Feeling like a bad mum for NOT letting my baby cry...

[krisp]

I hate the "let him cry" thing too. My DS has only started sleeping through in the last couple of months (he's 19 months old now) and he was still getting an o/n bottle up until about 3 months ago. I just could not bear him crying for me in the dark by himself, the thought of him wondering why Mummy or Daddy didn't come for him made my heart break. Yes, maybe if we'd done the CC thing he would have slept through earlier but he got it eventually and in his own time. He has had a couple of bad nights this week but he has molars coming through so still needs a cuddle for comfort and reassurance and even though I'm tired and fat he still gets a snuggle from Mummy.When we are sitting together in the rocking chair in the dark and the baby kicks him in the back and he giggles it's all worth it. He's comforted and goes back to sleep without all that distress of crying himself to sleep.

I suppose CC works for some people but it wasn't for us.

Bubs WILL sleep through, it just takes time for some that's all...

[Haydies]

So many posts have already expressed my exact feelings. For me personally, I think controlled crying is cruel to a new baby (or really, any age child). Apart from the fact I just couldn't sit there and listen to my daughter crying for me and not go to her, from all the reading I have been doing recently, it's not healthy for them and can potentially have serious long term effects.

I've always wondered why everything in pregnancy and mothering is a competition with so many people. Who had the least amount of pregnancy symptoms. Who had the shortest labour, or who had the longest therefor making them better. Who did it drug free etc. And now I'm finding it things like how far apart their feeds are (I copped it from SIL because DD isn't 3 hours apart and moving to 4 hours at just 5 weeks), do they sleep through the night, how they handle bath time etc.

I remember reading a while ago that the "should" people - the ones that say what you and/or your baby should or shouldn't be doing, are like that because they need justification that they did the right thing. If they didn't cuddle their babies to sleep, then no one should because that means they did the right thing.

DD doesn't go down at the moment till around midnight, no 7pm bedtime here. I also can't comment if DD "sleeps through" yet, we co-sleep and she either sleeps through (from midnight till 6am) or we've just gotten damn good at the night feeds I don't even wake haha. I've gotten heaps of comments that she "should" be going to bed at 7pm at night, and the tsk tsk look when I say she doesn't. But I just love the look on their face when I tell them she'll let me sleep in till 11am - Midday if I want. Yesterday we changed a nappy at 6am, went back to bed and I rolled over at 11:30am because she wanted to feed... that shuts them up quick smart.

Big hugs Lee, you're doing a fantastic job!

Bringing up babies in the 70's 60's with this sort of approach meant that people would call her a Hippie, I guess now we are called softies.

I've actually wondered a few times if I'd be considered a Hippie because I co-sleep...