A no-cry sleep success story!

[Junglemum]

My DD is 12 months old and we have had some real ups and downs with sleeping but i wanted to share our story to give others a bit of hope.

I BF DD to sleep(until she was 10 months) i rocked her to sleep, i patted her and i sang to her. Not all at once mind you, but at different times!
We took the general approach of the 'no-cry sleep solutions' book which was to take any changes slowly, and if they are not working it is ok to fall back on the old faithful methods. So when i was trying to get her to fall asleep in her cot it took a while but i would finish her feed, put her down and stay with her until she settled. Sometimes she cried and i would pick her up and BF her to sleep and give it a go the next night.

Yes it took a while, but now i can say my DD has 1 to 2 day sleeps, and sleeps 12 hours a night. She happily puts herself to sleep if i put her down awake most of the time. sometimes she need an extra cuddle but thats ok with me!

I am glad i didn't listen to the chorus of 'just let her cry' 'it's good fer her lungs' yadda yadda yadd, what a load of bollocks. I'm also glad i have a wonderful supportive DH. So hang in there if you are having a tough time, there is hope ahead.

[boomba]

Thanks for sharing Ange. Well done on sticking with whats best for you and your gorgeous girl! Well done lil one! And well done to your DH for being so wonderfull!

I am still hoping to see the light at the end of the tunnel! Your an inspiration to me, thanks hun!
I have a well meaning aunt telling me you have to let them cry or they will never learn! Thank god I can come in here and feel supported!
I think I can see the light.........

[Ozziehoffy]

Well done!! It's hard to "go against the grain" so to speak... especially from some of the older generation..."in my day... I raised..." Yep we get that, but I don't want to do it that way!! GOOD ON YOU!! Gotta love the supportive DH too, certainly makes the journey easier

[maz]

feel so horrible leaving Mateauz in his cot to cry...I almost start and have to keep myself busy to not go in there.

Thank you Ange for sharing this with me and not making me feel like im the only one this effects...from now on my little man is gonna get more hugs and less chanch's at crying

[krysalyss]

Great story Falguni!
We also have a no-cry success story. Our 18 month old has been putting himself to sleep for about 5 months now. We just pop his night light on and he goes into his cot. Sometimes he even asks to go to bed or gets his dummy and blanky for it. Not only that but he is happy and confident and good at expressing his feelings because he knows he is heard.
My advice to all the struggling people out there - give yourself a break. Follow your instinct to just love and enjoy your child. The long-term benefits come out in all aspects of their life. And the sleep stuff does get better too. And don't let people (or yourself) judge your parenting on how well your child sleeps because it is bollocks. lol.

[Junglemum]

Thanks for reading and the replies.

Amber- The light is there! You'll make it too.
Maz- Don't be too tough on yourself love. 4 kids is a juggling act at any time. You do an amazing job, Mateaz is a well loved little man.
Cass and Krysalyss- Thanks . Yep good advice Krys.........

give yourself a break. Follow your instinct to just love and enjoy your child. The long-term benefits come out in all aspects of their life.

[aussienic]

Thanks for your story.. It has come at a good time.. I have been leaving my DD to cry in her bed as I thought maybe thats what she needs to go to sleep.. but I think I will take a different approach

[~kellie~]

Thanks Ange for sharing your story - and well done! I too can now see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Do you think it took about 2 months to work?

[Jaycee]

It's great to hear of a success story, thank you!
It seems there are a few of us out there at the moment going through sleep problems.
Although I can't actually see the light at the end of the tunnel at the moment, your story has made me realise, there is a light and one day I will see it

[Marlene]

Thanks for posting a great success story! I am one that is getting pressure (even from DH) to let Jack "cry it out" but I refuse too, so glad to see "comforting" work for you.

[Rahjah]

oh how lovely to read a positive story like this, thanks for sharing!

What did you do to extract yourself from your bubs sleep association, out of interest? I'm tossing up whether to do that or not, I'm really just wondering if I have the patience and committment right now. It seems easier just to stay doing what we are doing IYKWIM.

Good on you! Tell us what you did

[Junglemum]

Kellie- i guess it took two to three months......

The reason i posted my story was to give others a bit of light at the end of that long tunnel. Once peoples babies sleep well you don't hear much about them anymore, just all the horror stories! So i am glad it has encouraged at least a couple of people.

Rah- Basically what i did was deal with one thing at a time. So, to stop the feeding to sleep, i would pull her off and just rock her. If she was upset i'd put her back on. I certainly didn't put her back on at the first cry because often shed let out a protest squark and then settle. But if she was upset and wouldn't be comforted by a cuddle and rocking i'd put her back on. I would do this a few times until i felt i didn't want to persist as it was getting hard, then i would just feed her to sleep. The next time i'd do it all over again until it got to the point where i could rock her to sleep.
Once we were at this point i worked on putting her down a little bit awake and rubbing her tummy or patting her until she fell asleep. Same thing again, if she got upset i'd pick her up and cuddle her until she settled then try again. If it wasn't working i just rocked her to sleep and then put her down.
Like i said, she would let out a little cry, but not an upset one. I was happy for her to have a grizzle but i stayed with her and alwaysh comforted her if she got upset.
This is what worked for me, but as you all know, every baby is different so you might need to things a bit differently.

If any of this sounds like a good idea I really recommend reading 'no cry sleep solutions'. I only read it once, but it gave me confidence to know i was doing the right thing. And the most important thing is if you are getting somewhere and then have a bad night and have to revert to old methods such as feeding to sleep, IT DOESN'T MATTER. You havn't ruined everything, just keep going the next time.
Best of luck to everyone.

[suse]

Congratulations Ange!! That's fantastic!

Out of curiosity, do you have consistent sleep times and pre-bed routines? I've just been reading 'no cry sleep solutions' and it seems that a fairly key message is consistency of routine.

I really want to try to gently guide Euan to self-settling (presently he is either fed or rocked in a pram to sleep, he will occasionally self settle at night if he wakes but not often), and to adopting an earlier bedtime (currently it is 11:00pm at the earliest, he has always been a nightowl).

The only problem that I have is that it is almost impossible for us to have a proper night routine because my partner works until 6:30 three nights of the week, and until 8:30 the other two nights. Because he doesn't drive I am taxi driver, and so we are not home until after 7:00 or 9:00, making a consistent early bedtime tricky.

What did you do?

[Junglemum]

Must be hard trying to organise everything and be the taxi too! Hats off to you suse.

Yes we have a bedtime routine. Food, nappy off, bath, quiet play, books, cuddle, bed.
If we are in a hurry, it is food, bath, books and cuddle, bed. i try and do this even if it is late. We have skipped the bath a few times and she was ok.

I think it is important to do those wind down things, even if you get home late, maybe you could just have a book, cuddle, bed routine. We all do the best we can with what we've got. If all you can do is a quiet story in his room with the lights dimmed, then that is great. As long as he associated the activities with sleep then it should help in the long run.

When Lu woke in the night, for a long time she needed a reassuring pat to go back to sleep, slowly she started to wake and self settle without crying out, they do get there, slowly but surely! Its great if DH can help with this, i found if i went in she wanted a feed but she settled much better for him. He was a great help during this time.

Just had a massive day at the expo, a bit tired! hope i am being coherrent!

[Lolli]

Wow I'm feeeling a bit inspired.... I might have to give that book another look. i flicked through once and thought it seemed like too much hard work (I think it was the sleep diary that put me off).

[sushee]

Falguni,

I love stories like this! It shows it can be done!

I too never let Charlie cry, and I do the bedtime routine religiously, even now. And Charlie learned to self-settle on his own at 11 months, and learned sleep all night too, without us ever having to 'let him cry it out'.

A no-crying sleep solution works. More and more mothers are finding that out every day.

[Rahjah]

Wow this thread is renewing my energy and hope levels I think it is me that is a bit inconsistent with approach because 50% of the time I adore helping DS off to sleep and 50% of the time I find it impractical - and in thinking about a #2, I don't know how I'd do both! It's been a good gift while we've had it though, but as he gets older, I'd like him to do it on his own.
So this is hopeful! Thanks.

I don't feed him to sleep, but he is obsessed with having one arm around my neck, playing with my hair. Tonight I gave it a go (withdrawing myself) and even though his eyes were shut and he was pretty much asleep he started waving his hands, searching all over the place to find me. I was so annoyed that it WOKE him up. Is this what to expect? A realllyyy long drawn out going to sleep process until it changes?
*sigh*

I need to prepare myself to be more patient at that rate.

[Gigi]

thanks for sharing Ange, it IS good to read successful stories. We need more of them.