Hey Mate.
***** huh. You doing good girl. and at least you know it's NOT you! it's not your parenting! No matilda doesn't just need a "good smack". I can't believe my s-i-l deals with this and 2 other boys and is a single parent. So bloody difficult. BTW the diet is definitely helping him heaps.

Keep venting, and letting it all out, so much time and emotional energy is going into this. again - it's not your fault! you are not a crap parent - take comfort in that. I wish I could help carry all of this for you mate, but there's only so much anyone else even your DH can do.

You need to read what Mantaray wrote over and over again until you believe it:
Christy, Matilda is an amazing child, and this is a credit to you and your love, patience and persistence. You have spent so much time and energy on finding out causes for, and solutions to, the challenging behaviours. I dare say that very few other parents would have discovered the dairy allergy as early as you did. Or to have found a kindy option to which she has responded so well. Everything you have done for her has helped her to be such a wonderful child now.
What a frustrating week it's been for you!
Love you.