I think it depends on what you deem "let him cry".
I have never been to sleep school, for similar reasons you have stated, i dont want to let my baby cry. I dont want him to feel abandonded.
However, to a certain extent, I htink they do need to learn how to settle them selves, so, i put him in his cot, and if he crys, i just stay with him, and try to console him best i can. If he gets unconsolable, then, i pick him up till he calms down, and then, put back in again. I dont necessarily pat him, but, i keep one hand on his back, or tum, or even his forehead. Or let him hold my finger, and i keep talking to him, calm, steady constant voice. During the night i might pick him up and rock him to sleep abit more as i dont want him to wake the household up, and, i dont want him to wake up so much either.
It has worked, it has taken abit to teach him to do it himself. I focused on day sleeps first, just being there with him, and then, started on his night sleeps.
The only time he really goes off the self settling thing is when he is teething now.
I was recommended to read The Baby Whisperer books, and they where great.
ETA - I also let him have playtime in his cot, and in his room, so he associated it with a fun place to be. If he wakes, and he is happy in his cot playing, then i leave him there till he wants out. He has his teddy in his cot, and a giraffe and 9/10 times will play happily. I think that is important as well.
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