Sweet, I have no answers for you but just wanted to offer you a big hug!
My SIL was the same, she is a very petitie girl and didn't dilate enough so had to have a c/s, she didn't try for a vbac for her next, but that was 8 years ago and I don't think she was educated enough on this topic.
There is no reason why you can't go for a vbac next time, FWIW I am tiny myself but birthed my bub!
Take care
xx