Opinions please on settling

[Janie]

Am I making a rod for my back?

I currently rock Nicholas to sleep about 80% of the time. He has always been a baby who likes to be on the move, and lately I've been cuddling him while strolling around the house until he's asleep. He used to feed to sleep, but our latest BFing issues have stopped that .

ATM I'm really happy to do this, but am I going to regret it later on? Is there some other way I can get him to settle peacefully?

[Astrid]

You might regret it as he gets heavier, especially if it starts to take longer and longer to do, which is what happened to me. Maggie would need a mixture of rocking and feeding to sleep.

You could try introducing music as a sleep cue. It might take a few goes working out what works, but put on some music when you start the walking around the house and cuddling. Then after a week or so start to make small changes. Such as maybe only cuddle to sleep in the room that you want him to go to sleep in, then maybe stop the walking around. You could then add patting to replace the walking, so you then might be able to put him down in his cot/bed/whatever and get him off to sleep with the patting.

So maybe have a good think about what you would be comfortable doing and what you might think will work for him. Good luck

[Dee78]

have you tried using a baby hammock?
These are great at getting baby to sleep, they bounce and move everytime the baby does and they fit nice and snug in them too (like they are being held)

Good luck!!

[Erin_25]

You could end up regretting this, I know someone who still has to rock their 16month old DD & it's a very long process & means they can't stay out long as she gets very overtired. I know I stopped very quickly when I noticed DH & I couldn't even enjoy a meal together at night time. It takes a couple days, but if you find something easier that works just keep trying & you should be able to change....the earlier the better. I've been told it's about 4months they start to really remember the routing & so on. We have a routine each night that lets DS know it's bed time, we do this even if we are going out (if possible). During the day we use music, & not the same each time...I change it regularly. We dont use any crying methods, if he's very upset then we just try again later.
We recently purchased a rocking chair on sale at "toys r us"...it's great!! if I do need to resettle at night or even for the night feeds. You can sit & relax & gently rock at the same time. If I do this, once I see he's starting to nod off I put him in bed, sleepy but still awake so he know's how to go off to sleep on his own.

[Liz]

I was going to suggest a rocking chair

I think in one of the books I have it suggests just shortening the rocking time gradually, so that eventually they're dropping off to sleep when you're not rocking. Kind of weans them off it iykwim. It would get tiring rocking a toddler off to sleep. I'm sure you could transition it slowly to just cuddles to sleep

[MistyFying]

Hi...have you checked out Pinky McKay's article on the main site about sleep? You can read it here. Hope you find some solutions soon

[Lucy]

If you are happy with it at the moment, I'd honestly say keep doing it. The hammock idea is a good one as a replacement (I have had all 3 of my babies in a hammock, so I am a big advocate!)

And the suggestion from Astrid re music is a good one too.

They are little for such a short time, honestly, if you are happy to rock Nicholas , rock away!

but am I going to regret it later on?

Only time will tell I guess. I know that with Olivia I worried all the time about setting up "bad habits" for later, but my fears were pretty much unfounded! She was rocked to sleep for the first 4 months of her life, then SHE decided she didn't want it any more, so I popped her into the hammock awake with music on & she would drift off........(so my earlier fears were unfounded...........)

Nicholas may adapt his own habits all by himself?

Charlie STILL likes to be rocked before bed, all 16kg of him, LOL! (I love it too.....that solid little body all snuggling up to me, with his face in my neck!)

Sorry sweets, I probably haven't helped much, but I say go with what feels right for you both at the time......

[Boo Boo]

I am still doing the walking round the house with Rylee and she is 11 months - hmmmm - but to me it is better than listening to her cry - I also have a cd playing as a cue for each nap/sleep time - this really helps to relax her and wind down - I only started this when she was 6 months old but she knows it is nap time when she hears it playing. One of these days she will be able to self settle but Lucy is right they are little for such a short time and it flies by.

Good luck
Laurin

[Ambah]

We spent the first few months rocking Aidyn to sleep in our arms... and as he got older it did get harder because he was heavier - DP and I would have to keep taking turns with him!

When time came for us to move onto another method of getting Aidyn to sleep, I wanted to be as gentle as possible with the transition. He was used to being close to our bodies previously for all of that time, so I didn't feel right about trying to put him into the cot where he would be on his own. So what we did was start bringing him to bed with us, and I would cuddle him in the crook of my arm/shoulder, and he seemed to really like it and would fall asleep well like that. I would also sometimes stroke his face and forehead gently, and this too would help him drift off.

We found it was fairly easy to transition Aidyn into different sleep/settling habits for the first year. It was when he was older that things became more difficult.

There are some fantastic suggestions in here if you do feel that its time for a transition... But at the same time, if you are happy to do what you are doing, and it is working well, then there probably isn't much of a need/rush to change it. Its such a lovely way to help them to drift off... and can be really comforting as a Mum too just rocking your baby in your arms... just beautiful

[Michelle71]

At my sleep and settling session at mother's group last week it was suggested that until 6 months it is fine to settle any way to get you through the night / day. After that it may become an issue and a little bit of hard work for a short time to change the pattern but until then just do what suits you.

I do a combination of rocking to sleep, holding in the HAB, feeding to sleep and putting to bed semi sleeping for Oscar to settle himself. It just depends on the day and his mood.

[Janie]

Some wonderful suggestions! Thank you everyone

Michelle, we're a bit the same, we have a combo going here too . Just now we've had a lovely cuddle with the music going, but I put him down before he was totally asleep. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't.

Thank you to those who suggested that if I'm enjoying it, don't stop, and do what feels best. I didn't expect those responses, but I think that's what I needed to hear! I DO enjoy it, and I am trying to make the most of him being little. I think I'll stop stressing and just take it a day at a time.

I like the suggestion of the music cue, any good cds out there? (I don't want to play him anything crappy LOL). And I think I'll try to stick to rocking in the room, rather than wandering. Those are things that feel comfortable to me ATM. Hopefully one day I'll be able to sit down to do it!

[Astrid]

Music varies from bub to bub. We use Enigma, Enya, Moby, Robert Miles, UB40, Peace Baby, medieval mediation music, James Blunt etc. I find it useful to use different ones, saves the sanity on occasions and some days a certain piece of music will not work. I do save Peace Baby for nights though and use different music for day naps. HTH

[Bathsheba]

I was also going to suggest a rocking chair.

We try a combination of methods and it is true that babies can grow out of a particular method themselves... so you might just as well do what works ATM.

[Liz]

Good on you sezjm We pretty much do whatever works too. I haven't had to rock DS to sleep tho.. and I was probably thinking of my pregnant back right now when I agreed that it could get tiring! hehe.

If you're enjoying it, and it works.. then I wouldn't change it either. I agree that they can grow out of particular methods.. everyone (except BB girls of course ) frown on feeding to sleep, but Tallon is definitely coming out of that slowly, so I haven't made a rod for my back at all with that one... in fact I look at it that I've made the most of the quickest way to put him to sleep for the last 17 months! LOL.

Enjoy all these cuddles to sleep while they last.. these first couple of years fly by way too quickly.

[Janie]

Oh gosh Liz, I WISH Nicholas would still feed to sleep, I think it must be a lovely way to nod off! The fact that we're still feeding at all here is pretty good though, so I'm not going to get too upset about it Having BB is great isn't it, I wouldn't tell anyone else that I rock Nicky to sleep, because I know they'd tell me I'm crazy. I don't think I'm an idiot, I'm aware that at some point I might find it difficult, but ATM it works for us. That's why I wanted opinions on here, because I know I'm not the only one who does it!

I do have a rocking chair, which sometimes works, usually if he wakes for a feed in the night. He's already quite sleepy at that time though. Which I'm glad of, because it saves me trailing all over the house half asleep LOL. But usually he wants to be on the move, that's what really sends him off.

I like the idea of having different music for night and day, that's a good one. I might have to hop on Limewire and compile a couple of cds for him (yeah, when I have time!). I have some nice settling cds, but they always seem to have some loud song come on halfway through LOL! Peace Baby sounds nice, I might look out for one of those.

Thanks for all the wonderful ideas!

[Lucy]

Sweets.....we have Peacebaby at night (same same same same every single night LOL!) but in the day, compliation CD's and the radio......)

[Bathsheba]

How true is it about a loud track coming on about half way through the CD on albums that are designed for settling babies!!! I have the ABC Classics for babies and they have it all wrong: it starts with the most peaceful track... then it's ok for several songs...then there's a really climactic one then it's peaceful again I bet a man was in charge of the track list on that one!

[Astrid]

Or there is a large gap of silence just before the last track an guaranteed that is when someone makes a loud noise (street hoon, DH bashing about in the kitchen etc). I have a baby calm playlist in itunes they I use when I am being lazy mum and trying to get her to sleep on my lap whilst I surf the net.