How do I handle this one????

[briggsy's girl]

hun, i respect supervised showers, but make sure you discuss it, even just while you're dressing them or whatever, as to what normal boundaries are. inappropriate play can happen any time - and you want to make sure they're aware of what is right and wrong (i'm saying this from experience - my nephew was exposed to some inappropriate stuff by his cousin when they were five - nephew didn't know any different as it wasn't actively discussed - they just happened to be "sprung" - the boys weren't allowed to be unsupervised again for a lot of time until the cousin underwent counselling and they were able to trust him again.) at the ages your children are, you don't constantly supervise - they play in their rooms and things...)

[Rouge]

Something does need to be said to them. Personal boundaries is something that needs to be taught from a young age. And if it isn't it can lead to all sorts of problems, stemming from not knowing what is ok to happen to them or even what is ok to do to others. It's not something you should be ashamed of and it will not damage them to know that what they did wasn't ok and to teach them what personal boundaries they need for themselves and they need to give others. Even if it makes you uncomfortable it's something that is extremely important. Second to that if you don't know exactly what to say you can contact relationships austrlia or similar and they will put you in contact with a sex education counsellor who will give you the best advice on how to deal with this situation.

[Oorki Galoorki]

there is also the book "everyone has a bottom" would be perfect to show them they are the ones who make the rules about thier bodies.

[Leonie P]

We have had the 'Nobody touches your penis or vagina but you' talk many times before. along with the 'and you don't touch any one elses penis or vagina'
I'm more concerned with the 2 children involved at Daycare. Where does the little boy get the idea to do that, why wasn't there more supervision and what about the little girl...

[mrsmac]

I would be very concerned for the children at CC as that kind of oversexualised behaviour often indicates sexual abuse. If the CC is doing their job they will report it to DOCS as they are mandatory reporters.
You defintely need to take this further, even someone letting a child watch pornography is classed as sexual abuse.

[Floweryfields]

Yes I agree, over sexualised behaviours often do mean exposure to abuse or inappropriate things - the children that are doing this at daycare need some help incase this is happening to them. I also agree with others that you should talk to your children about what happened again. Clearly they know what they were doing was wrong because they stopped straight away when you 'caught' them. I think you need to discuss what things are appropriate with in the family as well as with other people with your kids too. ie we don't touch each other's parts or let any adult in the family touch us like that either.

[smiles4u]

......... oorki, does the book state at what age limit the book can be read to a child (eg, is my 3.5 DD too young for it ??) ... thanks xox

[MistyFying]

If you tell the Director, then their mandatory reporting policy should mean that they pass the info on to the relevant authorities.

If it were me, I'd also talk to your children and reinforce personal boundaries etc, let them know (in an age-appropriate way of course) that what DS saw was not the way children should behave (sorry. brain not working... there'd be better words than that).

I hope your chat with the Director goes well.

[HotI]

......... oorki, does the book state at what age limit the book can be read to a child (eg, is my 3.5 DD too young for it ??) ... thanks xox

the book is recomended for 3-8 year olds, so will be fine for your little one. she may ask different questions as she gets older.

Everyone's Got A Bottom - A Storybook For Children Aged 3-8 years

One possible issue with talking to the two little kids involved is possibly tainting their story if there is something extra going on that needs to be investigated by the police or child services. (in terms of what the kids at day care have seen/experienced)

Hope you get some answers this week.