I am at a total loss

[BekZ]

Firstly hugs. Sounds like you have heaps going on atm. My first suggestion would be to trust yourself more. You know your daughter better than you think. Oh yeah and make sure you take time out for some R and R before bub comes.

Did you just change DD to milk? It some times takes weeks for bub to adjust and they can get windy and bloated. If DD still complains of a sore tummy then try taking her off milk and giving her rice milk or some thing.

With your bedtime routine I have always found that being consistent works. Keep to the same time, put her to bed and don't take her out. If she is cracking it then pick her up, give her a cuddle and put back down. If she is uncontrolalbe then I would leave the room for a minute (this is for your sanity), wait till she settles down a bit, then go back in and tell her it is time to sleep. If you are getting too stressed then let DH take over but he must do the same that you were doing. You may find that it takes a month for DD to settle on her own and bedtime to improve but she will get it. Please disregard this advice if it does not sound right for you but this is what I have done with my DD. BTW once I took the dummy away she slept through the night...but don't try this until you have the current issue sorted.


Let us know how you go

[BekZ]

I just read the end of your last post. yes it is possible that she is teething, especially if she is putting her fingers in her mouth

[Nadine216]

Thanks Bekz

I don't think her problem is that she are not able to settle herself. It's that atm she does not want too. She was in such a good routine and I would lay her down and go back 10 minutes later to a sleeping angel. It's just the last two weeks that has been this silly wishing game, that is why I think something is up

I also think that she is going thru a emotional "growth-spurt". She gets frustrated and don't know how to handle then herself yet. It's awfull to watch, but she throws a tanty time and again. Lucky I am very patient, so we are sort that out. She is in day-care and I think she is learning (from other kids) to hit in order to cope with frustrations. That makes it worse, because she will deliberitly walk to me to come and hit me when I have taken something away. But me and DH is on the same page there, so it's handled in a consistent matter.

Thanks for all your input ... I enjoy brainstorming in here. Makes one feel less ... stupid

[Nadine216]

SHE SLEPT THRU LAST NIGHT!!!! *do a little dance*

I could not believe it. She had a bit of a struggle to go to sleep, but it's the darn cat's fault I just had her relaxed and she picked up her head and saw the cat and all my "hard" work went out the window. I got up at around 2:30am for a bathroom break and went to check if she was still under the covers. She was sleeping soundly and snoring softly .. too cute. She woke at 6:30, I got her into bed with me and she settled down for a light nap till 7:30 when daddy came to wake her up.

I am elated about her sleeping throught last night. I just hope it was not a once-off thing

[paradise lost]

Sounds like things might be resolving now hun (i'm late again! LOL) but my thoughts:

Teething. Seriously DD goes through this sometimes and NOTHING was different. The most frustrating thing was that nothing every changed either (like no teeth appeared to let me know it'd been teething all along) but then after a particularly bad 3 weeks of it a molar appeared and i was like "oh riiiiiiiiight!" and we haven't looked back. It can be frustrating as DD only got her first molars at 23 months, and now she's getting her 2 year molars so we have about 2 weeks of every 6 where she isn't sleeping. I just try to really enjoy the month in between I get the impression that it's lying down, which puts pressure on the back of the head and changes the pressures inside the sinuses makes the jaws ache more where the teeth are coming up. Which is how come the moany moany moaning when they lie down. DD used to mess about and get in and out of bed and fall asleep sat up and all sorts! LOL. I think when the first teeth come through the gums hurt but when it's the back teeth they can get jaw ache, ear ache, sore throat, you name it. And FWIW i don't find painkillers work very well for tooth pain on ME, so maybe bubs have the same trouble?

Re the hitting - i re-direct DD. "Don't hit Mama, that hurts! Hit the cushion/sofa/whatever." I don't know what you do but i found this really helped her in the gap between being feeling the strong emotions and being able to verbalise her feelings. Like if she wasn't allowed to hit she had no way to express her emotions, but i didn't want her to think hitting people or animals was ok. My DP was always told not to hit/shout etc. (stopped rather than redirected) and he BOTTLES his feelings to this day!

Bx

[Nadine216]

No, Bec you're not late. And I also do think that it might be teething after all, although like you said, I can see nothing new or now swelling or anything. She already has four molars, but they do seem to retract somedays if that could be possible. I would see them clearly one day and the next it would look like the gums are swollen around and over them. She does not complain when I touch it though. And no, pain meds don't help my toothache either.
I think Monday night was a fluke She had a ok'ish night last night, woke up about 3 times, not to bad. Only bugger is that I could not sleep!!! I had an extream hayfever attack about 9pm last night and that got me nice and stuffed up in the sinusses for the whole night (still am) I woke up every hour and really could not get comfy in bed inbetween. Aw well, that's life for you

Re - the hitting. Thanks for the tip. I like the idea of re-directing her. I would just tell her NO in a stern voice and say that you don't hit ppl. So getting her to maybe hit the couch or a cushion would be better. Thank you.

[paradise lost]

Yeah DD's 2 year molars (the 2nd set of molars) are giving her hell still. Now 2 are through but not fully "up" iykwim, and the other 2 are still coming through the gum. With DD i definitely think the pain is more in her jaw, neck and head than just on the gums as it was with the front teeth. SHe often holds or pulls her ears when her teeth are bothering her (every time i go to the doc i have him look in her ears! lol) or holds her head. My only experience in memory is that of 2nd teeth and wisdom teeth, both of which definitely made me feel a bit off while they came through. Hang in there hun, i really do find that she'll have a few baddish weeks in a row and then be fine for just long enough for me to get sane again.

Re: the hitting - you're welcome I have found in general, especially with DD being so young, that she is NEVER really being "naughty" but is always expressing an emotional or sensory need. Even if it's something she kind of knows i don't like, she NEEDS to do it (the drive to learn is so strong in us apes) and she has no impulse control to stop herself. So she might really need to hit something, or throw, or even touch water or scrunch her toes in a new texture. That doesn't mean i have to be hit, have things thrown at my head, have water poured all over my bed or sacrifice my oatmeal to her curious feet! But i tend to try to offer a reasonable close alternative rather than stop her altogether, and if there ISN'T one (like there aren't really "safe" matches to play with) i give her something similar - a bottle of beans that rattles like the matchbox, or some short pipe-cleaners that are thin like matches to feel, or i engage her in something else entirely, "help mummy" is always a winner round here She loves doing the dishes (i let her wash her own picnic set) and cooking (she carries peelings to the bin etc.). Little people can be really helpful AND kept busy if you involve them in safe ways.

Having said that sometimes i turn my back - my bed is drying from a water attack right NOW

Bx