FF and Co-Sleeping...

[~Belinda~]

Do you think it's wrong for your Bub to FF and co-sleep with you? I have heard co-sleeping is good for BF mothers but my little one doesn't BF. She loves to sleep with me...she'll go down straight away at 10pm and won't wake until 6am. I'm afraid she won't go in her cot down the track however...part of me loves her sleeping with me!! I love being close with her.

I always think about other countries and how babies are with their mothers for so long, in a sling, by their side when they sleep etc....is it just our culture that is so strict on baby being in their own cot in their own room from when they come home from hospital?

Anyway....just interested on other people's thoughts on the subject...

[Emma1979]

hi there
i think a baby should sleep where ever she sleeps best... and if thats in a cot in her own room so be it, likewise with in the bed with her mummy...

i used to think the same thing about non western cultures and how much 'easier' it would be as it would be the norm to carry bubs about all day long and have her sleeping next to you.... i suppose i didn't factor in poverty and all the rest that goes with it alot of the time...

i think it would be wonderful if western society could strike some sort of balance but in a lot of cases i guess its not practical for mums of today to have their babies attached to them 'at the hip', there's so much to do (all of our material luxuries need maintenance like washing, house keeping, errands etc), and often mums have paid work too....

i fantastise about running off and living on an island and having nothing but me and bubs and daddy.... hehe

ps i used to on occassion cosleep too with my formula fed bub, i just did whatever worked at the time..... enjoy it while u can as she may become more independant then you will be longing for the snuggly days in the big bed with her!!

[~Belinda~]

Emma, I loved your post...thanks for your thoughts etc.

I loved particularly what you wrote about a deserted island, reminded me of that movie, "BLUE LAGOON"......!

[Janie]

I don't see why not hun! If you both love it, then keep on enjoying it FF bubs still love their mums and want to be near them! Cosleeping is such a lovely bonding time.

I think people talk about BFing and cosleeping simply because of the advantages re.sleeping while feeding (or at least lying down while feeding). I don't think there's anything else to it.

[sushee]

Hell yeah, you can FF and co-sleep! They are not interdependant at all! Co-sleeping is a great way to bond with your baby, and there is nothing to say you have to either BF or FF before you can co-sleep.

Enjoy your snuggle time with your baby. They're only small for such a short time, so follow your instincts, the body contact with her doting mum will do wonders for her and for you!

[~Belinda~]

Thanks Sushee...I just love sleeping with her but my DP sometimes gets worried that I'm setting a bad habit and he's worried that she'll be in our bed until she's 4! But that doesn't worry me, he's softening up as time goes on mind you, especially now she is smiling so much at him, I think he goes weak at the knees!!! Men hey...

Thanks for your advice, she hates her cot!

[sushee]

Lol Bindy my third child co-slept with me until he was 2 and a half, and it felt like he was never going to move out of our bed! But he did in his own time. Remember what they say, you don't see 21yos sleeping in their parents' bed, so you know they definitely move out of there at some stage. :P And just because she co-sleeps now doesn't mean you can't 'wean' her into her own bed later. But I reckon just cross that bridge when you come to it.

[~Belinda~]

I agree Sushee....you've made me feel so much better now, thanks so much!

[meow]

I heard somewhere recently that FF women are less likely than BF women to instinctively lie facing their baby while cosleeping so it may be less safe.

If you follow SIDS guidelines (which are a bit over the top at times IMO) then no one should cosleep but they do recommend having your baby in your room for at least the first 6 months- it's safer. I'm not so sure that cosleeping is nearly as unsafe as SIDS leads you to believe though.

Personally I agree with you that we're messing child rearing up a bit in western culture- I often look to more traditional cultures if I want to be reminded of how we probably should be doing things.

And don't ever worry about 'bad habits'... a 4 month old and a 4 year old are very different and they wont be doing the same thing. You can rest assured your 18 year old will not want to sleep in Mum and Dad's bed no matter how much they coslept as a baby

[Khaleesi]

I FF & Co-sleep with my little girl and i love it.
I put her down in her cot during the day & let her sleep with me at night, that way she's use to her cot.

[MantaRay]

I think that the talk about SIDS and co-sleeping is misleading. They recommend against it IMO because based on averages it is going to save more lives to do that than to recommend co-sleeping and hope that people follow the safe co-sleeping guidelines. However, there is evidence to say that safe co-sleeping reduces the risk of SIDS, as mum's breathing regulates the baby's breathing. Also mum is instantly aware if baby stops breathing, usually instinct will wake her up. As good as our instincts are, having our babies away from us makes it much harder to know that baby isn't breathing! So, if you are enjoying it and following the safe sleeping guidelines, then go for it.

[~Belinda~]

Madeleine stirs and I wake up, it's definately mother instinct...I really believe that. Thanks everyone for your advice and what you have experienced, it's made me feel so much better about sleeping with our little girl

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

If you can get your baby to sleep for 8 hours in your bed during the night, then WOOHOO!! Definately go for it! Why make things more difficult for yourself than they have to be?
I think that having lots of physical contact with bubs is healthy for both mum and bub personally.
Congrats on your decision to co-sleep!

[~Belinda~]

Baby_Socks, I agree. I have a particular friend who forms an opinion on co-sleeping and doesn't agree with it at all. Hmmm...I might call her at 3am when Madeleine won't go in her cot and is screaming and see if she wants to come over! Well....we are still co-sleeping happily and she's still sleeping right through. Sometimes she'll stir though at about 3am but goes back to sleep within the half hour....

Thanks to everyone for your replies!