Vent about overheard comment

[nicjay]

Hi all,

Just had to write this after overhearing a snippet of conversation while picking up DD1 from school the other day

Our school has a home reading program going for Kindergarten, which I think is great. DD1 loves reading her home reader most nights of the week, actually she loves reading fullstop so I have never had to force her to do her home reading Anyway, we have been doing it for about a month now and the school has little awards that they give out after every 25 nights of reading, she reads the little book and I write down each night she reads in her little record book for her. And she checks that I have done it too LOL

I overheard this other mother (don't know if her kid is in DD1's class or not) last week telling another mother how a kid in her kid's class is already up to 25 and can you believe that? How could you do that, have the kid reading every night including weekends And it was said in such a scornful tone of voice that I was just amazed!

Well, why not? The home readers take all of about 2 minutes to read with your child and if you can't be bothered taking a couple of minutes out from your busy day to read with your child well what kind of parent are you? And what haven't you ever thought of reading to your child as part of a bedtime routine or something? Or if not why not do it at another time of the day, just have a sit down and a little read and a talk to your child?! GRRRRRR people like this make me so mad, why do they even bother having kids! Morons. I'll bet she'll be the first to blame the teachers if her kid doesn't learn to read properly.

BTW, my DD1 will be cracking the 25 mark tonight LOL and proud of it

[Astrolady]

Unfortunately not every parent gets to read to their child every night. I have 3 kids and the only time I only really read to them or them to me, since 2 can now read is on a weekend. Even then it is not every weekend.

Good on you for reading to your child daily, but I don't think not being able to read daily makes me or anyone else a crappy parent. Reading to my kids before bed actually stirs them up and then they spend the next 30 mins talking amongst themselves when they should be sleeping as they have school the next day.

[ss_storm]

Gosh they make reading sound like the worst thing in the world! I love reading, and I think it's great they are starting home reader's at such a young age. I've always had a love of reading and know I get it from my mum as she is an avid reader as well. Books are great for entertainment/education and learning and shouldn't be made to feel like a chore as they seem to imply it is!

Congrats for your DD, she should be very proud!

[AnyDream]

Well, why not? The home readers take all of about 2 minutes to read with your child and if you can't be bothered taking a couple of minutes out from your busy day to read with your child well what kind of parent are you? Obviously a cr@ppy one. And what haven't you ever thought of reading to your child as part of a bedtime routine or something? Or if not why not do it at another time of the day, just have a sit down and a little read and a talk to your child?! GRRRRRR people like this make me so mad, why do they even bother having kids! Morons.

I think this is unnecessarily harsh. Many people have not grown up with the practice or 'culture' of reading, or with a reading lifestyle. Perhaps some families are dealing with difficulties with particular family members, the rigours of shift work, multiple jobs, chronic disease, or family conflict. I know when you can do it you think it's easy peasy but I for one am happy to confess there have been times over the last few years when I have been under pressure and no, I have not sat down with my DD to listen to her read or to read to her every single night. AND I'm a tertiary educated library-trained early literacy enthusiast.

So, I'll put my hand up for one of your cr@ppy parent badges, thanks.

[nicjay]

Kathryn, unfortunately it wasn't said in a way that indicated that she just didn't have time It was her saying that she couldn't be bothered and why would you read to them every day. I do understand that not everyone has time, it is a stretch for me some nights with only 2 children! But on the other hand like I said it takes all of 2 minutes to sit with your child and listen to them read it. I don't do it every single night either, if DD1 is tired then we give it a skip, its not the end of the world

[2CheekyMonkeys]

thats fair enough Astrolady. i am sure you wouldn't be the kind to be scornful of other parents who do have the time and are able to get their kids to read the 25 books or whatever it was in the original post though.
:-)

i think the worst bit is the fact that those parents you heard where talking as if it was a bad thing to be up to that level.

[~Gee_Whizzy~]

Unfortunately not every parent gets to read to their child every night. Good on you for reading to your child daily, but I don't think not being able to read daily makes me or anyone else a crappy parent.

:yeahthat:

i do read to my DD maybe not as much as i should, but she has the attention of a gnat at the moment, much more interested in walking around as this is her new skill she's mastered as for reading to her at bedtime, if i did that, id spend the next 45mins trying to actually get her to sleep

[Patooties]

Hi Megs Mum

I'd say the woman was probably just being defensive - perhaps she knows that she does have more time to devote to reading with her child. She possibly just wishes she wanted to.

Having been at school (my girls anyway ) for the past 3 years, I find that there are always negative Nellies out there, who will whinge and whine about anything and everything. Don't worry about this other Mum, you're doing a great job

[~Serenity~]

I have four kids so hardly ever get time and basically only do it when one of them asks, I wouldn't put other ppl down for it if they did though but I agree it doesn't make you a crappy parent if you font do it that sounds just as judgemental as they were being

[nicjay]

i think the worst bit is the fact that those parents you heard where talking as if it was a bad thing to be up to that level.

Exactly what I was trying to say It was all about the attitude of why bother and what a bad thing, I guess you had to be there to hear the way it was said. And to bag a kid (and parents) that does do it the way she did, well I don't like that at all

[AnyDream]

Well that's a fair comment MM but perhaps you could keep your criticism specific to that point, and not necessarily conclude that they are crappy parents, idiots or morons. Lots of people read this forum who would have good cause to be thoroughly insulted by your OP.

[nicjay]

Marydean, I thought I was being specific when I mentioned parents who can't be bothered. I never said anything critical about parents whose family circumstances don't permit them to do it for whatever reason. Sorry you read it that way.

[Saffi]

Megs - good on you for creating a love of books and reading with your daughters. My DS is always looking at his books, asking me to read to him, and even when he gets up in the morning he will sit by his bookcase and rifle through his books before he comes out.

Hope you're aiming for your daughter to be the first to make it to 50!

[Curly]

FWIW I knew exactly what you meant when I read the first post and could "hear" the tone in which it was meant. I agree. I also place a very high priority on the enjoyment of books and find it incredibly sad when I meet people who just don't read.

Unfortunately my kids play on it because they know that Mummy never says no when they want a book read to them. My DD can have a story read to her up to 12 times a day, every day, and it drives me mad but DS had the same thing and when I can see how he can now recite books off by heart to himself just for the sheer enjoyment of it, it's worth it.

[*LittleMissSummer*]

I think people are reading too much into the OP she was just stating that this particular lady was talking as if "pfft why would i read to my child" not in those words but with that attitude. I say good on any parent whos child can read that many books. Yes it can be hard to keep up with each kid, but my mum had 4 kids and when i was in kindy she had a baby but she was able to help be with my reading every night and i ended up being the best reader in my class. Now im not saying thats it that easy for every family as we dont know their lives.

Trouble with reading whats typed is you cant really tell the context something is being said in. Some people read it and get offended others don't.

But i think its a fair post to make. This lady sounded like she couldn't be bothered but in the end it will be her kid who will suffer.

[Phteven]

Unfortunately my kids play on it because they know that Mummy never says no when they want a book read to them. My DD can have a story read to her up to 12 times a day, every day, and it drives me mad but DS had the same thing and when I can see how he can now recite books off by heart to himself just for the sheer enjoyment of it, it's worth it.

I feel your pain. I have a policy that if they ask for a book I read it and they turn up with a book at the most annoying moments.
The pay-off is that Yasin can 'read' the books to Imran now.

[Smoke Jaguar]

I think it's about what different families prioritise. I read to DS as a baby and only because he had no choice! When he was big enough to choose to pay attention he chose to pay it elsewhere...quite disheartening as an English Major!
On the other hand, I prioritise swimming lessons in babies as young as 3 months and for me there is no option, it is just what I have to do for my own peace of mind and to optimise cerebral and physiological development. Many others do not and I don't get it.
The difference is that whilst I openly do not understand not prioritising swimming and water skills in babies and children (because I can see direct links between swimming and other skills my boy has), I don't scorn those who don't. What I think of their choice doesn't matter anyway, it won't change anything. Same if I hear someone make a comment about something I'm doing - none of my business what people say about me behind my back
And I find I can also be great friends with mummies who choose to prioritise other activities over swimming, and they can get over the fact that I don't prioritise reading (anymore!)
One good friend does lots of reading and indoor leggo-type play and her boy needs to do catch-up movement classes because she prioritised cerebral workouts over physical ones. I am finding that by giving DS plenty of physical outlets, it is helping the intellectual building blocks and he has great aptitude for non-physical things, increasingly. Learning awareness of his body and the space he occupies actually enhances how he thinks.
This other parent probably felt a moment of doubt about how they've approached the reading thing and chose to criticise rather than sit back and evaluate the merits of difference in parental priorities

[CrazyLady]

seriously it is not that hard to listen to a child read for 2 minutes. I remember being that age and throwing a tantrum because I found the books too easy.

How awful those mothers don't encourage their kids either