I don't "have" to have DD1 or DD2 in CC and yet I chose to, and have always chosen to - starting with just one afternoon a week when DD1 was 8 mo. Without family close by to babysit on occasion, it is really the only child/baby free time I've ever had. The benefit to me is that I'm energised, more organised, more present and switched on with my children as a result of having quality time away from them. They too enjoy the change in environment, the new people they meet.
However, having said this, my preference has always been for family day care. I always felt slightly uneasy on those occasions when I needed to leave DD1 in a CC instead of FDC, as I don't feel the institutional environment is best. So if you still feel that time away from DD would benefit you but have reservations about the centre, I'd encourage you to check out the FDC scheme in your area as another option.
Good luck and I hope it's a smooth transition for you!
PS I too am shocked that anyone would send PMs like that!
QUeenmab - i hear you !! lol DD has been at my side for 14 months - been babysat twice (for a few hours at a time) and not because i dont want people to look after her - i just dont want to miss out on anything
I will put her in and see how she goes - i am sure i can take her out again (if a few weeks notice lol). And i am looking into family day care! thanks! it sounds nice.
p.s looks like my sole bodyguard has found herself a possy! lmao!
First up may I just say that I am disgusted that anyone sent you "hate mail" etc and that those people should be very very ashamed of themselves!!!! Just pathetic!
I think I may have replied to your previosu thread, but to give you some support:
WHen DD was three we had no other kids around, she has no social stimulation with other children. SO I decided to put her in ONE day a week.
She was fine with the one day a week thing and I never had any problems with it, infact at first I truly think that 2 days straight up would have been too much for her.
I didnt work days, but did work part time evenings and weekends so I guess there wasnt really a "need" for child care, but there certainly was a need for my little one to develop herself socially and emotionally so I believe it was the best thing by her.
I put my DD in daycare for 1 day per week when she was 4 months old, it was supposed to be a day for me to get some stuff done (like shopping as DH is a shiftworker and shifts change each week) and it just so happened that I went back to my old job p/t as things were getting a bit tight.
We then pulled her out at end of June so I didn't have to pay while we were away for 6 weeks, and just re-enrolled her this week. She was already happily playing before I even walked out the door.
I think it is good for them for the social aspect, and she has had some colds etc, but it is building her immunity. They do things like painting (which I am thankful that I don't have to clean up after this one) and have a lot more age appropriate toys and she has already learnt to share. She is also used to having to do as told from other adults, not just me and DH.
I have also just witnessed my cousin on the other hand who's daughter is 4 and has not been away from her mum in all her life and she is struggling with being left. Both her parents have had to go to work since they arrived in Oz and I have been asked a few times to pick her up cause she isn't settling (think this is a lot of being told what to do from someone other than her mum and she gets the sulks and not her own way). Not saying this happens if your child doesn't go to DC, but is a possible scenario.
So to answer you q, Yes I would and have and it was good for us.. This may not have been the case if I felt uncomfortable with the particular centre though..
My DD goes to family daycare one day a week and loves it. Yesterday she kept running to the door and asking to go to 'Linda's' Her carer, made me feel really wanted lol. Is it possible to start with two half days if you are worried about it being too long between visits then cutting back to one day a week. I don't think you are being a lazy mum at all, I work 3 days a week but I don't start until 1pm however DD starts FDC at 9 and I love those few hours to myself every week. When I go on maternity leave this time I will keep DD in FDC. Good luck with your decision.
I just want to say as well, its okay to send your child to care to have some time off. I'm going against what a lot of people feel and thats okay too. I didn't want my girls to go to care before they were 1 yrs old. FDC until they are 3, and I have a rule in our house that before they start school they have more days at home than in care. Just our house rule. I work weekends & nights and 1 day a week and its absolutely paramount for my mental protection that I get a few hours without the girls to organise the house & have something for me, a shower by myself, bath or a massage. Its nothing to be ashamed of, and its okay to say that for you or for me its a necessity.
Having worked in an Early Learning Centre (essentially a childcare centre with an education focus... run with a 0-2 room, a 3yo room, a 4yo room and a pre-prep room for children not quite school ready). It was an excellent centre but didn't offer single days except in the 0-2 room... and there were only 10 children in that room and it was very hard to get into...and it was very expensive (part of a private girls' school). But this is one of the very few CC options i would use if it was to be on a regular basis. The standards are very high... individual needs and differences are more likely to be catered for and the staff highly trained... and more mature women carers than young girls.
I've been to a few CC for a look which were truly miserable places. You really do have to choose your centre. This is where you really must trust your intuition and don't ignore alarm bells just because you are desperate for an outcome.
To answer you orignial question: yes, I would put a child of mine into CC for one day a week... even if I was a SAHM, but only if I was confident the centre was top notch and they are hard to find, to be quite honest.
I've been a SAHM for 8 years in total. The last 5 consecutive years. Since my older son has attended kindergarten (3yo and 4yo) I really understand how I have suffered from not having any help from extended family... for 2 years I had no break... day in day out no support....except for 1/2 a day "me time" on a Saturday when my Dh would step up and care for all 3 of my kids by himself. This has had a great toll on our relationship, my sanity, the cleanliness of the house, our ability to be organised as a family (the filing never gets done) and my health. If that is what people would want for you (by saying that a SAHM should not have access to even 1 day of CC) then expect society to crumble. Being a full time SAHM is the hardest job in the world don't question it.... harder than running a class of 25 3yos!!! (which i often did with just the help of an agency staff member when the qualified teacher was on sick leave). I often say to my DH "I need to get a paid job so i can have a break" Does this not say something to people???
Try it. Be VERY fussy in looking for the right place. And take your child's lead: if they love it then all is well... if they are miserable then stop it.
Hi PP,
just wanted to add my 2 cents worth,
DP has his own business so all things being equal I should be a full time SAHM. So I will have a choice. I want to be a SAHM because I want to raise my son & watch him develop. Lucky for me DP agrees In saying that I do think it is important that he goes to cc because when they go to school it is expected that they are able to socialise & know about routines. Yes you child can experience this in other ways but cc is a great way as well.
ATM I wouldn't put him into cc until he is about 3/4 but if I have another one I think I would like the break & some one on one time as other people have mentioned.
I also think cc helps with immunity, yes they do bring home colds but it helps to build their immunity up. If it becomes an issue you could always pull her out & put her in at summer when it shouldn't be so bad...
I have had friends who's children only went 1 day a week & those children had trouble adjusting because they forgot they would be going but each child is individual so your DD might love it.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks