Firstly, ikwym about the "scared" thing as DD's daddy has let her stay up because she's "scared" (i.e. he asked her if she was scared and she nodded) and now uses the word whenever she can see she's not getting her own way. I can usually tell when she's scared because she cries and actually forgets to say "scared". I can tell by her cry when it's genuine, and i'd say about 90% of the time now "scared" is a button she's pressing. Works with Dada, doesn't work with me.

Anyway, a few ideas...is her cot still set up? ATM DD has her bed and cot both made up in her room. She has her stories in the big bed but then is put into the cot to sleep (there's guard rail and everything on the big bed, it just suits me better to have her in the cot just now as i'm having visitors with kids come to stay next month and if she's in the bed i'm on the sofa LOL). She sometimes gets out of her cot and falls asleep reading to herself in the big bed, but i just move her when i check on her before i go to bed.

If your cot is still set up when she says she's scared you can give her 2 options - she can sleep in the cot or the bed. "But i'm scared" - well, there's nothing to be scared of, i promise, and to prove it i'm going to put you back to bed so you can see there's nothing scary in your lovely bedroom. I really think you've answered fears in all the ways you can - she has a nightlight, she's put to bed lovingly with stories and kissies. You could try asking what she is scared of, if it's the big bed then put her in the cot that night? If she can't tell you anything specific it's more likely to be her trying her luck. You might also try, next time she IS scared (like immediately she wakes from a nightmare) using the word "frightened" as an alternative. Perhaps "scared" has become too much of a tool.

We also went through phases of "hungree" and "water! water!" at bedtime. I'm sure my DD thinks there's a magic don't-have-to-go-to-bed word if only she knew it. LOL.

I can remember being scared at bedtime and to be honest that there AREN'T monsters under the bed, or in the wardrobe, that there ISN'T someone outside the window, that nothing WILL happen to you in the dark, are all things you need to learn on the job. You can't figure all that out and get your confidence in mummy and daddy's bed.

Bx