Help - I don't want to do 'controlled crying'

[sloane]

cate, no real suggestions from me but wanted to offer a big because we're going through a similar thing here.

i can't bring myself to do controlled crying & i am working on the basis that what melskys says is true - things will work themselves out in their own time. in the meantime, i am doing whatever i need to & this seems to change as we go along as well (i.e. day sleeps in the pram one week, next week being held, rocking to sleep one week, feeding to sleep the next etc!)

[lovelycate]

you guys rock!

Somehow it's so much more reassuring to hear "do what works" from other people than it is to believe it yourself, iykwim.

I'm so anti the whole CIO approach, even more so after reading "The Science of Parenting" - which basically says that CIO has a permanent, detrimental effect on their psychological development.

We will keep trying to figure out what he needs, and hope that it's 'just a phase'

[sneakysparkle]

youre doing a great job! Listen to your mummy instincts, and do whatever you feel comfortable doing. And don't listen to the "should" police!

[MamaPan]

we are having similar issues here - i think it is the age for it
i just repeat the mantra 'this too shall pass' and do what works on any given day..
shhhh and pattting works some of the time, feed to sleep often and sometimes i give up! or let him have a sleep in his swing

[Lady-bug]

That happened with us aswell, everything changed at 4 months. Just do what you need to do to get through this stage. Hope you get some sleep soon!

[lovelycate]

you're all so wonderfully supportive - and good to see some of my 'baby buddies' here too - not good that you're dealing with the same issue, but reassuring I guess

After reading the posts this morning I gave myself a little talking to about listening to the 'should police' (love that term sneakysparkle!) When it was time for Z to have a snooze I just got into bed with him and fed him to sleep. Couldn't sleep myself so left him to it once he was in a deep sleep and he went for TWO HOURS!!! It feels so much better to look at it in a more positive light, and to be able to do something which helps him to get to sleep calmly. For some reason he doesn't seem to like it as much to feed to sleep if I'm sitting up, but I can deal with that!

So, 'this too shall pass' will become my new mantra (it used to be 'it is what it is').

[kelebek]

BB was my saviour for this exact reason. Everytime I tried to do the 'right' thing by the 'should' police it just stressed me out more. I would get on BB and get the support I needed and I would go with the flow and everyone was much happier