Why didn't it work?

[Heaven]

I still don't understand?? I'm ok with the fact that I had a c-section but I'm just wondering about next time and if I should even bother trying for a VBAC because there seems to be no reason as to why I couldn't get DD out! Everything was perfect but it just didn't happen. I haven't written my birth story yet, but here's a quick overview.

- I went through a birth centre with amazing midwives!
- DD never fully engaged.
- I was 12 days post dates by the time she arrived.
- I went into labour on the friday afternoon and went into hospital about 11pm friday night with strong contractions 2-3mins apart.
- Contractions stayed 2-3mins apart pretty much the whole time except for a couple of hrs where I had a bath suggested by the midwife to give me a break. They just kept getting stronger.
- I was very active the whole way through my labour. I used the fitball, leaned over the bed, and stood in the shower.
- Sat morning I had an internal and was only 1-2cm dilated but fully effaced. M/w said that the cervix has to thin and then dilated so now it should dilate quicker, don't worry. I knew it didn't mean anything I could dilate quickly from now on so I just got on with it.
- Sat afternoon another internal to check where I was at, only 4cms Asked permission to break my waters to possibly help speed things because I was getting pretty tired and I agreed.
- Contractions got worse and I tried the Gas for a while.
- Sat evening another internal and basically no progress still so we had to talk about what to do. M/w suggested the drip to try and help me dilate and I knew she wouldn't suggest this if she didn't think it was necessary, she was committed to me having a natural birth too.
- I was really exhausted by this time and scared of the drip making it more painful so I talked to DH and told him I wanted an epidural, we thought about it for a while and I still wanted it I was too tired and I couldn't handle it getting worse. So I asked m.w for epidural. She suggested pethidine instead but I thought it prob wouldn't do much and I'd end up with the epidural anyway so I should go straight to the epidural b/c I didn't want my baby getting any more drugs than she had to.
- Epidural in but it didn't work very much but at least made the contractions bearable. I then got an overwhelming urge to push. Internal and only 7-8cms Told not to push, yeah right. I could not stop pushing, it was the worst pain of the whole thing, pushing but not being allowed to and being scared that I was going to hurt myself, I just wanted to push so much. They had to come back and take the epi out and do it again bc it wasn't working and that finally took the pushing urge and pain away.
-Then they turned the drip up more to try and speed things up and I tried to rest a bit. Another internal and they said I was fully dilated and they would give it another hr so the contractions would hopefully push baby down further and the epi would wear off so I could push.
- 1 hr later I'm allowed to push for an hr but nothing happens After consultation with lots of ppl they decide actually no I'm not fully dilated still Baby is not in distress or anything but it's just not happening and they ask me what I want to do. The OB who was super nice comes to talk to me and says that he knows this is not what I wanted but he recommends c-section. He says that everything seems perfect, DD is in the perfect position, she is just not moving down enough to put enough pressure on my cervix. He says that normally he would vacuum anything, lol, but he is worried it would be too dangerous bc there must be a reason she is not coming down and she might get stuck if he forces her. He tells me it's my decision and I can go on for longer if I want. I ask lots of q's and finally decide I will have the c/s. The OB was great and he checked again twice before starting the surgery to make sure there was still no progress and the c/s was absolutely neccessary. After she's born and he talks to me he tells me he was right and when he got her out she was in the perfect position for birth so it wasn't bc of positioning and sometimes they can't figure out why this happens, it could have been that she was just a bit big and there's no reason I can't try for a VBAC next time.
- DD was finally born at 2.30am on Sunday morning after going into labour friday afternoon.
- DD was 8lbs 10oz. I am small and petite and DH is tall, lol, I blame him for his genes!
- My mum had 4 c/s because with me she went into labour but a similar thing happened and she was told her pelvis was too small. I'm a bit bigger than her though and I don't actually think they did any tests or anything to come to this conclusion.

LOL, ok so that wasn't a quick overview was it.

So, why did this happen?? There seems to be no reason. I was in labour for 33hrs and never got fully dilated and DD didn't even ever fully engage!!!! The midwives told me they didn't know why either. And one time during my labour I remember hearing them talking in the corner saying 'It doesn't make sense her contractions have been close together the whole time and they have been strong contractions'. Was my pelvis really just too small?? And if it was then does that mean I will never have a natural birth? Or should I just pray for a small baby? lol.