We seem to have improved things by feeding almost (rather than completely) to sleep. DS has his big feed in our bed, then we read stories and then I turn out the light and he feeds a bit more. When he slacks off the feeding I roll over - he cuddles in to my back and goes to sleep. If he still wants boob then he pulls my shoulder until I roll over again, but mostly he just wants to snuggle. It took a month to get to this point, and we still have 1 or 2 wakeups most nights, but it's not 2 hourly any more. Usually we plonk him back in his cot once he's asleep - he now lets us do that, whereas at its worst he would be awake and angry the instant we picked him up.
I don't have an answer for that annoying 2 hour middle of the night party though - that still happens sometimes!