Why dont you try seeing a natural therapist. I have a great homeopath here in Brisbane if you want the details. They can give you some calming remedies and ones for sleep as well. It seemed to help us. Other than that, have you tried giving him a day bed in the living room etc. this way he can go to sleep where you are and if he wakes up, you are still there. I personally think with an extreme like this, you kind of need to go to extreme comforting levels to build his confidence and then work back to more normal levels. If sleeping in the living room works, you can then introduce some comfort items like mums clothing, a new teddy, sleep music, a nightlight etc and wait until he is comfortable with that before trying to move him back into the bedroom. HTH