I have found asking the teacher to give the child a 'special' role in the mornings can help with school refusal. Also a schedule that shows daily activities can help if novelty is an issue. There is some great books about worry that can be good with little kids. Teaching anxiety management rather
Than focusing on the current behaviour will probably be good too (eg deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, positive self talk, etc). A book I love is 'mind your mind' which is a cognitive behavioral therapy approach for children. It has two characters in it 1. The head hassler who is the negative thoughts and 2. The mind master who is the positive thoughts. Great for focusing on how to cope and developing life skills.
I personally would steer away from questions and too much attention on the undesired behaviour if it is attention driven and focus on positive desired behaviours.

Hope that all made sense!