SO frustrated with day sleeps :(

[tsv_girl]

Hi everyone
My ds (declan) is 10 weeks old and have developed a bad habit of putting him in the swing during the day to rock him to sleep. He can sleep for over an hour if we let him. I don't think it's a deep sleep because he still jumps if there is a loud noise or we bump him. He wakes up within a couple of minutes of me turning off the swing.

He seems to sleep fine during the night in the cot when we put him down half asleep and even the 2am feeds. He wakes up each time in the cot during the day. I try to leave him there to put himself to sleep, but after 15-20mins he is crying and screaming.

Should I just keep persevering with the cot during the day? I am worried that he will grow out of the swing soon and I won't know what to do.

Thanks guys
tsv girl

[Barb Glare]

Hi,

I can't help thinking that the "feed-play-sleep" routine is the biggest cause of mother frustration in our society! Touted by experts, few mothers understant that this is an artificial artifice designed to make the life of health professionals and so called parenting experts easier. For babies it makes no sense - they have got no idea about what we are on about!
What to do when your baby is not a sleep? Read him a book (yes, even from birth! You will be amazed at how quickly they "catch on" and learn to love reading) Take him for a walk - preferably in a sling so they are in the middle of all the action. Feed him when he wants to be fed. My children all now at school, are encouraged to take fruit and vegetables and water to school and have it on their table so they can snack when they need to. This gives them the energy to think and learn. Our babies are learning at a rate they will never again experience - they are drinking in the world. Yet we want to deprive them of the nutrition they need for this - it makes no sense to me at all! When my blood sugar levels are low, I'm pretty grumpy! I think babies would be the same. Go to your ABA and mothers group meetings. Meet friends for a coffee. Put him in a position where he can see you cooking, cleaning etc. In my experience the frustration comes from having your back bent over a cot patting and rocking a baby who wants to go out and play! From what I understand, your little one is a good sleeper at night - I think you will find that there will be a payoff - and that may be less sleep during the day. I think if I were you I would be congratulating myself on what an interesting, social little bub you had - a perfectly adapted little human.
Warm Regards
Barb

[mihnister]

Hi everyone
My ds (declan) is 10 weeks old and have developed a bad habit of putting him in the swing during the day to rock him to sleep. He can sleep for over an hour if we let him. I don't think it's a deep sleep because he still jumps if there is a loud noise or we bump him. He wakes up within a couple of minutes of me turning off the swing.

He seems to sleep fine during the night in the cot when we put him down half asleep and even the 2am feeds. He wakes up each time in the cot during the day. I try to leave him there to put himself to sleep, but after 15-20mins he is crying and screaming.

Should I just keep persevering with the cot during the day? I am worried that he will grow out of the swing soon and I won't know what to do.

Thanks guys
tsv girl

there is a fabulous child-related blog "Ask Moxie". She says, for the first 3 months, just get your baby to go to sleep any way you can... swing, car, whatever. Knowing how hard it is to get a newborn to sleep, I agree with her.
In a few weeks though, I suggest you keep trying with the cot. Every sleep, at least give him a chance to go to sleep in his cot. if he gets a bit upset, calm him, put him back in the cot. and so forth till you get fed up or you can tell it is not going to work. then go to swing.

I suggest this because of what my bub did.

from birth to 3 months, I had to rock him totally to sleep in my arms, and put him in his cot 100% asleep. Then from 3 months, I tried rocking him then putting him in his cot "sleepy awake" and he would fall asleep in his cot that way about 40% of the time, which was great.
But I stopped for a couple of weeks, and from then on, it was screaming when he even got close to the cot. the result of this can be seen in a thread I started,
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/comforted-sleeping-no-cry-sleep-solutions/64618-gentle-solutions-do-they-really-work.html
I put it down to the two weeks of never even trying to get him to self settle.

so by keeping on trying, and giving your bub the opportunity to try self settling, it is at least possible he will get it when he is ready.
If you don't try, it won't ever happen.

does that make sense?

you can read about the method I had to use to get back on track in that thread I've linked. I would much prefer to have avoided the problem.

BTW a friend lent me a book "lull-a-baby" which focuses on avoiding sleep problems in the first place, would be great for someone with a baby under 3 months.