just wanted to push so much. They had to come back and take the epi out and do it again bc it wasn't working and that finally took the pushing urge and pain away.Being told to not push when your body is pushing is the worst thing to be told. i know that it makes you think your body doesnt know what it is doing
    -Then they turned the drip up more to try and speed things up and I tried to rest a bit. Another internal and they said I was fully dilated and they would give it another hr so the contractions would hopefully push baby down further and the epi would wear off so I could push.
    - 1 hr later I'm allowed to push for an hr but nothing happens After consultation with lots of ppl they decide actually no I'm not fully dilated still Baby is not in distress or anything but it's just not happening and they ask me what I want to do. The OB who was super nice comes to talk to me and says that he knows this is not what I wanted but he recommends c-section. He says that everything seems perfect, DD is in the perfect position, she is just not moving down enough to put enough pressure on my cervix. He says that normally he would vacuum anything, lol, but he is worried it would be too dangerous bc there must be a reason she is not coming down and she might get stuck if he forces her. He tells me it's my decision and I can go on for longer if I want. I ask lots of q's and finally decide I will have the c/s. The OB was great and he checked again twice before starting the surgery to make sure there was still no progress and the c/s was absolutely neccessary. After she's born and he talks to me he tells me he was right and when he got her out she was in the perfect position for birth so it wasn't bc of positioning and sometimes they can't figure out why this happens, it could have been that she was just a bit big and there's no reason I can't try for a VBAC next time.Now your OB presented it to you like your only option was to have a c/s when patience would have done the trick your baby was OK she was happy kicking back making her way.(yes slowly but none the less moving in the right direction) OBs are known for giving the women the hurry along when if you let bubs and body do what they need to it will happen!
    - DD was finally born at 2.30am on Sunday morning after going into labour friday afternoon.
    - DD was 8lbs 10oz. I am small and petite and DH is tall, lol, I blame him for his genes!
    - My mum had 4 c/s because with me she went into labour but a similar thing happened and she was told her pelvis was too small. I'm a bit bigger than her though and I don't actually think they did any tests or anything to come to this conclusion.
    your body will make a baby right for you.. your mothers history is not yours! this is the classical cascade of intervention...
    Next time have the vbac, realise that the nurses and doctors dont work for you they work for the hospital.. get another support person in your room as most DH dont like seeing their partners in pain and will think gee if the m/w is suggesting it it must mean she needs it as they do this every day..


    You Gave birth to your baby! it might not have been how you wanted it to go but you have learnt from it and next time will change it to get what you want!

    TRUST YOUR BODY AND YOUR BABY!!!

  6. #6

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    Thankyou for taking the time to respond to all that dou dou!!

    at this point is when most women do the labour math..20hrs to 4cms thats another 30hrs until im fully dialated this can do your head in

    Oh true, I was thinking wtf, this is never going to end!!

    your m/w still has to operate under hospital guildlines which means once your waters are broken or you have presented to them you have to have had the baby in a certain amount of time...i dont believe she was as commited as you think she was

    I really do think she was committed. I went through a midwifery program like a birth centre type thing and they had different guidelines to the normal hospital. I checked before I went there. I was allowed to not have time limits etc which is why they let me go for so long in the first place and I wouldn't have been allowed to if I just went through the normal hospital.

    having the epidural was maybe what made it even harder for bubs to come down... for what ever reason she was staying up would most likely have been movable if your were able to stay active.lying on your back wouldnt have helped

    I agree, but I really needed the epidural, I was so tired and in so much pain, I couldn't do it any more. But then I was active for the whole time before that and I didn't have the epi to near the end and still she was never engaged and I don't know why, she should have at least been engaged you would think as most babies do this before labour starts!!

    Being told to not push when your body is pushing is the worst thing to be told. i know that it makes you think your body doesnt know what it is doing
    This was so horrible!! That's exactly what I was thinking, wtf is this happening if it's not meant to be? What are you supposed to do when that happens?? Why does it happen??

    Now your OB presented it to you like your only option was to have a c/s when patience would have done the trick your baby was OK she was happy kicking back making her way.(yes slowly but none the less moving in the right direction) OBs are known for giving the women the hurry along when if you let bubs and body do what they need to it will happen!
    He was pretty good and told me I could go on if I wanted but I decided to have the c/s because that was what he was suggesting and I was scared. Scared coz no one seemed to know what was happening or why it was taking so long Maybe if they had been more supportive and positive instead of looking like something was wrong and telling me we were going to have to decide what to do about things.




    You Gave birth to your baby! it might not have been how you wanted it to go but you have learnt from it and next time will change it to get what you want!

    TRUST YOUR BODY AND YOUR BABY!!
    thankyou very much. I'm scared about next time now. If it takes that long again I don't know how I will do it anyway, I was so exhausted after being awake for 3 days and being so tired the pain was just too much for me

  7. #7

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    LOL, ok so that wasn't a quick overview was it.
    haha.. well.. at least your birth story is pretty much done!

    I wasn't as active as I should have been with DD, for some reason I don't have the inclination to get up and moving when I'm labouring.. I perch myself on the side of the bed and stay there LOL. So I'm guessing this is why I didn't fully dilate this time. I was pushing & dilating at the same time at about 8cm too.. but I was told to just go with the pushing. Yes, it hurts to push when you're not fully dilated, but I can't even imagine going against the urge to push! They did an internal coz it didn't look like I was progressing, and I was dilating to about 8cm with the contractions, but then it would shrink back to 6cm. anyway, eventually I had my OB's hand up there helping get her out of the cervix during the contractions.. yes... ouch! and once he got the cervix over her head she pretty much crowned and slipped on out! She came out all swollen & blue LOL, which they said was because that last part of the birth was very quick.

    I too think that the epidural could well have slowed things up even more for you, this could possibly be why they wanted you to try the peth first? But after labouring for so long, it's no wonder you were exhausted and needed some relief.

    I don't think it would have anything to do with your pelvis, its not like your bub was stuck at all, she was just taking her sweet time. I think a VBAC could well be an option for you to consider next time.

    *hugs* Enjoy your little bundle

  8. #8

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    I had a whole long post and lost it.

    Big hugs...

    Okay - some babies take a LOT of time. I had a labour like yours with DD13. She was posterior so it was a little different.

    There are some things that stand out for me.

    Labour that is most effective is very active. Pacing, squatting between contractions - not being in a hospital environment until labour is very active. Women tend to look upon abour as much longer when they are in a medical environment. Labour that is very very active is the most effective.

    You had a lot of intervention. Intervention extends labour. It is my experience that when a woman is having a protracted labour if she goes outside, squats between contractions, does not have her progress measured in centimetres but rather by how she sounds, how she looks and how she moves that labour is shorter.

    It doesn't sound to me like you were pressured by the staff a and that they were happy for you to labour longer. But you were tired and worn out. However hearing someone not know why you stalled and ? a worry - that can make it scary for the Mother to continue. The more active, the more fresh air, the less medical intervention the more likely you are to have a vaginal birth.

    Our heads give birth first. Was there a thought that played over in yourmind that stalled your labour? Were you subconsciously thinking you would have the same experience as yuour mother? Our minds are very very very powerful. Our thoughts can stop or protract labour. The mind is my first thought when something is not going as we hoped. Have a think about if that feels right to you...

    I am sorry you didn't have the birth you aimed for - I understand how that feels. You did the best you could with the experience you were having. Next time I strongly urge you get a Doula. You stay at home as long as is practical. You move A LOT. You decline very strongly any analgesia. (analgesia is administered with an epidural as well just so you know). You don't stay still. Upright is always best. Squatting is fabulous. Using a birthing pool to ease pain but remaining upright where possible.

    Next time will be different my love - that is a surety.

  9. #9

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    Hi Heaven

    My bub got stuck also and I was pushing for 2 hrs, I was lucky to have a midwife who was able to suggest some positions I wouldn't have thought of, like lying on my side. By trying these different possies we did eventually get DS around the corner. For DD I saw a chiropractor from early on and very frequently towards the end to keep my pelvis in alignement. i only pushed for maybe 20min, bigger baby and was posterior at the beginning of labour.

    Did you do any hip circles? there is also some great exercises on spinning babies for stalled labour that I found really helpful. And you don't have to make up your mind about vbac now, go with it and if your labour doesn't progress again you can always choose the c-sec later. There is nothing worse than not giving yourself the option and then regretting not trying later (I have been induced both times and will never know if I can go into labour naturally - which bugs me a lot)

  10. #10

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    Thankyou all, your posts are making me all teary, lol.
    Yeah, I think my head played a big part in it. When I had the first internal the m/w asked me if I wanted to know the result or not she could keep it to herself but I couldn't help myself I needed to know. I shouldn't have asked And it was scary the longer it went on bc I kept thinking it's not meant to be like this, this isn't what I planned, it should be over by now. And "should's" and are no good.
    Also, my contractions were 2-3mins apart from about 9pm on the friday and DD wasn't born until Sunday morning. I needed a break, I was too exhausted that the pain became too much to handle when I was handling it well earlier on.
    Next time I will also know not to go to hospital that early. I didn't think it was early at the time bc contractions were 2 mins apart when I left and I was worried about them getting worse and having to travel in the car for 30mins to hospital. Maybe I will have to move closer to the hospital, lol.
    I hope I can do it next time but I'm scared already so I will have to do a lot of research about it. I don't want to have the same recovery as this time, being exhausted from a long labour and then having surgery, that was awful. Lets just hope it goes a lot faster!

  11. #11

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    SJ, big hugs, babe.
    The thing that strikes me is that you were just so exhausted. That's not your fault, and it is so hard to rest when you go into labour, particularly when you're so far past your EDD.
    I think you will definitely be good to go for a VBAC next time round. Like others have suggested, a doula could be the most valuable part of your birthing experience next time. To have them around to offer you support and suggestions for positioning and to make you even more active than you feel like being could well be what makes it happen for you.
    I'm not an expert by any means, but I'd also reckon statistically your 2nd labour won't be as long, so you'll be less inclined to go for the interventions (AROM, drip, epi, etc) and more inclined to just roll with it.
    IRT the pushing - I think it's really odd that you were told not to. I have read that the natural urge to bear down is really valuable in childbirth regardless of how dilated your cervix is. Perhaps the pushing your body wanted to do could've helped Grace to move further down? If she was so far away from your cervix according to your OB I really don't see what harm bearing down could've done to you, KWIM? I have read that damage occurs to the cervix when women are instructed to push against their natural urges.
    I think I was probably at about 8cm when I felt the urge to push with Natty. I was sitting on the toilet (not weeing or anything, lol! It was just a comfy place to sit) and I felt two really intense urges to bear down, which I did. Ain't no one who could've stopped me! And there was this gush of fluid into the toilet and I felt her move further down into my pelvis. I think you were let down by being told not to push when you felt you needed to.
    I'm not sure how much help this has been - it's all just my thoughts and I'm not medically trained. But I want to reassure you that there should be nothing stopping you from going for your VBAC next time. I honestly believe that with the right support you can birth vaginally if that's what you want.

  12. #12

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    Thankyou Amy.
    I know, I didn't understand why I wasn't allowed to push when that's what my body wanted to do, I would have thought there was a reason for it. It would have been much less painful just to be able to push through the pain, a few times I did anyway bc I was over trying not to and getting p!ssed off at the 'just breathe though it' like that's an easy thing to do!!!!
    I hadn't thought about maybe it won't be as long next time either, lets hope!! If it isn't as long I can make it!! I think I will start saving for a doula now, lol.

  13. #13

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    I too don't understand hy they instruct us not to push when we have the urge. For me I couldn't stop myself and was pushing with every 2nd or third urge, when my dr finally came in I was begging to push and he shouted from the dr of course you can, you sound fully dilated to me and said something to the midwife about why on earth was she telling me not to push.

    I think too Heaven, it's important not to beat yourself up about this. here we are giving you all these ideas but don't feel bad about the way your labour went. You did what needed to be done for you and bubs. Maybe in a different set of circumstances you could have had a vaginal birth but those circumstances weren't there that day, you still did an awesome job at labouring and birthing your baby!!!!

  14. #14

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    There is a belief that pushing prior to full dilatation can cause an anterior lip.

    What do I think?

    I think your body is a Goddess and it usually knows what is best. I say usually as there are times when you need to push but a cord is in the way or some other obvious problem that needs to be remedied (my DD6 had her arm at right angles to her face - clearly pushing then would not have been in my best interests...

  15. #15

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    with my first i was told not to push so i was screaming every time the urge came as i couldnt stop it!
    with dd i didnt "push" at all i let gravity do the work my body used the expulsion method...(being at home made a huge difference to

  16. #16

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    Heaven,

    I'm not expert but just wanted to let you know that I had a horrid birth experience with DD1 and was petrified at the idea of going through the same thing again.

    BUT I had an amazing experience with DD2 which has been a revelation - don't be hard on yourself about the 'could/should/would have's'.

    Next time you will know what you want and it will be different.

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