I agree with others - she should be psych tested. It can feel threatening to think there's something "wrong" with you, but it can also be a huge relief to find out what is behind it. It doesn't mean she's not accountable for her behaviour, and tring to improve it, but a label - whether AD/HD, ODD, or whatever - means you know what help to find - behaviour therapists, ADD coaches, medication, etc. It may also help with school if they understand what they're dealing with.
I was recently diagnosed with ADD at 35 - wish I had been 20 years ago, it could have made a real difference to studying etc. Not that I'm a mess or anything - I learnt coping behaviours, but ADD people often develop anxiety and depression because they don't understand why they are they way they are, and why they can't control certain things - you really beat yourself up about things that seem easy to others, but are soo hard.
To get the medicare rebate, you need to be referred by a GP. It's usually pretty easy to organise - if you don't find a doctor that can help, keep searching.
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