Is this allowed in Family Day Care?

[Indadhanu]

I'd definately follow your gut and ask. Like you said, this is someone who is essentially with your son (at least in the same house) so you really do have a right to know IMO.

Well, thats how I'd feel if it were me.

It might feel a bit intrusive asking "so who was that here when I picked up DS" but, well, your number one priority is your DS, and if looking after him means asking questions about the person who is looking after him 2 days a week then thats what it means.

[danniellabella]

Seeing as she asked if you had a problem with the level of care, tell her that you have no problem with the care she provides (if that's the case) but be honest and tell her that you weren't comfortable with not knowing who the man was that visited but be clear that you have no problem with her having visitors, after all, it is her home, but that you would feel more comfortable if she either introduced visitors to you if they are there when you pick up or drop off your child, or that she lets you know in advance that so and so is coming over or when you pick up your child that so and so visited today.
If she responds badly to this, then take it up with the head office.

[sassy123]

i read ur first post but i didnt get through everyone elses so i am sorry if i have repeated anything.
i do FDC and anyone that is a resident over the age of 16 has to have a police check b4 u can start FDC. also u r aloud visitors but they have to sign in and out in a visitors book. this is to proove who is in the house at certain times so if anythign was every said to of happened they cant turn around and say no one was there.

in saying that if a parent turns up and i have someone here i always introduce who they are it is a bit rude to just not say anything. the only people i have here r usually other FDC people anyways or my husband and everyone knows him.

[luna moth]

I'm not sure about FDC but I know with LDC we are not allowed to have persons in the centre who do not hold a blue card to ensure they have had their backgrounds looked into. This includes if I need to get the plumber in to unblock a loo or anything.

Actually, that's probably Centre policy, and is not the law.

As someone said, there should be a record of who's in there. But don't ever feel like you can't ask - you are paying for her service and it is your RIGHT to know everything about it.

I would say contact your FDC assoc, council or community centre, or whoever runs it. Tell them everything, and they'll let you know what the story is. It could be something they haven't addressed, and your feedback might be really useful.

[Bathsheba]

I agree with Danniella and take advantage of the fact that she asked if you were happy with the level of care. Give her the benefit of any doubt and be polite but do say that when your son returns you'd like to be familarised with the FDC policy of visitors because it was the only thing you were really concerned about.

[organicem]

I would feel uncomfortable with this too.

Call the FDC Australia and ask them would be the best way to get a straight answer.

I'll give you some background. I was someone who said they'd never use FDC, because I saw no need for it when I'm a SAHM. A friend of mine (fellow SAHM) enrolled her son for 3 hours a week and suggested I do the same for DS, as it will help him in the long run, learning to be with someone other than Mummy and with the new baby due any day, it would give me a break and some one on one time with the new baby. I thought about it and decided that it wouldn't hurt and we'd give it a go.

I met the lady and did a tour of her house and all seemed fine. He's been going for a few weeks now and I decided I'd make it twice a week (2 X 3 hour sessions) as it was decided he might cope better if it was more regular, more routine. Her profile stated that she was single and had two grown-up children and a grandchild.

Anyway, I was late dropping him off this afternoon because DS overslept his afternoon nap. When I got there, there was a car in the driveway with no carseats in the back, so obviously not a parent. When we went inside, the FDC lady was there with one of the other kids and here was a man there also. He was standing in the kitchen and it looked like he'd made himself lunch, or had just finished, but he seemed very comfortable in his surroundings. I said "hello" and he said "hello" back, but that was it. The FDC lady offered me no introduction and continued feeding lunch to the other child. I chatted with her as I got DS organised and after about five minutes, the man just left, without saying goodbye to anyone.

I thought it was really strange that she didn't offer any explanation as to who this man was or why he was there. I mean, if he's her boyfriend, brother or just a friend, wouldn't you just say so?

So my question is, do FDC providers have to disclose if they have a "male friend" who will be at the house during times where you child will be there?

I'm terrified about paedophiles and do not feel comfortable about DS being exposed to adults, especially men who I've never met and know nothing about. I know it sounds like I'm just being paranoid, but as I was molested as a child and never want to put my son in a situation where it could happen to him.

[PinkPalace]

Yes anyone who enters needs a blue card.
Even tradies coming to fix something need a blue card!

My FDC parents often visit but they have blue cards

I would be having a stink about it to !

[Pretty Butterfly]

I have been a FDC for a long time, although out on maternity leave for 3 yrs now....

Even before I left, any one living with, or regular visitor had to have a Police check and Working with Children check.

Also we had to have a Sign in book for ALL VISITORS. Even my mum had to sign it if she came over!!

The plumber, postie, anyone who came in the front door had to be signed in and out, so if any claims are made, we know who was in the house at what time. The book is viewable by all parents at all times.

Check and see if your FDC has this policy too. It should!!

[Celsie]

Okay... thought I'd give you all an update.

I haven't sent DS back since "that day" when the mystery man was at the FDC providers house. My friend (who's DS goes there) said that she saw this same man the other day when she went to pick up her DS. Apparently, when she got there, this man was sitting at the kitchen table with the FDC provider and the kids (the kids were eating lunch), so she decided that she's introduce herself. She said, "Hi, my name is Allie"... this man shook her hand but said nothing and then left shortly after. My friend asked the FDC provider if that was her partner to which she replied he was just a friend and STILL didn't say what his name was or what he was doing there.

She gave no further details and dropped the subject...

Now if there's nothing dodgy going on, why be so bloody secretive?

I won't be sending him back there. I'm so glad I listened to that nagging feeling in my tummy that said somthing wasn't quite right, because I really think something is wrong with this scenario.

[paradise lost]

Obviously i missed all of this, but i wanted to stop in and congratulate you for protecting your son so well. Trusting your instinct is probably the most powerful thing you can do to protect your kids. FWIW it all sounds terribly dodgy to me and i'd have also withdrawn DD given the situation (in fact i'd have probably demanded to know who the heck he was too! I don't care if i'm rude! LOL).

Well done hun, and congrats on Zahley Louise, she is a wee stunner!

Bx

[PinkPalace]

Celsie - i would contact FDC to report it , if he turns out legit (oh well you get that)
if he isnt then you may propectively safe lot of little babies

[MamaPan]

yep i would report it, esp as she didnt give any more details when she was asked...

[Pretty Butterfly]

Definately PLEASE report it babe.. its just not on.

[Glamourcide]

Celsie, I'm so sorry you've had such a disappointing experience with your FDC provider!! What a shame it didn't work out, especially when you're expecting a new bub and need a few hours to yourself occasionally to get some rest or to get DS used to the way things are going to be.

FWIW, I have never suffered any kind of abuse, thankfully, and I tend to take a pretty relaxed attitude to the whole 'paedophiles are everywhere!!!' hysteria that the media beats up often, but I personally would not feel comfortable leaving my kids in the care of someone who could expose them to something dangerous. It's a serious matter - no amount of 'if only' or 'I'm sorry, I didn't realise' can fix it afterwards if something were to happen to your lovely little boy, kwim?

I put DD in one day a week of daycare at an ABC facility (FDC isn't properly 'covered' by Centrelink so it was too expensive for me) and we went through the clingy thing you described with your son, so I was going to say that as much as it kills to leave them bawling with a carer, it is just a phase (DD is going through it again atm as she knows something big is about to happen - new baby arriving - and she's a bit confused and scared) and it won't do him any damage to cry for a few minutes and then get on with his day, knowing that mummy will be back shortly to give him lots of hugs
But that being said, you have to do what works for you and if pulling him out of care period, or just finding another FDC or even a centre that suits your needs, is what you guys need, then go for it.

I would definitely be asking the carer exactly who this man was, how often he 'drops by' and what kind of interaction he has with the children in her care. As others have said, a Blue Card means jack if it's just a matter of 'you haven't been caught' yet, kwim, so I'm pretty distrustful of Blue Cards to start with because they are just a bit of paper. And you are paying this woman for her services and entrusting your precious son to her, you as a parent and a paying customer have EVERY RIGHT to know exactly who is in her house at any given time, why they are there and whether they are in contact with your son - from there you can make an informed decision on whether you feel comfortable with your child being in that situation.

So no, I don't think you are overreacting or being paranoid - our kids' safety is paramount and if you think there is something odd going on, you have every right to ask questions and act on it. Don't feel like you have to just shut up and put up with something you're not happy with, for any reason. I have felt bad before about complaining to DD's daycare director because she kept coming home sunburned and dehydrated (despite me asking repeatedly that she have her water bottle with her AT ALL TIMES, not just mealtimes), but she is MY child, I am paying THEM to look after her and why should I have to pull her out because they can't follow a simple instruction, kwim? It all got sorted out with no fuss and I'm now more than happy to send DD there, knowing she is getting a more than adequate standard of care.

Good luck with whatever course of action you choose to proceed with hun, give that little boy of yours a big hug and trust your instincts - usually our guts are right on the money, so go with it.

[prama]

good onya for doing what your insticts said!!

as the other mums have said either complain or ask her outright.. it's no excuse to bring someone and not bother to introduce.
for your peace of mind and the safety of all the babies there