Thanks for all the replies. The encouragement is great . I think I have a few weeks to come up with a non-rocking settling method before my back can't cope, so I can keep trying the gentle methods for a bit.

I called Tresillian back and say "i'm not going to do this". The suggestion was to try letting him grizzle and just not let it get to a cry. I feel much better being for honest with them about what I am prepared to do. the problem with the grizzle approach is that his grizzles only last about 4 minutes till they turn into what I call a cry. So I am going to work on making his cot a "happy place" as suggested, and once we are there, I'll try again. I figure I should only try it when I am willing to be consistent or he will start thinking "everytime I go into my cot I will just complain till mum picks me up".

I"m also going to get castors to put on his cot, so I can rock him in his cot. He might like it, worth a try anyway. The patting etc just doesn't work on him. I've tried holding his hand, he seems to like that.

i'm also buying a pinky mckay book.

And, I am going to not try and rock him to sleep for a nap for any longer than 25 min. If he takes more rocking than that, we're going for a walk instead. Kinder on my back.

BTW, the hot-water bottle trick is still great at night, but no dice during the day.